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| the science of building stronger friendships: Frientimacy Shasta Nelson, 2016-03-01 With the constant connectivity of today’s world, it’s never been easier to meet people and make new friends, but it’s also never been harder to form meaningful friendships. In Frientimacy, award-winning speaker Shasta Nelson shows how anyone can form stronger, more meaningful friendships, marked by a level of trust she calls frientimacy.” Shasta explores the most common complaints and conflicts facing female friendships today, and lays out strategies for overcoming these pitfalls to create deeper, supportive relationships that last for the long-term. Shasta is the founder of girlfriendcircles.com, a community of women seeking stronger, more fulfilling friendships, and the author of Friendships Don’t Just Happen. In Frientimacy, she teaches readers to reject the impulse to pull away from friendships that aren’t instantly and constantly gratifying. With a warm, engaging, and inspiring voice, she shows how friendships built on dedication and commitment can lead to enriched relationships, stronger and more meaningful ties, and an overall increase in mental health. Frientimacy is more than just a call for deeper connection between friends; it’s a blueprint for turning simple friendships into true bonds and for the meaningful and satisfying relationships that come with them. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: The Science of Making Friends Elizabeth Laugeson, 2013-09-10 The groundbreaking book that puts the focus on teens and young adults with social challenges This book offers parents a step-by-step guide to making and keeping friends for teens and young adults with social challenges—such as those diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, ADHD, bipolar, or other conditions. With the book’s concrete rules and steps of social etiquette, parents will be able to assist in improving conversational skills, expanding social opportunities, and developing strategies for handling peer rejection. Each chapter provides helpful overview information for parents; lessons with clear bulleted lists of key rules and steps; and expert advice on how to present the material to a teen or young adult. Throughout the book are role-playing exercises for practicing each skill, along with homework assignments to ensure the newly learned skills can be applied easily to a school, work, or other real life setting. Bonus content shows role-plays of skills covered, demonstrating the right and wrong way to enter conversations, schedule get-togethers, deal with conflict, and much more. PART ONE: GETTING READY Ch. 1: Why Teach Social Skills to Teens and Young Adults? PART TWO: THE SCIENCE OF DEVELOPING AND MAINTAINING FRIENDSHIPS Ch. 2: Finding and Choosing Good Friends Ch. 3: Good Conversations: The Basics Ch. 4: Starting and Entering Conversations Ch. 5: Exiting Conversations Ch. 6: Managing Electronic Communication Ch. 7: Showing Good Sportsmanship Ch. 8: Enjoying Successful Get-Togethers PART THREE: THE SCIENCE OF HANDLING PEER CONFLICT AND REJECTION: HELPFUL STRATEGIES Ch. 9: Dealing With Arguments Ch. 10: Handling Verbal Teasing Ch. 11: Addressing Cyber Bullying Ch. 12: Minimizing Rumors and Gossip Ch. 13: Avoiding Physical Bullying Ch. 14: Changing a Bad Reputation Epilogue: Moving Forward |
| the science of building stronger friendships: Friendfluence Carlin Flora, 2013-01-15 Discover the unexpected ways friends influence our personalities, choices, emotions, and even physical health in this fun and compelling examination of friendship, based on the latest scientific research and ever-relatable anecdotes. Why is dinner with friends often more laughter filled and less fraught than a meal with family? Although some say it’s because we choose our friends, it’s also because we expect less of them than we do of relatives. While we’re busy scrutinizing our romantic relationships and family dramas, our friends are quietly but strongly influencing everything from the articles we read to our weight fluctuations, from our sex lives to our overall happiness levels. Evolutionary psychologists have long theorized that friendship has roots in our early dependence on others for survival. These days, we still cherish friends but tend to undervalue their role in our lives. However, the skills one needs to make good friends are among the very skills that lead to success in life, and scientific research has recently exploded with insights about the meaningful and enduring ways friendships influence us. With people marrying later—and often not at all—and more families having just one child, these relationships may be gaining in importance. The evidence even suggests that at times friends have a greater hand in our development and well-being than do our romantic partners and relatives. Friends see each other through the process of growing up, shape each other’s interests and outlooks, and, painful though it may be, expose each other’s rough edges. Childhood and adolescence, in particular, are marked by the need to create distance between oneself and one’s parents while forging a unique identity within a group of peers, but friends continue to influence us, in ways big and small, straight through old age. Perpetually busy parents who turn to friends—for intellectual stimulation, emotional support, and a good dose of merriment—find a perfect outlet to relieve the pressures of raising children. In the office setting, talking to a friend for just a few minutes can temporarily boost one’s memory. While we romanticize the idea of the lone genius, friendship often spurs creativity in the arts and sciences. And in recent studies, having close friends was found to reduce a person’s risk of death from breast cancer and coronary disease, while having a spouse was not. Friendfluence surveys online-only pals, friend breakups, the power of social networks, envy, peer pressure, the dark side of amicable ties, and many other varieties of friendship. Told with warmth, scientific rigor, and a dash of humor, Friendfluence not only illuminates and interprets the science but draws on clinical psychology and philosophy to help readers evaluate and navigate their own important friendships. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: Friendship Lydia Denworth, 2020-03-19 The phenomenon of friendship is universal. Friends, after all, are the family we choose. But what makes these bonds not just pleasant but essential, and how do they affect our bodies and our minds? In Friendship, science journalist Lydia Denworth takes us in search of the biological, psychological, and evolutionary foundations of this important bond. She finds that the human capacity for friendship is as old as humanity itself, when tribes of people on the African savanna grew large enough for individuals to seek meaningful connection with those outside their immediate families. Lydia meets scientists at the frontiers of brain and genetics research, and discovers that friendship is reflected in our brain waves, our genomes, and our cardiovascular and immune systems; its opposite, loneliness, can kill. With insight and warmth, Lydia weaves past and present, biology and neuroscience, to show how our bodies and minds are designed for friendship, and how this is changing in the age of social media. Blending compelling science, storytelling, and a grand evolutionary perspective, she delineates the essential role that cooperation and companionship play in creating human (and non-human) societies. Friendship illuminates the vital aspects of friendship, both visible and invisible, and offers a refreshingly optimistic vision of human nature. It is a clarion call for putting positive relationships at the centre of our lives. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: Men and Friendship Stuart Miller, 1992 An intimate, revealing look at the rewards of close male friendships. Through his personal quest Miller exposes the underlying codes and dictates that prevent men from sustaining close friendships in adulthood and helps men recapture the male community of close companions left behind in childhood. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: The Psychology of Friendship Mahzad Hojjat, Anne Moyer, 2017 Edited by Mahzad Hojjat and Anne Moyer, The Psychology of Friendship provides a comprehensive overview of the research on these important relationships, which represent one of humanity's closest connections. This book provides a wealth of information on both the beneficial and detrimental aspects of this important bond in everyone's lives. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: The Practice of Groundedness Brad Stulberg, 2021-09-07 Join thousands of readers and learn about a powerful antidote to today’s epidemic of burnout---and a path to achieving success with deeper satisfaction--from the bestselling author of Peak Performance A thoughtful, actionable book for pursuing more excellence with less angst. --Adam Grant, author of Think Again Playing into the always-on, never enough hustle culture ultimately takes a serious toll. While the high of occasional wins can keep you going for a while, angst, restlessness, frayed relationships, exhaustion, and even substance abuse can be the unwanted side effects of an obsession with outward performance. In The Practice of Groundedness, bestselling author Brad Stulberg offers a path for which peak performance and well-being and fulfillment can emerge and prevail for a lifetime. At the heart of this model is groundedness--a practice that values presence over rote productivity, accepts that progress is nonlinear, and prioritizes long-term values and fulfillment over short-term gain. To be grounded is to possess a firm and unwavering foundation, an internal strength and self-confidence that sustains you through ups and downs and from which deep and enduring success can be found. Groundedness does not eliminate ambition and striving; rather, it situates these qualities and channels them in more meaningful ways. Interweaving case studies, modern science, and time-honored lessons from ancient wisdom traditions such as Buddhism, Stoicism, and Taoism, Stulberg teaches readers how to cultivate the habits and practices of a more grounded life. Readers will learn: Why patience is the key to getting where you want to go faster--in work and life--and how to develop it, pushing back against the culture’s misguided obsession with speed and “hacks.” How to utilize the lens of the wise observer in order to overcome delusion and resistance to clearly see and accept where you are—which is the key to more effectively getting where you want to go Why embracing vulnerability is the key to genuine strength and confidence The critical importance of “deep community,” or cultivating a sense of belonging and connection to people, places, and causes. Provocative and practical, The Practice of Groundedness is the necessary corrective to the frenetic pace and endemic burnout resulting from contemporary definitions of success. It offers a new—and better—way. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: Platonic Marisa G. Franco, PhD, 2022-09-06 Instant New York Times bestseller Is understanding the science of attachment the key to building lasting friendships and finding “your people” in an ever-more-fragmented world? How do we make and keep friends in an era of distraction, burnout, and chaos, especially in a society that often prizes romantic love at the expense of other relationships? In Platonic, Dr. Marisa G. Franco unpacks the latest, often counterintuitive findings about the bonds between us—for example, why your friends aren’t texting you back (it’s not because they hate you!), and the myth of “friendships happening organically” (making friends, like cultivating any relationship, requires effort!). As Dr. Franco explains, to make and keep friends you must understand your attachment style—secure, anxious, or avoidant: it is the key to unlocking what’s working (and what’s failing) in your friendships. Making new friends, and deepening longstanding relationships, is possible at any age—in fact, it’s essential. The good news: there are specific, research-based ways to improve the number and quality of your connections using the insights of attachment theory and the latest scientific research on friendship. Platonic provides a clear and actionable blueprint for forging strong, lasting connections with others—and for becoming our happiest, most fulfilled selves in the process. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: Girl Talk Jacqueline Mroz, 2018-11-13 A veteran science reporter's investigation into the fascinating and distinctive nature of women's friendships In Girl Talk, New York Times science reporter Jacqueline Mroz takes on the science of female friendship -- a phenomenon that's as culturally powerful as it is individually mysterious. She examines friendship from a range of angles, from the historical to the experiential, with a scientific analysis that reveals new truths about what leads us to connect and build alliances, and then break up when a friendship no longer serves us. Mroz takes a new look at how friendship has evolved throughout history, showing how friends tend to share more genetic commonalities than strangers, and that the more friends we have, the more empathy and pleasure chemicals are present in our brains. Scientists have also reported that friendship directly influences health and longevity; women with solid, supportive friendships experience fewer fight or flight impulses and stronger heart function, and women without friendships tend to develop medical challenges on par with those associated with smoking and excessive body weight. With intimate reporting and insightful analysis, Mroz reveals new awareness about the impact of women's friendships, and how they shape our culture at large. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: How to Win Friends and Influence People , 2024-02-17 You can go after the job you want…and get it! You can take the job you have…and improve it! You can take any situation you’re in…and make it work for you! Since its release in 1936, How to Win Friends and Influence People has sold more than 30 million copies. Dale Carnegie’s first book is a timeless bestseller, packed with rock-solid advice that has carried thousands of now famous people up the ladder of success in their business and personal lives. As relevant as ever before, Dale Carnegie’s principles endure, and will help you achieve your maximum potential in the complex and competitive modern age. Learn the six ways to make people like you, the twelve ways to win people to your way of thinking, and the nine ways to change people without arousing resentment. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: From Neurons to Neighborhoods National Research Council, Institute of Medicine, Board on Children, Youth, and Families, Committee on Integrating the Science of Early Childhood Development, 2000-11-13 How we raise young children is one of today's most highly personalized and sharply politicized issues, in part because each of us can claim some level of expertise. The debate has intensified as discoveries about our development-in the womb and in the first months and years-have reached the popular media. How can we use our burgeoning knowledge to assure the well-being of all young children, for their own sake as well as for the sake of our nation? Drawing from new findings, this book presents important conclusions about nature-versus-nurture, the impact of being born into a working family, the effect of politics on programs for children, the costs and benefits of intervention, and other issues. The committee issues a series of challenges to decision makers regarding the quality of child care, issues of racial and ethnic diversity, the integration of children's cognitive and emotional development, and more. Authoritative yet accessible, From Neurons to Neighborhoods presents the evidence about brain wiring and how kids learn to speak, think, and regulate their behavior. It examines the effect of the climate-family, child care, community-within which the child grows. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: Friendship and Happiness Melikşah Demir, 2015-04-09 This is the first book that explicitly focuses on the relationships between various types of friendship experiences and happiness. It addresses historical, theoretical, and measurement issues in the study of friendship and happiness (e.g., why friends are important for happiness). In order to achieve a balanced evaluation of this area as a whole, many chapters in the book conclude with a critical appraisal of what is known about the role of friendship in happiness, and provide important directions for future research. Experts from different parts of the world provide in-depth, authoritative reviews on the association between different types of friendship experiences (e.g., friendship quantity, quality) and happiness in different age groups and cultures. An ideal resource for researchers and students of positive psychology, this rich, clear, and up-to-date book serves as an important reference for academicians in related fields of psychology such as cross-cultural, developmental and social. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: Friendship and Technology Tiffany A. Petricini, 2022-03-02 This book explores the nature of technology – participatory media in particular – and its effects on our friendships and our fundamental sense of togetherness. Situating the notion of friendship in the modern era, the author examines the possibilities and challenges of technology on our friendships. Taking a media ecology approach to interpersonal communication, she looks at issues around phenomenology, recognition of friends as unique, hermeneutics in a digital world and mediated communication, social dimensions of time and space, and communication ethics. Examining friendship as a communicative phenomenon and exploring the ways in which it is created, sustained, managed, produced, and reproduced, this book will be relevant to scholars and students of interpersonal communication, mediated communication, communication theory and philosophy, and media ecology. This book is freely available as a downloadable Open Access PDF under a Creative Commons Attribution-Non Commercial-No Derivatives 4.0 license. https://www.taylorfrancis.com/books/mono/10.4324/9781003188810/friendship-technology-tiffany-petricini |
| the science of building stronger friendships: Radical Friendship Kate Johnson, 2021-08-24 A case for friendship as a radical practice of love, courage, and trust, and seven strategies that pave the way for profound social change. Grounded in the Buddha’s teachings on spiritual friendship, Radical Friendship shares seven strategies to help us embody our deepest values in all of our relationships. Drawing on her experiences as a leading meditation teacher, as well as personal stories of growing up multiracial in a racist world, Kate Johnson brings a fresh take on time-honored wisdom to help us connect more authentically with ourselves, with our friends and family, and within our communities. The divides we experience within us and between us are not only a threat to our physical and emotional health—they are also the weapons and the outcomes of structural oppression. But through wise relationships, it is possible to transform the barriers created by societal injustice. Johnson leads us on a journey to becoming better friends by offering ways to show up for our own and each other’s liberation at every stage of a relationship. Each chapter ends with a meditation or reflection practice to help readers cultivate vibrant, harmonious, revolutionary friendships. Radical Friendship offers a path of depth and hope and shows us the importance of working toward collective wellbeing, one relationship at a time. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: Cues Vanessa Van Edwards, 2022-03-01 Wall Street Journal bestseller! For anyone who wants to be heard at work, earn that overdue promotion, or win more clients, deals, and projects, the bestselling author of Captivate, Vanessa Van Edwards, shares her advanced guide to improving professional relationships through the power of cues. What makes someone charismatic? Why do some captivate a room, while others have trouble managing a small meeting? What makes some ideas spread, while other good ones fall by the wayside? If you have ever been interrupted in meetings, overlooked for career opportunities or had your ideas ignored, your cues may be the problem – and the solution. Cues – the tiny signals we send to others 24/7 through our body language, facial expressions, word choice, and vocal inflection – have a massive impact on how we, and our ideas, come across. Our cues can either enhance our message or undermine it. In this entertaining and accessible guide to the hidden language of cues, Vanessa Van Edwards teaches you how to convey power, trust, leadership, likeability, and charisma in every interaction. You’ll learn: • Which body language cues assert, “I’m a leader, and here’s why you should join me.” • Which vocal cues make you sound more confident • Which verbal cues to use in your résumé, branding, and emails to increase trust (and generate excitement about interacting with you.) • Which visual cues you are sending in your profile pictures, clothing, and professional brand. Whether you're pitching an investment, negotiating a job offer, or having a tough conversation with a colleague, cues can help you improve your relationships, express empathy, and create meaningful connections with lasting impact. This is an indispensable guide for entrepreneurs, team leaders, young professionals, and anyone who wants to be more influential. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: How Enemies Become Friends Charles A. Kupchan, 2012-03-25 How nations move from war to peace Is the world destined to suffer endless cycles of conflict and war? Can rival nations become partners and establish a lasting and stable peace? How Enemies Become Friends provides a bold and innovative account of how nations escape geopolitical competition and replace hostility with friendship. Through compelling analysis and rich historical examples that span the globe and range from the thirteenth century through the present, foreign policy expert Charles Kupchan explores how adversaries can transform enmity into amity—and he exposes prevalent myths about the causes of peace. Kupchan contends that diplomatic engagement with rivals, far from being appeasement, is critical to rapprochement between adversaries. Diplomacy, not economic interdependence, is the currency of peace; concessions and strategic accommodation promote the mutual trust needed to build an international society. The nature of regimes matters much less than commonly thought: countries, including the United States, should deal with other states based on their foreign policy behavior rather than on whether they are democracies. Kupchan demonstrates that similar social orders and similar ethnicities, races, or religions help nations achieve stable peace. He considers many historical successes and failures, including the onset of friendship between the United States and Great Britain in the early twentieth century, the Concert of Europe, which preserved peace after 1815 but collapsed following revolutions in 1848, and the remarkably close partnership of the Soviet Union and China in the 1950s, which descended into open rivalry by the 1960s. In a world where conflict among nations seems inescapable, How Enemies Become Friends offers critical insights for building lasting peace. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: We Should Get Together Kat Vellos, 2020-01-04 We Should Get Together is the handbook for anyone who's ready for better friendships, now. Have you recently moved to a new city and are struggling to make friends? Do you find yourself constantly making plans with friends that fall through? Are you more likely to see your friends' social media posts than their faces? You aren't alone. Millions of adults struggle with an uncomfortable and persistent ache: platonic longing, which is the unfulfilled wish for authentic, resilient, close friendships. But it doesn't have to be this way. Making and maintaining friendships during adulthood can be hard--or, with a bit of intention and creativity, joyful. Author Kat Vellos, experience designer and founder of Better Than Small Talk, tackles the four most common challenges of adult friendship: constant relocation, full schedules, the demands of partnership and family, and our culture's declining capacity for compassion and intimacy in the age of social media. Combining expert research and personal stories pulled from conversations with hundreds of adults, We Should Get Together is the modern handbook for making and maintaining stronger friendships. With this book you will learn to: Make and maintain friendships when you (or your friends) keep moving Have deeper and more meaningful conversations Triumph over awkwardness in social situations Become less dependent on your phone Identify and prioritize quality connections Find time for friendship despite your busy calendar Create closer, more durable friendships Full of relatable stories, practical tips, 60 charming illustrations, 55 suggested activities, a book club discussion guide, and 300+ conversation starters, We Should Get Together is the perfect book for anyone who wants to have dedicated, life-enriching friends, and who wants to be that kind of friend, too. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: How to Not Die Alone Logan Ury, 2021-02-02 A “must-read” (The Washington Post) funny and practical guide to help you find, build, and keep the relationship of your dreams. Have you ever looked around and wondered, “Why has everyone found love except me?” You’re not the only one. Great relationships don’t just appear in our lives—they’re the culmination of a series of decisions, including whom to date, how to end it with the wrong person, and when to commit to the right one. But our brains often get in the way. We make poor decisions, which thwart us on our quest to find lasting love. Drawing from years of research, behavioral scientist turned dating coach Logan Ury reveals the hidden forces that cause those mistakes. But awareness on its own doesn’t lead to results. You have to actually change your behavior. Ury shows you how. This “simple-to-use guide” (Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone) focuses on a different decision in each chapter, incorporating insights from behavioral science, original research, and real-life stories. You’ll learn: -What’s holding you back in dating (and how to break the pattern) -What really matters in a long-term partner (and what really doesn’t) -How to overcome the perils of online dating (and make the apps work for you) -How to meet more people in real life (while doing activities you love) -How to make dates fun again (so they stop feeling like job interviews) -Why “the spark” is a myth (but you’ll find love anyway) This “data-driven” (Time), step-by-step guide to relationships, complete with hands-on exercises, is designed to transform your life. How to Not Die Alone will help you find, build, and keep the relationship of your dreams. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: How to Be Yourself Ellen Hendriksen, 2018-03-13 Picking up where Quiet ended, How to Be Yourself is the best book you’ll ever read about how to conquer social anxiety. “This book is also a groundbreaking road map to finally being your true, authentic self.” —Susan Cain, New York Times, USA Today and nationally bestselling author of Quiet Up to 40% of people consider themselves shy. You might say you’re introverted or awkward, or that you're fine around friends but just can't speak up in a meeting or at a party. Maybe you're usually confident but have recently moved or started a new job, only to feel isolated and unsure. If you get nervous in social situations—meeting your partner's friends, public speaking, standing awkwardly in the elevator with your boss—you've probably been told, “Just be yourself!” But that's easier said than done—especially if you're prone to social anxiety. Weaving together cutting-edge science, concrete tips, and the compelling stories of real people who have risen above their social anxiety, Dr. Ellen Hendriksen proposes a groundbreaking idea: you already have everything you need to succeed in any unfamiliar social situation. As someone who lives with social anxiety, Dr. Hendriksen has devoted her career to helping her clients overcome the same obstacles she has. With familiarity, humor, and authority, Dr. Hendriksen takes the reader through the roots of social anxiety and why it endures, how we can rewire our brains through our behavior, and—at long last—exactly how to quiet your Inner Critic, the pesky voice that whispers, Everyone will judge you. Using her techniques to develop confidence, think through the buzz of anxiety, and feel comfortable in any situation, you can finally be your true, authentic self. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: NOT "Just Friends" Shirley Glass, 2007-11-01 One of the world’s leading experts on infidelity provides a step-by-step guide through the process of infidelity—from suspicion and revelation to healing, and provides profound, practical guidance to prevent infidelity and, if it happens, recover and heal from it. You’re right to be cautious when you hear these words: “I’m telling you, we’re just friends.” Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: Handbook of Peer Interactions, Relationships, and Groups Kenneth H. Rubin, William M. Bukowski, Brett Laursen, 2011-01-31 This comprehensive, authoritative handbook covers the breadth of theories, methods, and empirically based findings on the ways in which children and adolescents contribute to one another's development. Leading researchers review what is known about the dynamics of peer interactions and relationships from infancy through adolescence. Topics include methods of assessing friendship and peer networks; early romantic relationships; individual differences and contextual factors in children's social and emotional competencies and behaviors; group dynamics; and the impact of peer relations on achievement, social adaptation, and mental health. Salient issues in intervention and prevention are also addressed. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: Friends Robin Dunbar, 2021-03-04 'Fascinating...In essence, the number and quality of our friendships may have a bigger influence on our happiness, health and mortality risk than anything else in life save for giving up smoking' Guardian, Book of the Day Friends matter to us, and they matter more than we think. The single most surprising fact to emerge out of the medical literature over the last decade or so has been that the number and quality of the friendships we have has a bigger influence on our happiness, health and even mortality risk than anything else except giving up smoking. Robin Dunbar is the world-renowned psychologist and author who famously discovered Dunbar's number: how our capacity for friendship is limited to around 150 people. In Friends, he looks at friendship in the round, at the way different types of friendship and family relationships intersect, or at the complex of psychological and behavioural mechanisms that underpin friendships and make them possible - and just how complicated the business of making and keeping friends actually is. Mixing insights from scientific research with first person experiences and culture, Friends explores and integrates knowledge from disciplines ranging from psychology and anthropology to neuroscience and genetics in a single magical weave that allows us to peer into the incredible complexity of the social world in which we are all so deeply embedded. Working at the coalface of the subject at both research and personal levels, Robin Dunbar has written the definitive book on how and why we are friends. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: How to Break Up with Your Friends Erin Falconer, 2022-01-18 Create space for meaningful connections and set healthy boundaries with this much-needed guide to modern-day friendship. Friends hold an especially valuable role for women—few relationships have such power to fuel us and inspire our joy. Yet even though we pride ourselves on our large networks, we tend to be afraid of rocking the boat and asking for what we really need. As a result, we end up accepting mediocrity in ourselves and our friendships far too often. But does it really have to be this way? In How to Break Up with Your Friends, celebrated life mentor Erin Falconer provides a refreshing guide to modern-day friendships—along with deeper principles, assessments, and practices for nurturing them. “This book is about so much more than going through your contact list with a machete,” writes Erin. “Yes, you’ll learn how to detox yourself from friendships that no longer nourish you, but you’ll also explore the astounding importance of modern friendships and how to be a truly great friend yourself.” With clear-eyed guidance and a good dose of humor, Erin will help you: Take stock of those currently in your life so you can see exactly how you and your friends are serving each otherUnderstand how your earliest friendships impact your current relationshipsExplore the importance of having healthy friendships—including the many ways we’re influenced by our friend groupsKnow the main types of friendships we form, the roles they play in our lives, and how to deepen the most essential onesRecognize the signs you’re in a toxic friendship and stop fearing constructive confrontationRupture and repair—be ready when a valuable friendship hits the rocksLearn how to make new friends as an adultHave the courageous conversations needed when it’s time to “break up” with others With a wealth of revelations and tools—including the Six Pillars of Friendship, the Friendship Diagnosis, and sample scripts to help facilitate the hard conversations—How to Break Up with Your Friends is the relationship book you didn’t know you needed. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: The Relationship Alphabet Zach Brittle, 2015-07-07 The Relationship Alphabet is an alphabetical survey of relationship topics based on the research of Dr. John Gottman. The book includes insights on communication, conflict management and friendship building. Practical discussion questions make it easy to turn ideas into action. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: Connecting in College Janice M. McCabe, 2016-11-08 The book provides a treatment of college students' friendships that is long overdue. Students, parents, and anyone concerned with maximizing student success will learn much about how friendship networks matter for students' lives in college and beyond |
| the science of building stronger friendships: The Girls from Ames Jeffrey Zaslow, 2010-04-06 The instant New York Times bestseller, now in paperback: a moving tribute to female friendships, with the inspiring story of eleven girls and the ten women they became, from the coauthor of the million-copy bestseller The Last Lecture As children, they formed a special bond, growing up in the small town of Ames, Iowa. As young women, they moved to eighth different states, yet they managed to maintain an extraordinary friendship that would carry them through college and careers, marriage and motherhood, dating and divorce, the death of a child, and the mysterious death of the eleventh member of their group. Capturing their remarkable story, The Girls from Ames is a testament to the enduring, deep bonds of women as they experience life's challenges, and the power of friendship to overcome even the most daunting odds. The girls, now in their forties, have a lifetime of memories in common, some evocative of their generation and some that will resonate with any woman who has ever had a friend. The Girls from Ames demonstrates how close female relationships can shape every aspect of women's lives-their sense of themselves, their choice of men, their need for validation, their relationships with their mothers, their dreams for their daughters-and reveals how such friendships thrive, rewarding those who have committed to them. With both universal events and deeply personal moments, it's a book that every woman will relate to and be inspired by. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: Big Friendship Aminatou Sow, Ann Friedman, 2020-07-14 A close friendship is one of the most influential and important relationships a human life can contain. Anyone will tell you that! But for all the rosy sentiments surrounding friendship, most people don’t talk much about what it really takes to stay close for the long haul. Now two friends, Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman, tell the story of their equally messy and life-affirming Big Friendship in this honest and hilarious book that chronicles their first decade in one another’s lives. As the hosts of the hit podcast Call Your Girlfriend, they’ve become known for frank and intimate conversations. In this book, they bring that energy to their own friendship—its joys and its pitfalls. Aminatou and Ann define Big Friendship as a strong, significant bond that transcends life phases, geographical locations, and emotional shifts. And they should know: the two have had moments of charmed bliss and deep frustration, of profound connection and gut-wrenching alienation. They have weathered life-threatening health scares, getting fired from their dream jobs, and one unfortunate Thanksgiving dinner eaten in a car in a parking lot in Rancho Cucamonga. Through interviews with friends and experts, they have come to understand that their struggles are not unique. And that the most important part of a Big Friendship is making the decision to invest in one another again and again. An inspiring and entertaining testament to the power of society’s most underappreciated relationship, Big Friendship will invite you to think about how your own bonds are formed, challenged, and preserved. It is a call to value your friendships in all of their complexity. Actively choose them. And, sometimes, fight for them. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: Social Chemistry Marissa King, 2021-01-05 One of 2021's Most Highly Anticipated New Books—Newsweek One of The 20 Leadership Books to Read in 2020—Adam Grant One of The Best New Wellness Books Hitting Shelves in January 2021—Shape.com A Top Business Book for January 2021—Financial Times A Next Big Idea Club Nominee Social Chemistry will utterly transform the way you think about “networking.” Understanding the contours of your social network can dramatically enhance personal relationships, work life, and even your global impact. Are you an Expansionist, a Broker, or a Convener? The answer matters more than you think. . . . Yale professor Marissa King shows how anyone can build more meaningful and productive relationships based on insights from neuroscience, psychology, and network analytics. Conventional wisdom says it's the size of your network that matters, but social science research has proven there is more to it. King explains that the quality and structure of our relationships has the greatest impact on our personal and professional lives. As she shows, there are three basic types of networks, so readers can see the role they are already playing: Expansionist, Broker, or Convener. This network decoder enables readers to own their network style and modify it for better alignment with their life plans and values. High-quality connections in your social network strongly predict cognitive functioning, emotional resilience, and satisfaction at work. A well-structured network is likely to boost the quality of your ideas, as well as your pay. Beyond the office, social connections are the lifeblood of our health and happiness. The compiled results from dozens of previous studies found that our social relationships have an effect on our likelihood of dying prematurely—equivalent to obesity or smoking. Rich stories of Expansionists like Vernon Jordan, Brokers like Yo-Yo Ma, and Conveners like Anna Wintour, as well as personal experiences from King's own world of connections, inform this warm, engaging, revelatory investigation into some of the most consequential decisions we can make about the trajectory of our lives. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: Friend & Foe Adam Galinsky, Maurice Schweitzer, 2015-09-29 What does it take to succeed? This question has fueled a long-running debate. Some have argued that humans are fundamentally competitive, and that pursuing self-interest is the best way to get ahead. Others claim that humans are born to cooperate and that we are most successful when we collaborate with others. In FRIEND AND FOE, researchers Galinsky and Schweitzer explain why this debate misses the mark. Rather than being hardwired to compete or cooperate, we have evolved to do both. In every relationship, from co-workers to friends to spouses to siblings we are both friends and foes. It is only by learning how to strike the right balance between these two forces that we can improve our long-term relationships and get more of what we want. Here, Galinsky and Schweitzer draw on original, cutting edge research from their own labs and from across the social sciences as well as vivid real-world examples to show how to maximize success in work and in life by deftly navigating the tension between cooperation and competition. They offer insights and advice ranging from: how to gain power and keep it, how to build trust and repair trust once it’s broken, how to diffuse workplace conflict and bias, how to find the right comparisons to motivate us and make us happier, and how to succeed in negotiations – ensuring that we achieve our own goals and satisfy those of our counterparts. Along the way, they pose and offer surprising answers to a number of perplexing puzzles: when does too much talent undermine success; why can acting less competently gain you status and authority, where do many gender differences in the workplace really come from, how can you use deception to build trust, and why do you want to go last on American Idol and in many interview situations, but make the first offer when negotiating the sale of a new car. We perform at our very best when we hold cooperation and competition in the right balance. This book is a guide for navigating our social and professional worlds by learning when to cooperate as a friend and when to compete as a foe—and how to be better at both. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: We Have Never Been Modern Bruno Latour, 2012-10-01 With the rise of science, we moderns believe, the world changed irrevocably, separating us forever from our primitive, premodern ancestors. But if we were to let go of this fond conviction, Bruno Latour asks, what would the world look like? His book, an anthropology of science, shows us how much of modernity is actually a matter of faith. What does it mean to be modern? What difference does the scientific method make? The difference, Latour explains, is in our careful distinctions between nature and society, between human and thing, distinctions that our benighted ancestors, in their world of alchemy, astrology, and phrenology, never made. But alongside this purifying practice that defines modernity, there exists another seemingly contrary one: the construction of systems that mix politics, science, technology, and nature. The ozone debate is such a hybrid, in Latour’s analysis, as are global warming, deforestation, even the idea of black holes. As these hybrids proliferate, the prospect of keeping nature and culture in their separate mental chambers becomes overwhelming—and rather than try, Latour suggests, we should rethink our distinctions, rethink the definition and constitution of modernity itself. His book offers a new explanation of science that finally recognizes the connections between nature and culture—and so, between our culture and others, past and present. Nothing short of a reworking of our mental landscape, We Have Never Been Modern blurs the boundaries among science, the humanities, and the social sciences to enhance understanding on all sides. A summation of the work of one of the most influential and provocative interpreters of science, it aims at saving what is good and valuable in modernity and replacing the rest with a broader, fairer, and finer sense of possibility. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: Stop Being Lonely Kira Asatryan, 2016-01-15 Loneliness Has an Antidote: The Feeling of Closeness Loneliness isn’t something that happens only when we are physically alone. It can also happen when we are with people. Online friends, followers, or “likers” don’t necessarily add up to much when you crave fulfilling interaction, and satisfying, long-term relationships are not a mystery to be left up to chance (or technology). The good news is that, according to relationship coach Kira Asatryan, loneliness has a reliable antidote: the feeling of closeness. We can and should cultivate closeness in our relationships using the steps outlined in this book: knowing, caring, and mastering closeness. Whether with romantic partners, friends, family members, or business colleagues, these techniques will help you establish true closeness with others. The simple and straightforward actions Asatryan presents in this wonderfully practical book will guide you toward better relationships and less loneliness in all social contexts. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: Brown Girls Daphne Palasi Andreades, 2022-01-04 NEW YORK TIMES EDITORS’ CHOICE • A “boisterous and infectious debut novel” (The Guardian) about a group of friends and their immigrant families from Queens, New York—a tenderly observed, fiercely poetic love letter to a modern generation of brown girls. “An acute study of those tender moments of becoming, this is an ode to girlhood, inheritance, and the good trouble the body yields.”—Raven Leilani, author of Luster FINALIST: The New American Voices Award, The Carol Shields Prize for Fiction, The VCU Cabell First Novelist Award, The New American Voices Award, The Center for Fiction First Novel Prize ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR: PopSugar, Kirkus Reviews If you really want to know, we are the color of 7-Eleven root beer. The color of sand at Rockaway Beach when it blisters the bottoms of our feet. Color of soil . . . Welcome to Queens, New York, where streets echo with languages from all over the globe, subways rumble above dollar stores, trees bloom and topple over sidewalks, and the funky scent of the Atlantic Ocean wafts in from Rockaway Beach. Within one of New York City’s most vibrant and eclectic boroughs, young women of color like Nadira, Gabby, Naz, Trish, Angelique, and countless others, attempt to reconcile their immigrant backgrounds with the American culture in which they come of age. Here, they become friends for life—or so they vow. Exuberant and wild, together they roam The City That Never Sleeps, sing Mariah Carey at the tops of their lungs, yearn for crushes who pay them no mind—and break the hearts of those who do—all while trying to heed their mothers’ commands to be obedient daughters. But as they age, their paths diverge and rifts form between them, as some choose to remain on familiar streets, while others find themselves ascending in the world, beckoned by existences foreign and seemingly at odds with their humble roots. A blazingly original debut novel told by a chorus of unforgettable voices, Brown Girls illustrates a collective portrait of childhood, adulthood, and beyond, and is a striking exploration of female friendship, a powerful depiction of women of color attempting to forge their place in the world today. For even as the conflicting desires of ambition and loyalty, freedom and commitment, adventure and stability risk dividing them, it is to one another—and to Queens—that the girls ultimately return. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: The Great Mental Models, Volume 1 Shane Parrish, Rhiannon Beaubien, 2024-10-15 Discover the essential thinking tools you’ve been missing with The Great Mental Models series by Shane Parrish, New York Times bestselling author and the mind behind the acclaimed Farnam Street blog and “The Knowledge Project” podcast. This first book in the series is your guide to learning the crucial thinking tools nobody ever taught you. Time and time again, great thinkers such as Charlie Munger and Warren Buffett have credited their success to mental models–representations of how something works that can scale onto other fields. Mastering a small number of mental models enables you to rapidly grasp new information, identify patterns others miss, and avoid the common mistakes that hold people back. The Great Mental Models: Volume 1, General Thinking Concepts shows you how making a few tiny changes in the way you think can deliver big results. Drawing on examples from history, business, art, and science, this book details nine of the most versatile, all-purpose mental models you can use right away to improve your decision making and productivity. This book will teach you how to: Avoid blind spots when looking at problems. Find non-obvious solutions. Anticipate and achieve desired outcomes. Play to your strengths, avoid your weaknesses, … and more. The Great Mental Models series demystifies once elusive concepts and illuminates rich knowledge that traditional education overlooks. This series is the most comprehensive and accessible guide on using mental models to better understand our world, solve problems, and gain an advantage. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: The Gratitude Project Jeremy Adam Smith, Kira M. Newman, Jason Marsh, Dacher Keltner, 2020-09-01 In our fractured, “me-first” world, the science and practice of thankfulness could be just the antidote we need. Gratitude is powerful: not only does it feel good, it’s also been proven to increase our well-being in myriad ways. The result of a multiyear collaboration between the Greater Good Science Center and Robert Emmons of the University of California, Davis, The Gratitude Project explores gratitude’s deep roots in human psychology—how it evolved and how it affects our brain—as well as the transformative impact it has on creating a meaningful life and a better world. With essays based on new findings from this original research and written by renowned positive psychologists and public figures, this important book delves deeply into the neuroscience and psychology of gratitude, and explores how thankfulness can be developed and applied, both personally and in communities large and small, for the benefit of all. With contributions from luminaries such as Sonja Lyubomirsky, W. Kamau Bell, Arianna Huffington, and many more, this edited volume offers more than just platitudes—it offers a blueprint for a new and better world. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: Best Friends Forever Irene S. Levine, 2009-09-01 Men, jobs, children, personal crises, irreconcilable social gaps—these are just a few of the strange and confusing reasons which may cause a female friendship to end. No matter the cause, the breakup of a female friendship leaves a woman devastated and asking herself difficult questions. Was someone to blame? Is the friendship worth fighting for? How can I prevent this from ever happening again? Even more upsetting is that women suffering from broken friendships often have no one to confide in; while the loss of a romantic partner garners sympathy among peers, discussing the loss of a platonic friend is often impossible without making other friends jealous or uncomfortable. Written by journalist and psychologist Irene Levine, Ph.D., Best Friends Forever is an uplifting and heroically honest book for abandoned friends seeking solace. Dr. Levine draws from the personal testimonials of thousands of women to provide anecdotes and groundbreaking solutions to these complicated situations. Offering tools for personal assessment, case stories, and actionable advice for saving, ending, or re-evaluating a relationship, Levine shows that breakups are sometimes inevitable. Although the dissolution of female friendships can be difficult, Best Friends Forever teaches women to stop blaming themselves and probing the wounds, and that the sad experience of a broken friendship can make them stronger people, and more able to handle their relationships with wisdom. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: The Midnight Library: A GMA Book Club Pick Matt Haig, 2023-05-09 The #1 New York Times bestselling WORLDWIDE phenomenon Winner of the Goodreads Choice Award for Fiction | A Good Morning America Book Club Pick | Independent (London) Ten Best Books of the Year A feel-good book guaranteed to lift your spirits.—The Washington Post The dazzling reader-favorite about the choices that go into a life well lived, from the acclaimed author of How To Stop Time and The Comfort Book. Don’t miss Matt Haig’s latest instant New York Times besteller, The Life Impossible, available now Somewhere out beyond the edge of the universe there is a library that contains an infinite number of books, each one the story of another reality. One tells the story of your life as it is, along with another book for the other life you could have lived if you had made a different choice at any point in your life. While we all wonder how our lives might have been, what if you had the chance to go to the library and see for yourself? Would any of these other lives truly be better? In The Midnight Library, Matt Haig's enchanting blockbuster novel, Nora Seed finds herself faced with this decision. Faced with the possibility of changing her life for a new one, following a different career, undoing old breakups, realizing her dreams of becoming a glaciologist; she must search within herself as she travels through the Midnight Library to decide what is truly fulfilling in life, and what makes it worth living in the first place. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: Snail Crossing Corey R. Tabor, 2020-02 A determined snail. A plump cabbage. A truly epic journey . . . In a book as cheerful and charming as Snail himself, Corey Tabor tells a winning tale of a slow but steady snail, whose determination and kindness bring him the best reward of all: friendship. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: Wellbeing: The Five Essential Elements Tom Rath, James K. Harter, 2010-05-04 Shows the interconnections among the elements of well-being, how they cannot be considered independently, and provides readers with a research-based approach to improving all aspects of their lives. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: Understanding Peer Influence in Children and Adolescents Mitchell J. Prinstein, Kenneth A. Dodge, 2008-05-13 Scientists, educators, and parents of teens have long recognized the potency of peer influences on children and youth, but until recently, questions of how and why adolescents emulate their peers were largely overlooked. This book presents a comprehensive framework for understanding the processes by which peers shape each other's attitudes and behavior, and explores implications for intervention and prevention. Leading authorities share compelling findings on such topics as how drug use, risky sexual behavior, and other deviant behaviors catch on among certain peer groups or cliques; the social, cognitive, developmental, and contextual factors that strengthen or weaken the power of peer influence; and the nature of positive peer influences and how to support them. |
| the science of building stronger friendships: Anam Cara John O'Donohue, 2009-03-17 Anam Cara is a rare synthesis of philosophy, poetry, and spirituality. This work will have a powerful and life-transforming experience for those who read it. —Deepak Chopra John O'Donohue, poet, philosopher, and scholar, guides you through the spiritual landscape of the Irish imagination. In Anam Cara, Gaelic for soul friend, the ancient teachings, stories, and blessings of Celtic wisdom provide such profound insights on the universal themes of friendship, solitude, love, and death as: Light is generous The human heart is never completely born Love as ancient recognition The body is the angel of the soul Solitude is luminous Beauty likes neglected places The passionate heart never ages To be natural is to be holy Silence is the sister of the divine Death as an invitation to freedom |
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