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| the baby jesus butt plug: Bucket of Face Eric Hendrixson, 2010-10 Thirteen years after a police officer searching a suspected child molester's home spilled a vial of silver pollen, America is still struggling with how to recognize its sentient fruit population. Charles is just a normal guy working at a doughnut shop until an apple and a banana shoot each other in a mafia dispute, leaving a briefcase full of foreign currency and a specimen bucket at the corner booth. When Charles turns the wiseguys into doughnuts and steals their luggage, hoping for a better life for himself and his kiwi fruit girlfriend, he finds himself in the middle of a mafia war. As his girlfriend travels the DC metro area, selling off the contents of the bucket, Charles finds he is the target of a seasoned hit-tomato, who happens to be the biggest Michael Jackson fan who ever lived. |
| the baby jesus butt plug: The Bizarro Starter Kit Carlton Mellick, Jeremy Robert Johnson, John Edward Lawson, 2006 Features short novels and story collections by ten of the leading authors in the bizarro genre. |
| the baby jesus butt plug: The Vagina: A Literary and Cultural History Emma L. E. Rees, 2013-08-01 From South Park to Kathy Acker, and from Lars Von Trier to Sex and the City, women's sexual organs are demonized. Rees traces the fascinating evolution of this demonization, considering how calling the 'c-word' obscene both legitimates and perpetuates the fractured identities of women globally. Rees demonstrates how writers, artists, and filmmakers contend with the dilemma of the vagina's puzzlingly 'covert visibility'. In our postmodern, porn-obsessed culture, vaginas appear to be everywhere, literally or symbolically but, crucially, they are as silenced as they are objectified. The Vagina: A Literary and Cultural History examines the paradox of female genitalia through five fields of artistic expression: literature, film, TV, visual, and performance art. There is a peculiar paradox – unlike any other – regarding female genitalia. Rees focuses on this paradox of what is termed the 'covert visibility' of the vagina and on its monstrous manifestations. That is, what happens when the female body refuses to be pathologized, eroticized, or rendered subordinate to the will or intention of another? Common, and often offensive, slang terms for the vagina can be seen as an attempt to divert attention away from the reality of women's lived sexual experiences such that we don't 'look' at the vagina itself – slang offers a convenient distraction to something so taboo. The Vagina: A Literary and Cultural History is an important contribution to the ongoing debate in understanding the feminine identity |
| the baby jesus butt plug: The Ultra Fuckers Carlton Mellick Iii, Carlton Mellick, 2008 Tony dreads the idea of going to his wife's company dinner party in Eagle Hills; the new upper-middleclass gated community that just popped up outside of Scottsdale, AZ. He hates these Southwestern-style planned suburban neighborhoods. All of the streets look the same. All of the houses look the same. All of the people look the same. Because everything in Eagle Hills looks exactly the same, Tony has trouble finding the dinner party. He quickly becomes lost in the sea of red tile roofs. The streets seem to go on forever. The addresses don't seem to make any sense. After hours of navigating the suburban labyrinth, Tony discovers that there is something terribly wrong with the Eagle Hills gated community. There is something unnatural about the houses around him. There is something inhuman about the people staring at him through the windows. And no matter how far he drives, he can't seem to find his way out. Ultra Fuckers is a work of absurd suburban horror in the tradition of Mellick's previous short novel, The Menstruating Mall. |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Pocket Full of Loose Razorblades John Edward Lawson, 2005 This collection highlights dark surrealism at its most experimental and absurd depths. The texts are perception-altering and soul-poisoning, humorous in the way that accidental amputation and spontaneous combustion are. From the man who works at the foot fungus factory to the man who lives in a giant rectum, Pocket Full of Loose Razorblades will leave you wondering where you misplaced your sanity.Bio: John Edward Lawson is an author and editor living just outside Washington, D.C. His poetry collections include The Horrible and The Scars are Complimentary. His novel, Last Burn in Hell, was published in 2005. John is editor-in-chief of Raw Dog Screaming Press and The Dream People webzine, and has also been editor of several anthologies, including Tempting Disaster and Sick: An Anthology of Illness. |
| the baby jesus butt plug: The Egg Man Carlton Mellick Iii, Carlton Mellick, 2008 |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Monsters and the Monstrous , 2007-01-01 Emerging from depths comes a series of papers dealing with one of the most significant creations that reflects on and critiques human existence. Both a warning and a demonstration, the monster as myth and metaphor provides an articulation of human imagination that toys with the permissible and impermissible. Monsters from zombies to cuddly cartoon characters, emerging from sewers, from pages of literature, propaganda posters, movies and heavy metal, all are covered in this challenging, scholarly collection. This volume the third in the series presents a marvellous collection of studies on the metaphor of the monster in literature, cinema, music, culture, philosophy, history and politics. Both historical reflection and concerns of our time are addressed with clarity and written in an accessible manner providing appeal for the scholar and lay reader alike. This eclectic collection will be of interest to academics and students working in a range of disciplines, such as cultural studies, film studies, political theory, philosophy and literature studies. |
| the baby jesus butt plug: 10 Ways to Recycle a Corpse Karl Shaw, 2011-09-27 Prepare to be even more revolted, flabbergasted, appalled, and completely entertained by this incredible follow-up collection of absolutely true trivia from the author of 5 People Who Died During Sex. Nothing is too insane, too inane, or too sacred for Karl Shaw’s eclectic lists of the world’s very worst. DID YOU KNOW… …that according to recent estimates (2010) your body is worth between $10,000-$100,000 on today’s open market—from companies legitimately trading body parts from willing donors to recognized medical facilities? …that the great plague of Athens in 404, which lead to the defeat of the Athenians in the Peloponnesian War, was probably caused by contaminated cereals? …that Benjamin Franklin liked to sit stark naked in front of his open windows, calling the practice “taking an air bath”? …that in the last days of his life, the actor Steve McQueen lived on a diet largely comprised of boiled alligator skin and apricot pits, washed down with urine? |
| the baby jesus butt plug: The Haunted Vagina Carlton Mellick, 2006 Steve is madly in love with his eccentric girlfriend, Stacy. Unfortunately, their sex life has been suffering as of late, because Steve is worried about the odd noises that have been coming from Stacy's pubic region. She says that her vagina is haunted. She doesn't think it's that big of a deal. Steve, on the other hand, completely disagrees. When a living corpse climbs out of her during an awkward night of sex, Stacy learns that her vagina is actually a doorway to another world. She persuades Steve to climb inside of her to explore this strange new place. But once inside, Steve finds it difficult to return... especially once he meets an oddly attractive woman named Fig, who lives within the lonely haunted world between Stacy's legs. |
| the baby jesus butt plug: The Ballad of a Slow Poisoner Andrew Goldfarb, 2007 Herein are the singular adventures of one Millford Mutterwurst, who one day makes the unpleasant discovery that his elbows are becoming flatter - an unpleasant effect of the nefarious act of slow poisoning. He is soon joined by a blue and globular companion named Slub Glub and one translucent monkey in a frenetic balloon voyage to dangerous isles and disturbing planets in a desperate attempt to escape this deadly withering. A tale told in eighty dizzying chapters, all of them exceedingly short, and filled with strange songs and oblique illustrations. |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Fishy-fleshed Carlton Mellick, 2004 Fishy-fleshed is an illustrated collection of thought-logs from a child-like man living in the cartoonish future world of Ocean City, so technologically advanced that everyone possesses the ability to walk on water, cure diseases, clone food, and raise the dead . . . an entire civilization of Messiahs. When a team of researchers travel back in time to the days of the Real Messiah, they discover the past is a lot different than they imagined. It is an illogical flatland lacking in dimension and color, a sick-scape of crispy squid people wandering the desert for no apparent reason. Part science-fiction parody, part nightmarish absurdism, Fishy-fleshed is likely to leave a green-gray taste in your mouth. This volume includes both the English translation and the original Ywellish language text. |
| the baby jesus butt plug: The Kafka Effekt D. Harlan Wilson, 2001 The Kafka Effekt is D. Harlan Wilson's debut book, a collection of forty-four short stories loosely written in the vein of Franz Kafka, with more than a pinch of William S. Burroughs sprinkled on top. A manic depressive has a baby's bottom grafted onto his face; a hermaphrodite impregnates itself and gives birth to twins; a gaggle of professors find themselves trapped in a port-a-john and struggle to liberate their minds from the prison of reason-these are just a few of the precarious situations that the characters herein are forced to confront. The Kafka Effekt is a postmodern scream. Absurd, intelligent, funny and scatological, Wilson turns reality inside out and exposes it as a grotesque, nightmarish machine that is always-already processing the human subject, who struggles to break free from the machine, but who at the same time revels in its subjugation. |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Punk Land Carlton Mellick III, 2005 The author takes us on a journey into an absurd afterlife called PUNK LAND: the punk version of Heaven. The story follows Goblin, a deformed young hermit who is perfectly happy haunting an abandoned gatehouse far outside of civilization with his pet dildo, Frog Strips, until two strangers named Nan and Mortician arrive at his doorstep with a crazy story that turns his quiet post-life existence upside-down. Goblin soon finds himself mixed up in a war between corporate punks and traditional punks that he really couldn't care less about. But without the help of Goblin, Mortician's sperm, and a blue-mohawked female assassin named Shark Girl, the utopian anarchy in Punk Land will surely be lost--Publisher's description. |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Ugly Heaven, Beautiful Hell Carlton Mellick, III, Jeffrey Thomas, 2007 Thomas and Mellick collaborate on their own twisted visions of heaven and hell in these two stories. |
| the baby jesus butt plug: It Came from Below the Belt Bradley Sands, 2006-02 IT CAME FROM BELOW THE BELT, BY BRADLEY SANDS Meet Grover Goldstein: Twenty-First Century rascal, trainee provocateur, boy next door who won't stop snickering at you from behind the lawn gnome. Swallowed by a giraffe and regurgitated oodles of years into the future, Grover must satisfy his urge to go home-even if it means going back to high school and helping his severed, and sentient, penis win the presidential election. Come along to Assumption High as Grover tries to answer the age-old question, What if I had forgotten then what I don't know now? Absurdism at its finest, and part of the new and expanding Bizarro genre, this highly-anticipated first novel is by the editor of the zine Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens. |
| the baby jesus butt plug: The Menstruating Mall Carlton Mellick, III, 2005 Ten ridiculously stereotypical consumer victims (a yuppie, a housewife, a retiree, a jock, a bible thumper, a cowboy, a preppy, a gamer, a goth, and a white suburban gangsta) find themselves unable to leave the mall one day. There is nothing stopping them. The doors are unlocked. Other shoppers are able to come and go as they please. But for some inexplicable reason, these ten people cannot pry themselves away from their shopping miasma. The mall closes, and they won't leave. Days pass, and they're still there, eating meals in the food court and sleeping in department store bedroom displays. Then they begin to die off, one by one, murdered by a mysterious killer, and they still won't allow themselves to escape. Carlton Mellick III's The Menstruating Mall is both a modernized take on Luis Bunuel's The Exterminating Angel, and a parody of Agatha Christie's And Then There Were None. Featuring mock mall advertisements by retard punk hero Food Fortunata and cover art by Skin242. |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Sea of the Patchwork Cats Carlton Mellick III, Carlton Mellick (III.), 2006 It is a story that has been passed down generation after generation. The story of conjoined twin goddesses floating peacefully in the middle of the sea. Many of those that have seen them, usually on calm starlit nights, swear that they are the sirens of mythology, luring sailors in to their doom. Others claim that the twins are not live women, but an ancient stone structure carved to resemble two females sitting back to back. A fewbelieve they mark the gateway tothe lost city of Atlantis, or a gateway to the spirit realm. But on all accounts there is one consistency: if you listen closely, at just the right distance, you will hear them echoing on the ghostly wind . . . dozens and dozens of meowing cats. Sea of the Patchwork Cats is a sad dreamlike tale set in the quiet ashes of the human race. A must-read for Mellick enthusiasts who also adore The Twilight Zone. |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Perverted by Language Peter Wild, 2007 Mechanical ducks, shark women that taste of licorice, perverted sexual shenanigans in cramped office spaces, double-crossing Nazi apologists, bald-headed cultural subversives, and celebrity deer-culling--this is the wonderful and frightening world of Perverted by Language. Twenty-three writers choose a song by The Fall and use it as inspiration for a short story. Contributors include: Steve Aylett, Matt Beaumont, Nicholas Blincoe, Clare Dudman, Richard Evans, Michel Faber, Niall Griffiths, Andrew Holmes, Mick Jackson, Nick Johnstone, Stewart Lee, Kevin MacNeil, Carlton Mellick III, Rebbecca Ray, Nicholas Royle, Matthew David Scott, Stav Sherez, Mark E Smith, Nick Stone, Matt Thorne, Jeff VanderMeer, Helen Walsh, and John Williams. |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Szmonhfu Hertzan Chimera, 2001 |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Sex and Death in Television Town Carlton Mellick (III.), Carlton Mellick III, 2005 A band of hermaphrodite gunslingers fight for their lives in a desert infested with crispy black demons. Along with a motley collection of survivors (including a sex-crazed female samurai modified to resemble a bipedal stegosaurus) they take refuge in the only safe haven left: Telos . . . a strange town near the end of the world, where the citizens have televisions instead of heads. |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Dead Bitch Army Andre Duza, 2004 Step into a world filled with racist teenagers, masked assassins, cannibals, a telekinetic hitman, 100 warped Uncle Sams, automobiles with razor-sharp teeth, living graffiti, cartoons that walk and talk, a steroid-addicted pro-athlete, an angry black chic, a washed-up Barbara Walters clone, the threat of a war to end all wars, and a pissed-off zombie bitch out for revenge. When the police finally capture the number one suspect in the Bloody Mary Murders, a single-mother named Natasha Armstrong, nobody believes her story about her twelve-year search for the real killer, a murderous walking corpse who has no eyes but can still see, who moves like a bad stop-motion incarnation, but does so with ethereal grace. Nobody believes her when she tells them about all the bodies, or the people they used as game for the military-style obstacle courses that Bloody Mary and her soldiers, a ragtag group made up mostly of runaways, would build wherever they'd settle in any given town to recruit more soldiers and prepare for the end of civilization as we know it. |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Apeshit – Pazzi Furiosi Carlton Mellick III, 2016-05-31 Sei adolescenti vanno a passare il fine settimana in una casa isolata tra i monti con l’idea di ubriacarsi, divertirsi e scopare, ma non hanno fatto i conti con i mostri che abitano nel bosco. La strada che porta alla casa in montagna è invasa dalle carcasse di animali di ogni genere ed è solo la prima delle stranezze in cui stanno per imbattersi. I protagonisti non sono i soliti adolescenti cliché dei film horror. Per esempio, Jason ha un padre che lo obbliga a subire esperienze traumatiche per imparare a non averne paura, mentre la cheerleader Crystal ha una passione malata per la pornografia illegale a tema aborti. Apeshit – Pazzi Furiosi è la dichiarazione d’amore di Mellick ai peggiori film horror di serie B, rivisitando i cliché dell’orrore in chiave Bizarro Fiction e tramutando una storia banale in un’orgia di stramberie. Una parodia splatter satura di follia. [Romanzo breve di Bizarro Fiction, collana Vaporteppa, 34.700 parole, circa 112 pagine, con in aggiunta un saggio di “Introduzione alla Bizarro Fiction” di 3800 parole a cura di Chiara Gamberetta] |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Shark Hunting in Paradise Garden Cameron Pierce, 2008 A group of fanatical religious tourists from the future travel back in time to meet Adam and Eve. Unfortunately, their time ship crashes, killing the majority of the crew (including the leprechauns) and leaving them stranded in this strange shark-infested land. Among the survivors are: Ernest who has the ability to turn people into mannequins, Ira who wields a razor-edged bible for a weapon, Wayne a giant wizard head with fat lizard legs, Donkey the hunchback halfwit, Anton the birdman, Rattlesnake Doctor, Ancestor, and Sturgeonwolf. This cult of deranged priests soon discover that Eden is a far more surreal and dangerous place than they could ever have imagined. It is going to take everything they've got in order to survive long enough to find another way home--Publisher's description. |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Chemical Gardens Gina Ranalli, 2006 It's a night like any other for punk rock band Green is the Enemy. Having just completed a gig in their hometown of Seattle, they pile into their van, headed for San Francisco to open for their idols Peroxide and with any luck, get signed to Withering Skin Records. Unfortunately, things don't go exactly as planned. They travel no more than a few blocks when an 8.5 earthquake strikes the city, tumbling buildings and opening streets, and sending the van crashing down into a huge crevasse. Beneath the city of Seattle is another long buried city, known to locals as The Underground and it is here that the band find themselves, trapped and somehow vastly. changed. Join Ro, Pawn, Dose and Whey as they fight to make it back in time for their gig, encounter strange creatures called Kreepkins, a surfer-dude warlock, a vengeful demon and a Metal Priestess who holds the key to their escape from the bizarre subterranean nightmare that is now their lives. |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Angel Dust Apocalypse Jeremy Robert Johnson, 2005 Meth-heads, man-made monsters, and murderous Neo-Nazis. Blissed out club kids dying at the speed of sound. The un-dead and the very soon-to-be-dead. They're all here, trying to claw their way free. From the radioactive streets of a war-scarred future, where the nuclear bombs have become self-aware, to the fallow fields of Nebraska where the kids are mainlining lightning bugs, this is a world both alien and intensely human. This is a place where self-discovery involves scalpels and horse tranquilizers; where the doctors are more doped-up than the patients; where obsessive-compulsive acid-freaks have unlocked the gateway to God and can't close the door. This is not a safe place. You can turn back now, or you can head straight into the heart of. the Angel Dust Apocalypse |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Razor Wire Pubic Hair Carlton Mellick, III, 2003 The surreal tale of a multi-gendered screwing toy purchased by a razor dominatrix and brought into her nightmarish world of bizarre sex and mutilation. |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Skimming the Gumbo Nuclear M. F. Korn, 2001 |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Satan Burger Carlton Mellick, III, 2001 Absurd philosophies, dark surrealism, and the end of the human race . . . God hates you. All of you. He closed the gates of Heaven and wants you to rot on Earth forever. Not only that, he is repossesing your souls and feeding them to a large vagina-like machine called the Walm - an interdimensional doorway that brings His New Children into the world. He loves these new children, but He doesn't love you. They are more interesting than you. They are beautiful, psychotic, magical, sex-crazed, and deadly. They are turning your cities into apocalyptic chaos, and there's nothing you can do about it ... Featuring: a narrator who sees his body from a third-person perspective, a man whose flesh is dead but his body parts are alive and running amok, an overweight messiah, the personal life of the Grim Reaper, lots of classy sex and violence, and a motley group of squatter punks that team up with the devil to find their place in a world that doesn't want them anymore. This generation's Vonnegut! - Vincent Sakowski |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Ocean of Lard Carlton Mellick III, Kevin L. Donihe, 2005 You're on the run from the cops and need a place to disappear somehow. Luckily you happen across a secret ocean in the middle of Wyoming. An undiscovered world of zombies and pirates that, according to maps, couldn't possibly exist. But here it is, a vast white sea that is made of some kind of greasy blubber substance instead of water. |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Smoldering Passion Adriana Kraft, When art student Melissa Hopkins finally unpacks the two boxes her Aunt Phoebe left for her and sees Phoebe’s black and white photos, it’s like opening Pandora’s Box. A simple quest to find a new job morphs into an about face—not just in her art, but in her career and personal life. Short on funds now that her graduate stipend is ending, she applies to work where Aunt Phoebe once worked: a center for sexuality and sex studies. Sworn off women after a disastrous relationship, Center Director Harry Gage ignores the danger signals and hires the striking young woman who reminds him of his former lover. Her air of innocence will captivate center viewers, so he’s sure she’ll be a hit on camera. What he’s not prepared for is how she pierces his heart. When the sparks flare up, is it love or just sex—and what must each of them risk to find out? This book was previously published. |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Hedge End Peter Mark May, 2018-06-07 Creatures trapped for centuries, free at last…to kill! The forest has always been there, and the high hedge around it has stood since Roman times. No one remembers anymore why the hedge was built, and bit by bit, as houses and modern life advance, the ancient barrier is being torn down. Slowly, creatures that have been trapped within for centuries are creeping through the gaps in the wall, hungry for revenge for their long imprisonment. As murder and horror spread through the nearby town of Hedge End, a stranger arrives, eager to give the residents a May Day celebration they will never forget. |
| the baby jesus butt plug: The Dudes' Guide to Pregnancy Bill Lloyd, Scott Finch, 2008-05-02 When a couple gets pregnant, typically, the first thing the mother-to-be does is rush out to the bookstore to buy the various pregnancy bibles. But how is the expectant father supposed to know what to expect? He could wait in the dark and take his cues from his partner, or he could prepare himself for anything and everything by seeking the counsel of two regular dudes, who have climbed the steep learning curve (and lived to tell) that comes when having a baby. The Dude's Guide to Pregnancy dispenses irreverent, honest, practical advice for the expectant father in an easy-to-understand--and often hilarious--man-to-man format. Taking you through the entire nine month process, the Dudes offer advice on what to expect from your newly pregnant wife (paranoia, morning sickness, enlarged breasts, no sex); the dos and don'ts of dealing with your wife's body and mood changes, your mother-in-law and other family members; and the nitty-gritty details of what is expected of you and how your life will be changing during the next 40 weeks. The Dude's Guide to Pregnancy gives twenty-something to forty-something men the indespensible tools and advice they need to maneuver the many ups and downs associated with impending fatherhood. |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Random Acts of Trust (Random Series #2) (BBW Romance, Rock Star Romance) Julia Kent, 2013-12-06 I swear I am not the kind of person who gets her cell phone caught in places that require an ER trip and an OBGYN. But, apparently, I am. I’m also not the kind of person who spends all her time thinking about the guy who got away. But, apparently, I am, too. Starting a new life in Boston isn’t supposed to include repeatedly embarrassing myself in public, meeting a crazy blond woman who has ties to the band Random Acts of Crazy, and definitely isn’t supposed to include wallowing in a past I thought I’d left behind four years ago. But, apparently, it does. And the drummer for the band, Sam Hinton, is the boy I loved in high school and who disappeared with my heart. Now he’s back, better than ever. Second chances aren’t supposed to make scars disappear and hearts mend. But, apparently, they can. If you trust enough. Fate took their lives by storm four years ago and put an unbreachable gulf between Sam and Amy. Can time really heal all wounds…or are some scars too deep? The second book in the Random series after the wildly successful New York Times and USA Today bestseller Random Acts of Crazy, Random Acts of Trust is a romantic comedy that explores the love between one man, one woman, and ends with one Happily Ever After (and no cliffhangers or chickens!). And you’ll never look at a cell phone the same way again. Listen to the audiobook, narrated by Sebastian York and Andi Arndt!! Topics: contemporary romance, romantic comedy, new adult romance, rockstar romance, rock star romance, erotic romance, seductive story, hot romance, women's fiction, women's romance, bbw romance, romance, contemporary woman julia kent, julia kent romance |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Apocalisse Peluche Carlton Mellick III, 2015-03-13 La guerra tra i giocattoli e gli umani è giunta al termine. E hanno vinto i giocattoli. Peluche, bambole e soldatini dotati di intelligenza artificiale non ne potevano più di venire maltrattati da bambini viziati e distrutti al minimo accenno di ribellione. Senza libertà, senza diritti, senza una speranza per il futuro, la loro unica possibilità di salvezza era di sterminare gli umani. Iniziò la rivolta. Julie è una ragazza sopravvissuta per sette anni dopo la rivolta dei giocattoli. Per riuscire a infiltrarsi tra loro e cercare i propri genitori, detenuti in un campo di concentramento, si è sottoposta a una serie di interventi per divenire identica a un panda peluche. Le manca solo la pelliccia sul volto. L’invasione del bunker sotterraneo, in cui abita con una comunità di umani, la costringe ad accelerare i propri piani. Mentre gli umani vengono sterminati, lei indossa una maschera da panda e tenta di farsi passare per un peluche, cercando di non farsi fissare troppo da vicino. Riuscirà a ingannare gli altri giocattoli e a ritrovare i propri genitori? [Romanzo di Bizarro Fiction, collana Vaporteppa, 40.000 parole, circa 141 pagine, con in aggiunta un saggio di Introduzione alla Bizarro Fiction di 3800 parole a cura di Chiara Gamberetta] |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Puttana da Guerra Carlton Mellick III, 2014-07-14 In un futuro in cui tutti sono stati arruolati fin dalla nascita, cinque soldati esausti attendono tra i ghiacci artici che accada qualcosa. Non sanno perché si trovano lì né cosa devono fare. I loro superiori hanno smesso di dare ordini, il cibo sta finendo e forse non esiste nemmeno un nemico da combattere. Quando la loro puttana da guerra (un essere geneticamente modificato per soddisfare i desideri dei soldati) sparisce nella tormenta, decidono di lasciare il campo per andarla a salvare e ciò che trovano nella città di ghiaccio è ben al di là di ciò che avevano immaginato. [Racconto lungo di Bizarro Fiction, collana Vaporteppa, 16.600 parole, circa 55 pagine, con in aggiunta un saggio di Introduzione alla Bizarro Fiction di 3800 parole a cura di Chiara Gamberetta] |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Durham Wolves Box Set Becca Jameson, The Durham brothers own a farm in the Smoky Mountains where they raise Thoroughbred horses. After ten years of coexisting in the mountains with the local vampire, relations between the brothers and the bloodsucker begin to go south. The vampire wants the shifters off “his” mountain, and he will stop at nothing to convince them to leave. As the three brothers meet their mates, fear for their safety increases. Each book in the series follows one brother’s mating and subsequent encounters with the increasingly powerful vampire. |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Kill Ball Carlton Mellick III, 2014-10-10 In un futuro in cui le persone sono obbligate a isolarsi dentro bolle di plastica colorate per interagire, senza potersi nemmeno vedere, i locali di spogliarello sono diventati l’ultimo tabù. In bolle trasparenti le spogliarelliste soddisfano il bisogno di contatto umano dei maschi, ma Kill Ball, un inarrestabile serial killer, vuole ucciderle tutte. Colin è innamorato di una spogliarellista, Siren, e la sua vita cambierà quando Kill Ball la prenderà di mira. [Romanzo breve di Bizarro Fiction, collana Vaporteppa, 26.200 parole, circa 92 pagine, con in aggiunta un saggio di Introduzione alla Bizarro Fiction di 3800 parole a cura di Chiara Gamberetta] |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Eingeknickt Pam Godwin, 2022-09-15 Ich schütze, was mir gehört. Die Ranch, meine Familie, unsere verborgenen Geheimnisse. Nichts wird mich davon abhalten, das Leben, das furchtbar schiefgelaufen ist, wiederaufzubauen. Nicht das Gesetz. Nicht unsere Feinde. Noch nicht einmal Maybe Quinn. Die hinreißende, streitsüchtige Journalistin hätte sich nicht einmischen dürfen. Ich hätte nicht zulassen dürfen, dass sie bleibt. Aber sie verbirgt etwas hinter diesen trügerischen blauen Augen. Etwas, was tiefer geht als ihre Gier nach einer neuen Story. Ich mache einen Deal mit ihr, um Zeit zu gewinnen. Um ihre Lügen zu entlarven. Um mit ihr zu spielen. Um meine dunkleren Gelüste zu befriedigen. Wenn sie unter meinem Gürtel einknickt, schicke ich sie weg. Es sei denn, ich knicke zuerst ein. |
| the baby jesus butt plug: La Casa sulle Sabbie Mobili Carlton Mellick III, 2016-04-18 Tick e Polly non hanno mai incontrato i loro genitori. Sono confinati nell’appartamento dei bambini dove crescono sotto le cure dell’anziana Tata Warbourogh, nell’attesa di poter incontrare mamma e papà e andare a vivere nel resto della casa. Dopo anni di attesa ormai Polly è diventata troppo grande per i vestiti che ha nell’armadio e dei genitori non c’è ancora nessuna traccia. Quando i macchinari che rendono autosufficiente l’appartamento iniziano a guastarsi, Polly e Tick sono obbligati ad affrontare il resto della casa. Li aspetta un labirinto di stanze e corridoi in rovina, abitato da creature mostruose che cacciano nelle ombre. La ricerca dei genitori diventa una battaglia per la sopravvivenza, nella disperata speranza di trovarli prima di morire di fame. Il mondo fuori dalle poche stanze in cui sono cresciuti è molto diverso da quello che pensavano di trovare, e più attraversano la casa e più svelano misteri che non avrebbero mai voluto scoprire. Uno dei libri più intimi e toccanti della produzione di Carlton Mellick III. [Romanzo di Bizarro Fiction, collana Vaporteppa, 58.000 parole, circa 187 pagine, con in aggiunta un saggio di Introduzione alla Bizarro Fiction di 3800 parole a cura di Chiara Gamberetta] |
| the baby jesus butt plug: Il Villaggio delle Sirene Carlton Mellick III, 2015-01-23 Sirene: una rara specie di pesce che imita l’aspetto femminile per attirare prede umane. Il Decreto per la Protezione delle Specie in Via di Estinzione vieta di uccidere le sirene, non è possibile farlo neppure per difendersi. Le comunità colpevoli di aver ucciso delle sirene vengono annientate. L’unica salvezza per i pescatori che vivono nelle aree abitate dalle sirene sono i bocconcini, umani modificati per essere la loro preda ideale. Ma cosa accadrebbe se le sirene smettessero di mangiarli? È ciò che è successo a Siren Cove, uno sperduto villaggio di pescatori. Il Dottor Black è stato inviato a indagare dall’azienda che produce i bocconcini, e la verità che dovrà far emergere sarà ben più strana di un semplice problema di sapore delle prede. Un mistero horror condito di distopia. [Romanzo breve di Bizarro Fiction, collana Vaporteppa, 28.600 parole, circa 97 pagine, con in aggiunta un saggio di Introduzione alla Bizarro Fiction di 3800 parole a cura di Chiara Gamberetta] |
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From baby bottles and bedding to development and sleep, WebMD's Baby Center helps parents know what newborns need during the first year.
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May 16, 2024 · As a parent you give your children a good start in life—you nurture, protect, and guide them. Learn about developmental milestones, including emotional and social development, …
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Get expert advice on developing your baby's brain, or find tips on topics like teaching your baby to talk and keeping your baby entertained. You can also learn how to bathe an infant, safely clean …
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Get pregnancy information, baby advice and parenting tips at TheBump.com baby website. Create a baby registry and use our pregnancy tools.
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Learn about newborn care, including breastfeeding, baby health, safety, childcare, clothes, diapering, sleep and more from the editors of Parents magazine.
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