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the babylon bee guide to wokeness: The Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness Babylon Bee, 2021-11-02 In this tongue-in-cheek guide to the left's intersectional insanity, the writers of the satirical social media site The Babylon Bee teach examine: how to choose pronouns; how to blame everyone else for your problems; how to show the world how wonderful you are; the art of virtue-signaling; the basics of race, gender, and intersectionality; the truth about American history; problematic books and movies; how to tell if a baby is racist; and more.--Publisher's description. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: The Babylon Bee Guide to Democracy Babylon Bee, 2022-09-06 From the authors of the bestselling Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness, and the minds behind the popular website The Babylon Bee comes a tongue-in-cheek guide to Democracy where you'll learn how to rig elections, bribe politicians, and crush your political enemies for good. In The Babylon Bee Guide to Democracy, America's favorite satirists take you into a world you might have thought was beyond parody--politics. From closed-door meetings of bureaucrats deciding the fates of millions to preposterous lies from the campaign trail, The Bee skewers our political overlords with matchless wit. In this visual guide, you’ll learn how to rig an election, how to stage an insurrection, which political party you should join, and more--everything you need to fully participate in the worst political system of all time (except for all the others). |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: The Postmodern Pilgrim's Progress Kyle Mann, Joel Berry, 2022-06-07 From the editor-in-chief and managing editor of the Babylon Bee! A millenial seeker travels through a twenty-first century take on The Pilgrims's Progress with allegorical versions of all our modern vices tempting him along the way—as well as a few timeless personified virtues that just might see him through. Biting satire and uncommon wisdom from the creators of the internet's most influential comedy site, and an author of national bestsellerThe Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness! Ryan Fleming is a young agnostic reeling from his brother’s death. Though he is deeply angry with God, he makes good on a promise he made to his brother in the final moments of his life: to visit a church at least once. But shortly after his arrival, the slick megachurch’s shoddily installed video projector falls on his head—sending Ryan through a wormhole into another world. After a narrow escape from the City of Destruction, where the comfortably numb townspeople are oblivious to the fire and brimstone falling like bombs in their midst and destroying their homes, Ryan finds himself on a quest: To make it back to his own universe, he must partner with a woman named Faith to awaken a long-sleeping King—the World-Maker who can make all things new. Replete with characters ripped straight from the twenty-first century American church—including Radical, Mr. Satan, the Smiling Preacher, and others—this sometimes-humorous, always-insightful trek parallels Christian’s fictional journey in Pilgrim’s Progress. Prepare to laugh, cry, cringe, feel convicted, and ultimately be changed by the time the story ends. The Postmodern Pilgrim’s Progress is brought to you by Kyle Mann and Joel Berry, the two comedic minds behind The Babylon Bee—which, with 250,000 newsletter subscribers and more than fifteen million page views per month, is the most popular satirical news site on the planet. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: How to Be a Perfect Christian The Babylon Bee, 2018-05-01 With a biting, satirical style reminiscent of The Onion, How to Be a Perfect Christian takes a humorous look at the quirks of cultural Christianity while subtly challenging the reader to search for more than a cultural faith. Written in the trademark style of The Babylon Bee, this book humorously satirizes cultural Christianity while peppering in subtle challenges to the reader. Through humor and sarcasm (and a handy meter to rank your holiness as you progress through the book), readers will be called to find a more biblical understanding of the Christian faith, all while poking fun at the quirks of the modern, American Christian community. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: The Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness Babylon Bee, LLC, 2022 Wokeness isn't a private religion you can keep to yourself. Once you see the world through woke eyes, you'll never be the same, and you'll never be able to stop telling your friends about your new beliefs. Kind of like when you join CrossFit or become vegan-or get an air fryer.To show the world you're a good person-and also to avoid getting cancelled and having your life ruined by a Twitter mob-you need to get WOKE.In The Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness, the writers of satirical sensation The Babylon Bee tell you how to choose your pronouns, blame everyone else for your problems, and show the world how virtuous you are with virtue-signalling profile pictures and stunning and brave hashtags.A tongue-in-cheek guide to the far Left's obsession with intersectional insanity, The Babylon Bee Guide to Wokeness will help you laugh at the state of our culture so you don't cry. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: Mom Jokes Lisa Beth Johnson, Phoebe Bottoms, 2021-03-09 The authors of Okay, Boomer deliver much-needed one-liners, puns, lists, and real-life tweets to lighten the load—and life—of moms everywhere. Moms need their laughs just as much as anyone, especially when they have to relieve the stress of cranky kids, oblivious spouses, and the challenges of balancing work and family while keeping it all together—at least on the surface! Mom Jokes is a collection of more than 300 snarky, sassy, and witty jokes for moms, such as . . . Every Mother’s Day my children make me breakfast in bed. Good thing I taught them how to make bottomless mimosas. What’s the difference between me when I’m nine months pregnant and a supermodel? Nothing, because my husband values his life. The good thing about going back to work after having kids is that you have your mom boss voice perfected. I thought my seven-year-old was mature enough to feed our goldfish—and he is—he just isn’t mature enough to know they don’t eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. From family life and the daily grind to food and entertainment, this collection of jokes nails the ups and downs of motherhood, giving moms light-hearted moments to get through the heavy lifting. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: Them Before Us Katy Faust, Stacy Manning, 2021-02-23 Them Before Us has flipped the script on adult-centric attitudes toward marriage, parenthood, and reproductive technologies by framing these issues around a child’s right to be raised by both their mother and father. Set against a backdrop of sound research, the compelling stories throughout each chapter confirm that a child’s mental, physical, and emotional well-being depends on being loved by the two people responsible for their existence. It’s a paradigm shift that will impact the personal and the political, and reframe every marriage and family conversation across the globe. Them Before Us dispels many prevalent, harmful myths concerning children’s rights, such as: • Kids need only love and safety—moms and dads are optional. • Love makes a family—biology is irrelevant. • Marriage is about adults—it has nothing to do with kids. • Children are resilient and will “get over” divorce. • Studies show “no difference” in outcomes for kids with same-sex parents. • Sperm and egg donor kids are fortunate because they are so wanted. • Surrogacy is a great way to help wannabe parents have a baby. • Reproductive technologies are just like adoption. Are you tired of a culture that views adults as victims in family matters, when it’s clear that kids are the ones who truly pay the price? If so, we are your people, and this is your movement. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: Woke Titania McGrath, 2019-03-07 'The book everyone's talking about' The Times (Book of the Year) 'Titania McGrath is a genius' Spectator (Book of the Year) 'Beautiful classic satire' Ricky Gervais 'Hilarious . . . the most artful form of subtle parody' Joe Rogan 'Just as Bridget Jones was the embodiment of the anxiety-ridden Nineties feminist, a creation whose diary entries encapsulated all our hopes, fears and failures, so Titania McGrath is her millennial successor, a girl every bit as lost and confused, every bit as accurately observed - and equally, catastrophically, hilarious.' Sarah Vine, Daily Mail In Woke, Titania McGrath demonstrates how everybody can play their part in the pursuit of social justice. As a millennial icon on the forefront of online activism, Titania is uniquely placed to guide her readers through the often bewildering array of terminology and concepts that constitute twenty-first-century 'wokeness'. These new ideas often leave the general public bemused, particularly if they don't read the Guardian. Being woke is actually much easier than people think. As Titania demonstrates, anyone can be an activist. By simply adding a rainbow flag to your Facebook profile, or calling out an elderly person who doesn't understand what 'non-binary' means, you can change the world for the better. Indeed, social media has now made it possible to show how virtuous you are without having to do anything at all. Timely and indispensable, Titania's step-by-step guide will help you to become the woke person you need to be in an increasingly progressive world. In a non-patronising manner, Titania will explain why you are wrong about everything and how to become more like her. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: Our Broken Elections John Fund, Hans von Spakovsky, 2021-11-02 Behind the deeply contentious 2020 election stands a real story of a broken election process. Election fraud that alters election outcomes and dilutes legitimate votes occurs all too often, as is the bungling of election bureaucrats. Our election process is full of vulnerabilities that can be — and are — taken advantage of, raising questions about, and damaging public confidence in, the legitimacy of the outcome of elections. This book explores the reality of the fraud and bureaucratic errors and mistakes that should concern all Americans and offers recommendations and solutions to fix those problems. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: Thank You Notes Jimmy Fallon, the Writers of Late Night, 2011-05-23 Jimmy Fallon is very thankful. And in this first book to come from his TV show, he expresses his gratitude for everything from the light bulb he's too lazy to replace to the F12 button on his computer's keyboard. He thanks microbreweries for making his alcoholism seem like a neat hobby. He thanks the name Lloyd for having two L's. Otherwise it would just sound like Loyd. He thanks the slow-moving family walking in front of him on the sidewalk. Without this barricade of idiots, he might never have been forced to walk in the street and risk getting hit by a car in order to get around them. He's thankful to you, the person reading this right now. It means you're considering buying this book. You should do it. You will be thankful that you did. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: Countdown to Socialism Devin Nunes, 2020-09-15 The Democratic Party has changed beyond recognition. Once the party of anti-communism and tax-cutting under President Kennedy, it is now dominated by a surging socialist movement and led by a presidential candidate who vows to “transform” America. On a near-daily basis, the Democrats are issuing radical proposals to socialize medicine, industry, and higher education. So how can the Democrats win elections when their agenda is so far to the left of the American people? That’s easy—it’s because the means of public debate are being manipulated. In Countdown to Socialism, Congressman Devin Nunes exposes the nexus between the Democratic Party, the mainstream media, and the social media corporations. These three entities cooperate to blast out the Democrats’ message and downplay their extremism while suppressing and censoring conservative points of view. Tens of millions of Americans are only seeing one side of the debate. The information they get from newspapers and social media is not “news”—it’s contrived content designed to help one political party and punish its opponents. In the run-up to the most consequential election of our lifetime, read this book to learn how your information is being skewed and regulated to force America onto the path to socialism. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: I Bitch, Therefore I Am Ed Polish, Darren Wotz, 2007 A third volume in the popular series of humor collections brings together sixty full-color advertising images from the 1940s through the 1960s with hilarious sayings that address such topics as love, motherhood, orgasms, politics, menopause, religion, and chocolate, among other topics. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: The Unelected James R. Copland, 2020-09-15 America is highly polarized around elections, but unelected actors make many of the decisions that affect our lives. In this lucid history, James R. Copland explains how unaccountable agents have taken over much of the U.S. government apparatus. Congress has largely abdicated its authority. “Independent” administrative agencies churn out thousands of new regulations every year. Courts have enabled these rulemakers to expand their powers beyond those authorized by law—and have constrained executive efforts to rein in the bureaucratic behemoth. No ordinary citizen can know what is legal and what is not. There are some 300,000 federal crimes, 98 percent of which were created by administrative action. The proliferation of rules gives enormous discretion to unelected enforcers, and the severity of sanctions can be ruinous to citizens who unwittingly violate a regulation. Outside the bureaucracy, private attorneys regulate our conduct through lawsuits. Most of the legal theories underlying these suits were never voted upon by our elected representatives. A combination of historical accident, decisions by judges and law professors, and self-interested advocacy by litigators has built an onerous and expensive legal regime. Finally, state and local officials may be accountable to their own voters, but some reach further afield, pursuing agendas to dictate the terms of national commerce. These new antifederalists are subjecting the citizens of Wyoming and Mississippi to the whims of the electorates of New York and San Francisco—contrary to the constitutional design. In these ways, the unelected have assumed substantial control of the American republic, upended the rule of law, given the United States the world’s costliest legal system, and inverted the Constitution’s federalism. Copland caps off his account with ideas for charting a corrective course back to democratic accountability. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: The Great U.S.-China Tech War Gordon G. Chang, 2020-03-31 The United States and China are locked in a “cold tech war,” and the winner will end up dominating the twenty-first century. Beijing was not considered a tech contender a decade ago. Now, some call it a leader. America is already behind in critical areas. It is no surprise how Chinese leaders made their regime a tech powerhouse. They first developed and then implemented multiyear plans and projects, adopting a determined, methodical, and disciplined approach. As a result, China’s political leaders and their army of technocrats could soon possess the technologies of tomorrow. America can still catch up. Unfortunately, Americans, focused on other matters, are not meeting the challenges China presents. A whole-of-society mobilization will be necessary for the U.S. to regain what it once had: control of cutting-edge technologies. This is how America got to the moon, and this is the key to winning this century. Americans may not like the fact that they’re once again in a Cold War–type struggle, but they will either adjust to that reality or get left behind. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: Chesterton's Gateway Ethan Nicolle, 2021-07-10 |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: Half Empty David Rakoff, 2011-09-06 In this deeply smart and sneakily poignant collection of essays, the bestselling author of Fraud and Don’t Get Too Comfortable makes an inspired case for always assuming the worst—because then you’ll never be disappointed. Whether he’s taking on pop culture phenomena with Oscar Wilde-worthy wit or dealing with personal tragedy, Rakoff’s sharp observations and humorist’s flair for the absurd will have you positively reveling in the untapped power of negativity. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: The Grace Message Andrew Farley, 2022-03-08 What Is God’s Grace—and What Does It Mean for You? Grace. It’s a word we’ve heard since the very first step in our faith journey—but do we really believe in God’s grace? Grace raises eyebrows. It begs questions. Grace turns everything upside down. The Grace Message invites you to discover the best flavor of Christianity and celebrate the good news of the Gospel to the fullest. Here, you’ll learn: • how to abandon rule-based living and stop trying to measure up • why your new identity in Jesus matters more than you can imagine • how you can now enjoy God’s New Covenant way of grace Bestselling author and radio host Andrew Farley’s no-nonsense straight talk will awaken you to a revolutionary perspective every healthy Christian should have. Life is too short to miss out on God’s best—and what you don’t know can hinder you from experiencing Jesus in every area of your life. So if you’ve been weighed down by ruthless religion, or you’ve been searching for that high-octane version of the Gospel that you know must be out there somewhere, here it is. This thought-provoking book will challenge you to dismiss the lies you’ve believed and to make up your own mind about how big God’s grace really is. “Andrew Farley shows why the good news is actually great news. This extraordinary, battle-tested message of hope and freedom has a proven track record of transforming lives. The Grace Message is bursting with truth. The love of God practically drips from its pages. Read it and see for yourself!” —Bart Millard, singer/songwriter for MercyMe |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: Take the Mic: Fictional Stories of Everyday Resistance Jason Reynolds, Samira Ahmed, L. D. Lewis, Ray Stoeve, Laura Silverman, Sofia Quintero, Keah Brown, Darcie Little Badger, Yamile Saied Méndez, Bethany C. Morrow, 2019-10-01 A young adult anthology featuring fictional stories of everyday resistance. You might be the kind of person who stands up to online trolls.Or who marches to protest injustice.Perhaps you are #DisabledAndCute and dancing around your living room, alive and proud.Or perhaps you are the trans mentor that you wish you had when you were younger.Maybe you call out false allies, or stand up to loved ones. Maybe you speak your truth and drop the mic, or maybe you take it with you when you leave.This anthology features fictional stories--in poems, prose, and art--that reflect a slice of the varied and limitless ways that readers like you resist every day. Take the Mic's powerful collection of stories features work by literary luminaries and emerging talent alike, including Newbery-winner Jason Reynolds, New York Times bestseller Samira Ahmed, anthologist and contributor Bethany C. Morrow, Darcie Little Badger, Keah Brown, Laura Silverman, L.D. Lewis, Sofia Quintero, Ray Stoeve, Yamile Mendez, and Connie Sun, with cover and interior art by Richie Pope. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: Overstated Colin Quinn, 2020-09-22 The popular comedian, social commentator, and star of Red State Blue State tackles the condition of our union today: “Thoroughly entertaining.” —Booklist (starred review) Utah: The Church of States Vermont: The Old Hippie State Florida: The Hot Mess State Arizona: The Instagram Model State Wisconsin: The Diet Starts Tomorrow State The United States is in a fifty-states-wide couples’ counseling session, thinking about filing for divorce. But is that really what we want? Can a nation composed of states that are so different possibly hang together? Colin Quinn, writer and star of Red State Blue State and Unconstitutional, calls us out state-by-state, from Connecticut to Hawaii. He identifies the hypocrisies inherent in what we claim to believe and what we actually do. Within a framework of big-picture thinking about systems of government—after all, how would you put this country together if you started from scratch today?—to dead-on observations about the quirks and vibes of the citizens in each region, Overstated skewers us all: red, blue, and purple. Ultimately, it’s infused with the same blend of optimism and practicality that sparked the United States into being. “The author lands his punches [and] spares neither right- nor left-leaning terrain.” —Kirkus Reviews “Quinn pulls off the remarkable feat of being both very informative and thoroughly entertaining. This delightful read is highly recommended.” —Booklist (starred review) |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: Schottenfreude Ben Schott, 2013-10-31 Schottenfreude is a unique, must-have dictionary, complete with newly coined words that explore the idiosyncrasies of life as only the German language can. Ever thought, There should be a German word for that? Well, thanks to the brilliantly original mind behind Schott’s Original Miscellany, now there is. In what other language but German could you construct le mot juste for a secret love of bad foods, the inability to remember jokes, Sunday-afternoon depression, the urge to yawn, the glee of gossip, reassuring your hairdresser, delight at the changing of the seasons, the urge to hoard, or the ineffable pleasure of a cold pillow? A beguiling, ideal gift book for the Gelehrte or anyone on your list—just beware of rapidly expanding (and potentially incomprehensible) vocabularies. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: More Information Than You Require John Hodgman, 2008 The best-selling author of The Areas of My Expertise presents a tongue-in-cheek compendium of made-up facts that fall under such headings as The Method by Which We Elect Our Presidents, How to Be a Famous Minor Television Personality, and Gambling: The Sport of the Asthmatic Man. 150,000 first printing. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: Red, White, and Black Robert L. Woodson, Sr., 2021-05-11 In the rush to redefine the place of black Americans in contemporary society, many radical activists and academics have mounted a campaign to destroy traditional American history and replace it with a politicized version that few would recognize. According to the new radical orthodoxy, the United States was founded as a racist nation—and everything that has happened throughout our history must be viewed through the lens of the systemic oppression of black people. Rejecting this false narrative, a collection of the most prominent and respected black scholars and thinkers has come together to correct the record and tell the true story of black Americans in all its complexity, diversity of experience, and poignancy. Collectively, they paint a vivid picture of black people living the grand American experience, however bumpy the road may be along the way. But rather than a people apart, blacks are woven into the united whole that makes this nation unique in history. Featuring Essays by: John Sibley Butler Jason D. Hill Coleman Cruz Hughes John McWhorter Clarence Page Wilfred Reilly Shelby Steele Carol M. Swain Dean Nelson Charles Love Rev. Corey Brook Stephen L. Harris Harold A. Black Stephanie Deutsch Yaya J. Fanusie Ian Rowe John Wood, Jr. Joshua Mitchell Robert Cherry Rev. DeForest Black Soaries, Jr. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: "Free Grace" Theology Wayne Grudem, 2016-07-18 Must the gospel message include a call for people to repent of their sins? “No,” say Free Grace advocates. Is evidence of a changed life an important indication of whether a person is truly born again? “No, again,” these advocates say. But in this book, Wayne Grudem shows how the Bible answers “Yes” to both of these questions, arguing that the Free Grace movement contradicts both historic Protestant teaching and the New Testament itself. This important book explains the true nature of the Christian gospel and answers the question asked by so many people: “How can I know that I’m saved?” |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: Social (In)justice Helen Pluckrose, James Lindsay, Rebecca Christiansen, 2022-01-18 This is a book about ideas. Specifically, this is a book about the evolution of a certain set of ideas, and how these ideas have come to dominate every important discussion about race, gender, and identity today. Have you heard someone refer to language as literal violence, or say that science is sexist? Or declare that being obese is healthy, or that there is no such thing as biological sex? Or that valuing hard work, individualism, and even punctuality is evidence of white supremacy? Or that only certain people—depending on their race, gender, or identity—should be allowed to wear certain clothes or hairstyles, cook certain foods, write certain characters, or play certain roles? If so, then you've encountered these ideas. As this reader-friendly adaptation of the internationally acclaimed bestseller Cynical Theories explains, however, the truth is that many of these ideas are recent inventions, are not grounded in scientific fact, and do not account for the sheer complexity of social reality and human experience. In fact, these beliefs often deny and even undermine the very principles on which liberal democratic societies are built—the very ideas that have allowed for unprecedented human progress, lifted standards of living across the world, and given us the opportunity and right to consider and debate these ideas in the first place! Ultimately, this is a book about what it truly means to have a just and equal society—and how best to get there. Cynical Theories is a Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and Publishers Weekly bestseller. Named a 2020 Book of the Year by The Times, Sunday Times, and Financial Times, it is being translated into more than fifteen languages. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: Weird Wisconsin Linda S. Godfrey, Richard D. Hendricks, Mark Moran, Mark Sceurman, 2005 |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: The Playbook Barney Stinson, 2012-12-11 It. Is. On. From the pen of the prolific (and bestselling) author Barney Stinson comes the indispensable guide for every Bro looking to score with The Ladies. Featuring the famous plays including: -The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn -Mrs. Stinsfire -The Ted Mosby -The Time Traveller -The 'SNASA' -The Scuba Diver -The 'He's Not Coming' … and other greatest hits from Barney Stinson's secretPlaybookof legendary moves. So suit up and get ready to be schooled in awsomeness. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: Surrender, White People! D. L. Hughley, Doug Moe, 2020-06-30 THE NATIONAL BESTSELLER Hughley uses his trademark humor to address the stark divisions in society that stem from centuries of white supremacy. —People Surrender, white people! After 400 years of white supremacy in America, a reckoning is here. These are the terms of peace–and they are unconditional. Hope you brought a sense of humor, because this is gonna sting. After centuries of oppressing others, white people are in for a surprise: You’re about to be a minority yourself. Yes, the face of America is getting a lot browner—and a reckoning is coming. Black and brown folk are not going to take a back seat anymore. It’s time to surrender your unjust privileges and sue for peace while the getting’s still good. Lucky for America, D.L. Hughley has a plan. On the eve of America becoming a majority-minority nation, Hughley warns, the only way for America to move forward peacefully is if Whites face their history, put aside all their visions of superiority, and open up their institutions so they benefit everyone in this nation. But we can still have fun with this right? Surrender, White People! hilariously holds America account for its wrongs and offers D.L.'s satirical terms for reparations and reconciliation. But it’s not all bad news, white folks. The upside is that if you put D.L.’s plan into effect, you can FINALLY get black people to stop talking about oppression, discrimination, and their place in America. Now, that’s something we ALL can get behind. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: Orange Man Bad Zephra Joan, 2020-07-28 A small collection of the many harrowing escapades, of the baddest orange of them all, accompanied by the ever vigilant fruit-basket of friends: Craizen, Sour Puss, Tert the Turdle, and many more familiar faces. Don't forget to check out society6.com/orangemanbad for official Orange Man Bad merch!! |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: The Mighty Book of Boosh Julian Barratt, Noel Fielding, 2008 Join Howard Moon, Vince Noir, Naboo, Bollo, Bob Fossil, Old Gregg, the Moon, and all your other favourite characters on a unique journey in to the world of The Mighty Boosh. Content includes: *An extract from Howard's jazz detective novel Trumpet Full of Memories *Vince's Christmas Toy story *Bollo's letters to Peter Jackson *Bob Fossil's postcards from 'Nam *A new Charlie story *Ol' Gregg's watercolours *Naboo's guide to black magic *Dixon Bainbridge's Turkish Challenge *Crimp lyrics Incredibly funny, visually dynamic, surreal, musical, wildly creative... The Mighty Boosh is unlike anything else on British television, and this beautifully illustrated humour book is utterly unique. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: That's Queen Bitch to You! Ed Polish, Darren Wotz, 2005-11 The eagerly anticipated follow-up to YOU SAY I'M A BITCH LIKE IT'S A BAD THING, this collection of feisty declarations tackles sex, love, betrayal, ambition, menopause, motherhood, pets, housework, diet, and hairstyles. Featuring vintage advertising images paired with bold and defiant affirmations, this fun little flipbook walks a thin line between vulgarity and hilarity with brazen humor and a daring dose of bitchiness. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: I Am Pusheen the Cat Claire Belton, 2013-10-29 This collection of kitty comics featuring the chubby, tubby tabby who has taken the Internet by storm will fill you in on all the basics. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: How to Win Friends and Influence Enemies Will Witt, 2021-09-21 Instant National Best Seller! Political commentator and media personality Will Witt gives young conservatives the ammunition they need to fight back against the liberal media. Popular culture in America today is dominated by the left. Most young people have never even heard of conservative values from someone their age, and if they do, the message is often bland and outdated. Almost every Hollywood actor, musician, media personality, and role model for young people in America rejects conservative values, and Gen Zs and millennials are quick to regurgitate these viewpoints without developing their own opinions on issues. So many young conservatives in America want to stand up for their beliefs in their classrooms, at their jobs, with their friends, or on social media, but they don’t have the tools to do so. In How to Win Friends and Influence Enemies, Will Witt arms Gen Zs and millennials with the knowledge and skills to combat the leftist narrative they hear every day. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: If You Loved Me You'd Think This Was Cute Nick Galifianakis, 2010-10-11 Everyone knows the only thing more painful than relationships is not having them--or is it the other way around? Whatever, says author and cartoonist Nick Galifianakis. In his first book, If You Loved Me, You'd Think This Was Cute: Uncomfortably True Cartoons About You, he makes the case that either way, the only recourse is to embrace our frailties and laugh. Taken from Carolyn Hax's nationally syndicated advice column, this compilation spins the pain of dating, mothers-in-law, beneficial friends and more into ... the pain of self-recognition. The intricately drawn pen-and-ink panels and pointed captions explore some of life's most uncomfortable truths, exposing the humanity in our mistakes, the underbelly of our triumphs and the sheer heroism of trying and trying again. Throughout this character study of men and women (and the dogs who love them), Galifianakis mines our hopes and insecurities for a unifying truth: If we can't laugh at ourselves, he'll do it for us. Nick snuck me into my first comedy club when I was only a back-acned teenager. The back acne went away but the comedy stuck. I know that last sentence sounds like a lyric from a Joan Baez song, but trust me, it's original. --Zach Galifianakis, from the foreword Nick's cartoons are funny, witty, and smart. But what makes them so special are how universal and true they are, making the laughs they bring all the more poignant. Relationships, in all their glory, have never been captured quite so succinctly and with such charm. --Amy B. Harris, writer/producer for Sex and the City Nick Galifianakis understands relationships unbelievably well, for a guy. My guess is he actually menstruates. --Gene Weingarten, two-time Pulitzer Prize winner, Washington Post humor columnist |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: The Chapo Guide to Revolution Chapo Trap House, Felix Biederman, Matt Christman, Brendan James, Will Menaker, Virgil Texas, 2019-10-15 Instant New York Times bestseller “Howard Zinn on acid or some bullsh*t like that.” —Tim Heidecker The creators of the cult-hit podcast Chapo Trap House deliver a manifesto for everyone who feels orphaned and alienated—politically, culturally, and economically—by the lanyard-wearing Wall Street centrism of the left and the lizard-brained atavism of the right: there is a better way, the Chapo Way. In a guide that reads like “a weirder, smarter, and deliciously meaner version of The Daily Show’s 2004 America (The Book)” (Paste), Chapo Trap House shows you that you don’t have to side with either sinking ships. These self-described “assholes from the internet” offer a fully ironic ideology for all who feel politically hopeless and prefer broadsides and tirades to reasoned debate. Learn the “secret” history of the world, politics, media, and everything in-between that THEY don’t want you to know and chart a course from our wretched present to a utopian future where one can post in the morning, game in the afternoon, and podcast after dinner without ever becoming a poster, gamer, or podcaster. A book that’s “as intellectually serious and analytically original as it is irreverent and funny” (Glenn Greenwald, New York Times bestselling author of No Place to Hide) The Chapo Guide to Revolution features illustrated taxonomies of contemporary liberal and conservative characters, biographies of important thought leaders, “never before seen” drafts of Aaron Sorkin’s Newsroom manga, and the ten new laws that govern Chapo Year Zero (everyone gets a dog, billionaires are turned into Soylent, and logic is outlawed). If you’re a fan of sacred cows, prisoners being taken, and holds being barred, then this book is NOT for you. However, if you feel disenfranchised from the political and cultural nightmare we’re in, then Chapo, let’s go… |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: BLM Mike Gonzalez, 2021-09-07 The George Floyd riots that have precipitated great changes throughout American society were not spontaneous events. Americans did not suddenly rise up in righteous anger, take to the streets, and demand not just that police departments be defunded but that all the structures, institutions, and systems of the United States—all supposedly racist—be overhauled. The 12,000 or so demonstrations and 633 related riots that followed Floyd’s death took organizational muscle. The movement’s grip on institutions from the classroom to the ballpark required ideological commitment. That muscle and commitment were provided by the various Black Lives Matter organizations. This book examines who the BLM leaders are, delving into their backgrounds and exposing their agendas—something the media has so far refused to do. These people are shown to be avowed Marxists who say they want to dismantle our way of life. Along with their fellow activists, they make savvy use of social media to spread their message and organize marches, sit-ins, statue tumblings, and riots. In 2020 they seized upon the video showing George Floyd’s suffering as a pretext to unleash a nationwide insurgency. Certainly, no person of good will could object to the proposition that “black lives matter” as much as any other human life. But Americans need to understand how their laudable moral concern is being exploited for purposes that a great many of them would not approve. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: Red-Handed Peter Schweizer, 2022-01-25 #1 New York Times Bestseller ?Peter Schweizer says that, in a quarter-century as an investigative journalist, this is the scariest investigation he has ever conducted. That the Chinese government seeks to infiltrate American institutions is hardly surprising. What is wholly new, however, are the number of American elites who are eager to help the Chinese dictatorship in its quest for global hegemony. Presidential families, Silicon Valley gurus, Wall Street high rollers, Ivy League universities, even professional athletes—all willing to sacrifice American strength and security on the altar of personal enrichment. In Red-Handed, six-time New York Times bestselling investigator Peter Schweizer presents his most alarming findings to date by revealing the secret deals wealthy Americans have cut to help China build its military, technological, and economic might. Equally as astonishing, many of these elites quietly believe the Chinese dictatorial regime is superior to American democracy. Schweizer and his team of forensic investigators spent over a year scouring a massive trove of global corporate records and legal filings to expose the hidden transactions China’s enablers hoped would never see the light of day. And as Schweizer’s past bombshells like Profiles in Corruption, Secret Empires, and Clinton Cash all made clear, there are bad actors on both ends of the political spectrum. Exhaustively researched, crisply told, and chilling, Red-Handed will expose the nexus of power between the Chinese government and the American elites who do its bidding. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: A6M Zero-sen Aces 1940-42 Nicholas Millman, 2019-04-18 The Mitsubishi A6M Zero-sen was Japan's Spitfire. In continuous development and operational service from the time of the Sino-Japanese war in 1940 to the end of the Pacific War in 1945, it is held in almost mythical awe, similar to Britain's legendary fighter aircraft. At the time of its operational debut the fighter's design features offered the revolutionary combination of an all-round vision canopy, cannon armament and a jettisonable drop tank giving it phenomenal range. Together with the flying and tactical proficiency of superbly trained pilots, this made the Zero-sen a true strategic fighter, spearheading Japan's offensive in the Pacific. It was also the mount of a plethora of successful and flamboyant naval aces engaged in both sea and land campaigns. This volume covers the use of the A6M2 variant from its debut in China to the Solomons Campaign, and also tells the story of the A6M2 fighter aces of the 4th and Tainan Kokutai. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: The Dying Citizen Victor Davis Hanson, 2021-10-05 The New York Times bestselling author of The Case for Trump explains the decline and fall of the once cherished idea of American citizenship. Human history is full of the stories of peasants, subjects, and tribes. Yet the concept of the “citizen” is historically rare—and was among America’s most valued ideals for over two centuries. But without shock treatment, warns historian Victor Davis Hanson, American citizenship as we have known it may soon vanish. In The Dying Citizen, Hanson outlines the historical forces that led to this crisis. The evisceration of the middle class over the last fifty years has made many Americans dependent on the federal government. Open borders have undermined the idea of allegiance to a particular place. Identity politics have eradicated our collective civic sense of self. And a top-heavy administrative state has endangered personal liberty, along with formal efforts to weaken the Constitution. As in the revolutionary years of 1848, 1917, and 1968, 2020 ripped away our complacency about the future. But in the aftermath, we as Americans can rebuild and recover what we have lost. The choice is ours. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: Speechless Michael Knowles, 2021-06-22 “Every single American needs to read Michael Knowles’s Speechless. I don’t mean ‘read it eventually.’ I mean: stop what you’re doing and pick up this book.” —CANDACE OWENS The most important book on free speech in decades—read it!” —SENATOR TED CRUZ A New Strategy: We Win, They Lose The Culture War is over, and the culture lost. The Left’s assault on liberty, virtue, decency, the Republic of the Founders, and Western civilization has succeeded. You can no longer keep your social media account—or your job—and acknowledge truths such as: Washington, Jefferson, and Columbus were great men. Schools and libraries should not coach children in sexual deviance. Men don’t have uteruses. How did we get to this point? Michael Knowles of The Daily Wire exposes and diagnosis the losing strategy we have fallen for and shows how we can change course—and start winning. In the groundbreaking Speechless: Controlling Words, Controlling Minds Knowles reveals: How the “free speech absolutists” gave away the store The First Amendment does not require a value-neutral public square How the Communists figured out that their revolution could never succeed as long as the common man was attached to his own culture Where political correctness came from How, comply or resist, political correctness is a win-win game for the bad guys Why taking our stand on “freedom of speech” helps put atheism, decadence, and nonsense on the same plane with faith, virtue, and reality The real question: Will we shut down drag queen story hour, or cancel Abraham Lincoln? For 170 years the First Amendment was compatible with prayer in public school How the atheists got the Warren Court to rule their way To this day, there’s a First Amendment exception for obscenity. What exactly is the argument that perverts’ teaching toddlers to twerk is not obscene? Read Speechless: Controlling Words, Controlling Minds if you want to learn how to take the fight to the enemy. |
the babylon bee guide to wokeness: Stuff White People Like Christian Lander, 2008-08-06 They love nothing better than sipping free-trade gourmet coffee, leafing through the Sunday New York Times, and listening to David Sedaris on NPR (ideally all at the same time). Apple products, indie music, food co-ops, and vintage T-shirts make them weak in the knees. They believe they’re unique, yet somehow they’re all exactly the same, talking about how they “get” Sarah Silverman’s “subversive” comedy and Wes Anderson’s “droll” films. They’re also down with diversity and up on all the best microbrews, breakfast spots, foreign cinema, and authentic sushi. They’re organic, ironic, and do not own TVs. You know who they are: They’re white people. And they’re here, and you’re gonna have to deal. Fortunately, here’s a book that investigates, explains, and offers advice for finding social success with the Caucasian persuasion. So kick back on your IKEA couch and lose yourself in the ultimate guide to the unbearable whiteness of being. Praise for STUFF WHITE PEOPLE LIKE: “The best of a hilarious Web site: an uncannily accurate catalog of dead-on predilections. The Criterion Collection of classic films? Haircuts with bangs? Expensive fruit juice? ‘Blonde on Blonde’ on the iPod? The author knows who reads The New Yorker and who wears plaid.” –Janet Maslin’s summer picks, CBS.com “The author of Stuff White People Like skewers the sacred cows of lefty Caucasian culture, from the Prius to David Sedaris. . . . It gently mocks the habits and pretensions of urbane, educated, left-leaning whites, skewering their passion for Barack Obama and public transportation (as long as it's not a bus), their idle threats to move to Canada, and joy in playing children's games as adults. Kickball, anyone?” –Salon.com “A handy reference guide with which you can check just how white you are. Hint: If you like only documentaries and think your child is gifted, you glow in the dark, buddy.” –NY Daily News |
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