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| john gottman worksheets: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work John Gottman, PhD, Nan Silver, 2015-05-05 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Over a million copies sold! “An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent—and long-lasting—marriage.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy. Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else. Packed with new exercises and the latest research out of the esteemed Gottman Institute, this revised edition of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. |
| john gottman worksheets: Eight Dates John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams, Rachel Carlton Abrams, 2019-02-05 Whether you’re newly together and eager to make it work or a longtime couple looking to strengthen and deepen your bond, Eight Dates offers a program of how, why, and when to have eight basic conversations with your partner that can result in a lifetime of love. “Happily ever after” is not by chance, it’s by choice– the choice each person in a relationship makes to remain open, remain curious, and, most of all, to keep talking to one another. From award-winning marriage researcher and bestselling author Dr. John Gottman and fellow researcher Julie Gottman, Eight Dates offers an ingenious and simple-to-implement approach to effective relationship communication. Here are the subjects that every serious couple should discuss: Trust. Family. Sex and intimacy. Dealing with conflict. Work and money. Dreams, and more. And here is how to talk about them—how to broach subjects that are difficult or embarrassing, how to be brave enough to say what you really feel. There are also suggestions for where and when to go on each date—book your favorite romantic restaurant for the Sex & Intimacy conversation (and maybe go to a yoga or dance class beforehand). There are questionnaires, innovative exercises, real-life case studies, and skills to master, including the Four Skills of Intimate Conversation and the Art of Listening. Because making love last is not about having a certain feeling—it’s about both of you being active and involved. |
| john gottman worksheets: And Baby Makes Three John Gottman, PhD, Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, 2007-01-09 Having a baby is a joyous experience, but even the best relationships are strained during the transition from duo to trio. Lack of sleep, never-ending housework, and new fiscal concerns often lead to conflict, disappointment, and hurt feelings. In And Baby Makes Three Love Lab™ experts John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman teach couples the skills from their successful workshops, so partners can avoid the pitfalls of parenthood by: • maintaining intimacy and romance • replacing a culture of criticism and irritability with one of appreciation • preventing post-partum depression • creating a home environment that nurtures physical, emotional, and mental health, as well as cognitive and behavioral development for your baby Complete with exercises that separate the “master” from the “disaster” couples, And Baby Makes Three helps new parents positively manage the strain that comes along with their bundle of joy. |
| john gottman worksheets: What Makes Love Last? John Gottman, John Mordechai Gottman, Nan Silver, 2013-09-10 One of the foremost relationship experts at work today offers creative insight on building trust and avoiding betrayal, helping readers to decode the mysteries of healthy love and relationships-- |
| john gottman worksheets: The Relationship Cure John Gottman, PhD, Joan DeClaire, 2017-02-22 From the country’s foremost relationship expert and New York Times bestselling author Dr. John M. Gottman comes a powerful, simple five-step program, based on twenty years of innovative research, for greatly improving all of the relationships in your life—with spouses and lovers, children, siblings, and even your colleagues at work. Gottman provides the tools you need to make your relationships thrive. In The Relationship Cure, Dr. Gottman: - Reveals the key elements of healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of what he calls “emotional connection” - Introduces the powerful new concept of the emotional “bid,” the fundamental unit of emotional connection - Provides remarkably empowering tools for improving the way you bid for emotional connection and how you respond to others’ bids - And more! Packed with fascinating questionnaires and exercises developed in his therapy, The Relationship Cure offers a simple but profound program that will fundamentally transform the quality of all of the relationships in your life. |
| john gottman worksheets: The Relationship Alphabet Zach Brittle, 2015-07-07 The Relationship Alphabet is an alphabetical survey of relationship topics based on the research of Dr. John Gottman. The book includes insights on communication, conflict management and friendship building. Practical discussion questions make it easy to turn ideas into action. |
| john gottman worksheets: 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) Julie Schwartz Gottman, John M. Gottman, 2015-10-26 From the country’s leading couple therapist duo, a practical guide to what makes it all work. In 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy, two of the world’s leading couple researchers and therapists give readers an inside tour of what goes on inside the consulting rooms of their practice. They have been doing couples work for decades and still find it challenging and full of learning experiences. This book distills the knowledge they've gained over their years of practice into ten principles at the core of good couples work. Each principle is illustrated with a clinically compiled case plus personal side-notes and storytelling. Topics addressed include: • You know that you need to “treat the relationship,” but how are you supposed to get at something as elusive as “a relationship”? • How do you empathize with both clients if they have opposite points of view? Later on, if they end up separating does that mean you’ve failed? Are you only successful if you keep couples together? • Compared to an individual client, a relationship is an entirely different animal. What should you do first? What should you look for? What questions should you ask? If clients give different answers, who should you believe? • What are you supposed to do with all the emotional and personal history that your clients stir up in you? • How can you make your work research-based? No one who works with couples will want to be without the insight, guidance, and strategies offered in this book. |
| john gottman worksheets: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work John Gottman, Ph.D., 2002-02-04 Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages. This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved. Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr. Gottman's workshops, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the result of Dr. John Gottman's many years of closely observing thousands of marriages. This kind of longitudinal research has never been done before. Based on his findings, he has culled seven principles essential to the success of any marriage. Maintain a love map. Foster fondness and admiration. Turn toward instead of away. Accept influence. Solve solvable conflicts. Cope with conflicts you can't resolve. Create shared meaning. Dr. Gottman's unique questionnaires and exercises will guide couples on the road to revitalizing their marriage, or making a strong one even better. |
| john gottman worksheets: The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples John M. Gottman, 2011-05-09 An eminent therapist explains what makes couples compatible and how to sustain a happy marriage. For the past thirty-five years, John Gottman’s research has been internationally recognized for its unprecedented ability to precisely measure interactive processes in couples and to predict the long-term success or failure of relationships. In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship. Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times. Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient. This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together. |
| john gottman worksheets: The Normal Bar Chrisanna Northrup, Pepper Schwartz, James Witte, 2014-01-07 Based on data obtained from nearly 100,000 respondents, here is the ultimate resource for anyone who wants to learn the relationship-tested ways couples can achieve satisfaction and contentment in areas such as communication, sex, affection, and financial cooperation. What constitutes “normal” behavior among happy couples? What steps you should take if that “normal” is one you want to strive for? To help answer those questions, wellness entrepreneur Chrisanna Northrup teamed with two of America’s top sociologists, Yale Ph.D. Pepper Schwartz and Harvard Ph.D. James Witte, to design a unique interactive survey that would draw feedback from around the world. What has resulted is the clearest picture yet of how well couples are communicating, romancing each other, satisfying each other in the bedroom, sharing financial responsibilities, and staying faithful – or not. Since the Normal Bar survey methodology sorts for age and gender, racial and geographic differences and sexual preferences, the authors are able to reveal , for example, what happens to passion as we grow older, which gender wants what when it comes to sex, the factors that spur marital combat, how kids figure in, how being gay or bisexual turns out to be both different and the same, and –regardless of background -- the tiny habits that drive partners absolutely batty. The book is dense with revelations, from the unexpected popularity of certain sexual positions, to the average number of times happy – and unhappy -- couples kiss, to the prevalence of lying, to the surprising loyalty most men and women feel for their partner (even when in a deteriorating relationship), to the vivid and idiosyncratic ways individuals of different ages, genders and nationalities describe their “ideal romantic evening.” Much more than a peek behind the relationship curtain, The Normal Bar offers readers an array of prescriptive tools that will help them establish a “new normal.” Mindful of what keeps couples stuck in ruts, the book’s authors suggest practical and life-changing ways to break cycles of disappointment and frustration. |
| john gottman worksheets: The Man's Guide to Women John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, Douglas Abrams, Rachel Carlton Abrams, M.D., 2016-02-02 Results from world-renowned relationship expert John Gottman’s famous Love Lab have proven an incredible truth: Men make or break relationships. Based on 40 years of research, The Man’s Guide to Women unlocks the mystery of how to attract, satisfy, and succeed with a woman for a lifetime. For the first time ever, there is a science-based answer to the age-old question: What do women really want in a man? Dr. Gottman, author of the New York Times bestseller The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, and his wife and collaborator, clinical psychologist Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, have pored over the research along with bestselling coauthors Douglas Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD. Together, they have written this definitive guide for men, providing answers on everything from how to approach a woman and build a connection with her to how to truly satisfy her in bed and know when the relationship is on the right track. The Man’s Guide to Women is a must-have playbook for how to play—and win—the game of love. |
| john gottman worksheets: Why Marriages Succeed or Fail John Gottman, 2012-12-11 Psychologist John Gottman has spent twenty years studying what makes a marriage last. Now you can use his tested methods to evaluate, strengthen, and maintain your own long-term relationship. This breakthrough book guides you through a series of self-tests designed to help you determine what kind of marriage you have, where your strengths and weaknesses are, and what specific actions you can take to help your marriage. You'll also learn that more sex doesn't necessarily improve a marriage, frequent arguing will not lead to divorce, financial problems do not always spell trouble in a relationship, wives who make sour facial expressions when their husbands talk are likely to be separated within four years and there is a reason husbands withdraw from arguments—and there's a way around it. Dr. Gottman teaches you how to recognize attitudes that doom a marriage—contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling—and provides practical exercises, quizzes, tips, and techniques that will help you understand and make the most of your relationship. You can avoid patterns that lead to divorce, and—Why Marriages Succeed or Fail will show you how. |
| john gottman worksheets: The Come as You Are Workbook Emily Nagoski, 2019-06-11 A new, practical workbook from the New York Times bestselling author of Come As You Are that allows you to apply the book’s groundbreaking research and understanding of why and how women’s sexuality works to everyday life. In the twentieth century, women’s sexuality was seen as “Men’s Sexuality Lite”: basically the same, but not quite as good. From genital response to sexual desire to orgasm, we just couldn’t understand that complicated, inconsistent, crazy-making “lady business.” That is, until Emily Nagoski changed the game with her New York Times bestseller, Come As You Are. Using groundbreaking science and research, she proved that the most important factor in creating and sustaining a sex life filled with confidence and joy is not what the parts are or how they’re organized, but how you feel about them. Which means that things like stress, mood, trust, and body image are not peripheral factors in a woman’s sexual wellbeing; they are central to it. And, that even if you don’t yet feel that way, you are already sexually whole. Nagoski’s book changed countless women’s lives and approaches to sex, and now she offers the next step. The Come As You Are Workbook is a practical companion to this bestselling guide, filled with new activities, prompts, and thought-provoking examples to help you exercise and expand on the knowledge you’ve learned. This collection of worksheets, journaling prompts, illustrations, and diagrams is a practical and engaging companion for anyone who wants to further their understanding of their own bodies and sex lives. |
| john gottman worksheets: ACT with Love Russ Harris, 2023-06-01 Build more compassionate, accepting, and loving relationships with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). Let’s face it: Picture-perfect storybook romances don’t exist in real life. Couples fight. Feelings of love wax and wane through the years. And the stress and tedium of everyday life and work can often drive a wedge between even the most devoted couples. So, how can you reignite passion and intimacy in your relationship, cultivate greater understanding and compassion between yourself and your partner, and bring the joy back to your love life? In this fully revised and updated edition of ACT with Love, therapist and world-renowned ACT expert Russ Harris shows how developing psychological flexibility—the ability to be in the present moment with openness, awareness, and focus, and to take effective action in line with one's values—can help you and your partner strengthen and deepen your relationship. Also included is new information on attachment theory, powerful mindfulness and self-compassion techniques, and assertiveness and boundary-setting skills. ACT with Love will show you how to: Let go of conflict, open up, and live fully in the present Use mindfulness to increase intimacy, connection, and understanding Resolve painful conflicts and reconcile long-standing differences Act on your values to build a rich and meaningful relationship If you’re looking to increase feelings of intimacy, love, and connection with your partner, this book has everything you need to get started—together. |
| john gottman worksheets: Five-Minute Relationship Repair Susan Campbell, PhD,, John Grey, PhD, 2015-01-20 The Tool Kit No Relationship Should Be Without Long-term happiness in love depends on a couple’s ability to repair the inevitable rifts and differences, large and small, that occur in any relationship. Neuroscience suggests that relationship upsets are best mended quickly, or they accumulate in long-term memory, increase reactive communication, and become harder to repair successfully. And good repair takes five minutes or less! This book offers practical tools and suggested scripts for resolving problems and having your needs met. Following its guidance, you can turn difficulties into opportunities to foster love, trust, and thriving intimacy. |
| john gottman worksheets: Couples Therapy Workbook Kathleen Mates-Youngman, LMFT, 2014-10-01 Couples Therapy Workbook is a series of guided questions to promote meaningful couple conversations and build ongoing, connected communication. The core of this unique guide is 30 guided conversations of the most critical relationship struggles. For each of the 30 topics, there is an introduction, goal-setting strategies and 10 scripted questions to ask each other - all presented in an easy-to-use mindful style. Set in a weekly format over 30 days but can be tailored to any timeframe. Designed to be used to couples, and also by therapists working with couples (bonus clinician prep included with each conversation). Week 1- Who Are We? Falling in Love, Friendship, Caring, Acceptance, Empathy, Emotional Intimacy, Rituals Week 2 - Who Am I? Childhood, Family Origin, Temperament, Influences, Spirituality, Values, How I Think Week 3- How do we work? Communication, Conflict, Defensiveness, Intimacy, Trust, Fidelity and Boundaries, Parenting, Staying in Sync Week 4 - What do we want? Romance, Joy and Gratitude, respect, Apologies and Forgiveness, Challenges, Relationship Savings Account, Past, Present & Future, Keeping Connected Reviews: “What a unique resource! A treasure-trove of guided conversations to increase intimacy and friendship. Therapists often ask me for good homework assignments. This book does the thinking for you. Keep it on hand and whether its values, sex, conflict or other challenging issues, you'll have a ready-made way to help your clients make immediate progress.” -- Ellyn Bader, Ph.D, Founder/Director The Couples Institute This is a valuable resource for anyone working with couples. Any couple can profit greatly if they are willing to take Kathleen Youngman's challenge to explore these important topics and discuss these wonderful questions. -- Milan and Kay Yerkovich, Authors of best-selling How We Love series “Instead of offering analysis, advice or theory, The Couples Therapy Workbook offers just that, a set of questions to stimulate conversations that help couples deepen their engagement with each other and reconnect. All couples will find this an exceptional guide, and all therapists will find it an effective instrument to supplement the therapeutic process. I highly recommend it and complement the author on her creativity and attention to the core details of a connected relationship.” --Harville Hendrix, Ph. D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph. D.; Authors of Making Marriage Simple and Getting the Love You Want. |
| john gottman worksheets: Pure Gold Susanne M. Alexander, Craig A. Farnsworth, 2004-07 |
| john gottman worksheets: How We Love Workbook, Expanded Edition Milan Yerkovich, Kay Yerkovich, 2017-07-11 Unlock the secrets to a thriving marriage with this practical and insightful workbook for couples seeking to understand how they can heal and strengthen their relationship. What Determines How You Love? Each of us relates to our spouse based on how we experienced love as a child. In this expanded and enhanced companion workbook to How We Love, relationship experts Milan and Kay Yerkovich offer assessments and conversation starters to help you and your spouse identify your relational patterns and realize how they are affecting you now. Their solution-focused tools help you: • understand why your spouse relates to you the way he or she does • learn how to break free from the barriers that make you feel stuck • see the connection between your personal love style and your childhood • follow specific, clear goals to create a thriving marriage • ask and answer questions strategically with your spouse The Yerkoviches have helped thousands of couples around the world heal and renew their relationships. This eminently practical guide will take your marriage to the new level of intimacy you’ve always wanted. |
| john gottman worksheets: The 80/80 Marriage Nate Klemp PhD, Kaley Klemp, 2021-02-09 NAMED ONE OF COSMOPOLITAN'S 15 BEST MARRIAGE BOOKS ALL COUPLES SHOULD READ. An accessible, transformative guide for couples seeking greater love, connection, and intimacy in our modern world Nate and Kaley Klemp were both successful in their careers, consulting for high-powered companies around the world. Their work as mindfulness and leadership experts, however, often fell to the wayside when they came home in the evening, only to end up fighting about fairness in their marriage. They believed in a model where each partner contributed equally and fairness ruled, but, in reality, they were finding that balance near impossible to achieve. From this frustration, they developed the idea of the 80/80 marriage, a new model for balancing career, family, and love. The 80/80 Marriage pushes couples beyond the limited idea of fairness toward a new model grounded on radical generosity and shared success, one that calls for each partner to contribute 80 percent to build the strongest possible relationship. Drawing from more than one hundred interviews with couples from all walks of life, stories from business and pop culture, scientific studies, and ancient philosophical insights, husband-and-wife team Nate and Kaley Klemp pinpoint exactly what's not working in modern marriage. Their 80/80 model of marriage provides practical, powerful solutions to transform your relationship and open up space for greater love and connection. |
| john gottman worksheets: The Heart of Parenting John Mordechai Gottman, Joan DeClaire, 1997 A professor of psychology details a five-step process called motion coaching that allows parents to raise a child better able to cope with his or her emotions. 35,000 first printing. |
| john gottman worksheets: Reconnected Greg Smalley, Erin Smalley, 2020-04-21 Are You Married to Your Roommate . . . or Your Lover? Whether you’ve been married for six years or six decades, you may wake up one day to discover that the person sleeping next to you has become a stranger. Between work, kids, financial woes, and the busyness of everyday living, your marriage may feel like it’s on life support. You and your spouse love each other, but you’re both barely hanging on. How do you find your way back? How do you reconnect with your spouse and capture all that marriage is intended to be? Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley understand. Despite being hailed as marriage experts, they found themselves living more like roommates than lovers. Through intentional work, they fought their way back, and you can too. In Reconnected, they’ll walk alongside you and your spouse as you learn to reconnect by: Sharing life-giving communicationDreaming together about your futureRekindling romance and passionEmbracing your individuality while coming together as a coupleTransforming your life from one of busyness to one of connection Take your marriage from surviving to thriving. Reconnect with your first love. |
| john gottman worksheets: Wired for Love Stan Tatkin, 2024-06-01 Invaluable for so many partners looking to reconnect and grow closer together. —Gwyneth Paltrow, founder and CEO of goop Stan Tatkin can be entirely followed into the towering infernos of our most painful relationship challenges. —Alanis Morissette, artist, activist, and wholeness advocate The complete “insider’s guide” to understanding your partner’s brain, sparking lasting connection, and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust—now with more than 170,000 copies sold. “What the heck is my partner thinking?” “Why do they always react like this?” “How can we get back that connection we had in the beginning?” If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions, you aren’t alone, and it doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed. Every person is wired for love differently—with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people’s minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and routines, making it possible to neurologically prime the brain for greater love and connection and fewer conflicts. This go-to guide will show you how. Drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this highly anticipated second edition of Wired for Love presents cutting-edge research on how and why love lasts, and offers ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship. This fully revised and updated edition also includes new guidance on how to manage disagreements, as well as new exercises to help you create a sense of safety and security, establish healthy conflict ground rules, and deal with the threat of the third—any outside source which threatens the harmony in your relationship, including in-laws, alcohol, children, and affairs. You’ll find proven-effective strategies to help you strengthen your relationship by: Creating and maintaining a safe “couple bubble” Using morning and evening routines to stay connected Learning how to see your partner’s point of view Meeting each other halfway in a fight Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By using simple gestures and words, you’ll learn to put out emotional fires and help your partner feel appreciated and loved. You’ll also discover how to move past a “warring brain” mentality and toward a more cooperative “loving brain.” Most importantly, you’ll gain a better understanding of the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships. While there’s no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you understand how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences, and create a lasting intimate connection. |
| john gottman worksheets: Easier Ways to Say I Love You Lucy Fry, 2020-02-06 A memoir on love, lust and attachment: one woman's remarkable and candid account of transforming a difficult and uncomfortable love triangle into an honest polyamorous relationship. Lucy Fry's story opens with the heady and impassioned affair she embarked on during her wife's pregnancy. It is a relationship that appears to be unstoppable, perhaps even addictive, despite guilt and self questioning. With intense and unflinching honesty, she takes us on a compelling journey from childhood trauma and addiction to sobriety, from infidelity to ethical non-monogamy, and—perhaps most intensely of all—from her fear of parenthood to her exquisite joy at having a son. L and B's love for their new baby, 'The Boy', changes the dynamic once again. They fumble through early parenthood, in a way that many will recognise, while at the same time trying to fathom and fashion a unique journey of their own. |
| john gottman worksheets: Meta-Emotion John Mordechai Gottman, Lynn Fainsilber Katz, Carole Hooven, 2013-02-01 This book describes research on the emotional communication between parents and children and its effect on the children's emotional development. Inspired by the work, and dedicated to the memory of Dr. Haim Ginott, it presents the results of initial exploratory work with meta-emotion--feelings about feelings. The initial study of meta-emotion generated some theory and made it possible to propose a research agenda. Clearly replication is necessary, and experiments are needed to test the path analytic models which have been developed from the authors' correlational data. The authors hope that other researchers will find these ideas interesting and stimulating, and will inspire investigation in this exciting new area of a family's emotional life. |
| john gottman worksheets: Treating the Traumatized Child Scott P. Sells, Ellen Souder, MA, LPCC-S, 2017-12-15 This book builds upon my early work and the work and others by offering a comprehensive guide to practitioners interested in facing and helping to heal trauma and manage the drama systemically with a special focus on children and adolescents. The FST Model is a contribution to the fields of trauma, family sciences, and human development practice. --Charles R. Figley, PhD; Kurzweg Chair in Disaster Mental Health at Tulane University in New Orleans This is the first book that addresses trauma treatment for child and adolescents using a Family Systems Trauma (FST) model which goes beyond individual therapy to include the child and their entire family. Co-written by a renowned family therapist who created the Parenting with Love and Limits® model, it delivers a research-based , step-by-step approach that incorporates the child’s immediate family along with their extended family to treat the traumatized child or adolescent. Using a stress chart, the child or adolescent's trauma symptoms are quickly identified. This strategy guides therapists in accurately diagnosing root causes of the child's trauma and culminates in the creation of co-created wound playbooks to heal trauma in both the child as well as other family members. Additional helpful features include extensive case examples, a menu of trauma techniques, wound playbook examples, evaluation forms, client handouts, and other practical tools to provide the therapist with a complete guide to implementing this approach. Child and family therapists, social workers, mental health counselors, and psychologists working in a variety of settings will find this book a valuable resource. Key Features: Provides a step-by-step, practice focused, time-limited model Uses a family systems approach for addressing child and adolescent trauma--the only book of its kind Includes useful tools such as checklists, client handouts, and evaluation forms |
| john gottman worksheets: Emotional and Sexual Intimacy in Marriage Marcus Kusi, Ashley Kusi, 2017-03-09 How to connect or reconnect with your spouse, grow together, and strengthen your marriage - EVEN if you don't know where to start. Do you feel something is missing in your marriage? Do you feel like roommates? Are you worried about drifting apart? Do you ever miss the connection you once had? Do you want to fall in love again so you can rekindle intimacy in your marriage? Needless to say, you are not alone. The truth is, we all want to feel loved and desired by the person we have committed to spend the rest of our life with. Somewhere along the journey, life gets in the way; busy schedules, pregnancies, kids, health issues, looming work deadlines, career changes, unexpected life and family events, etc. Your spouse is physically present with you, but it feels like they are miles away. The spark and excitement is starting to wane. You are slowly growing apart. The sad truth is this: Lack of intimacy in marriage can easily lead to resentment, anger, frustrations, feeling neglected, miserable, and even divorce. But, don't give up yet. No matter how hopeless you feel about the state of your marriage, we believe you can rekindle intimacy with your spouse. Because it happened to us too. We used to be just like you, missing that deep connection, meaningful conversations, and excitement we had when we first met. However, we have used what we share in this book to reconnect, grow together, and rekindle intimacy in our marriage; emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, physically, sexually, and much more. As a result, we now have a healthier, happier, sexier, and satisfying marriage. In this book, you will learn how to: 1. Connect or reconnect with your spouse so that you can rekindle your marriage, without breaking your budget. 2. Overcome emotional, physical, and sexual intimacy issues like mismatched sexual desires in the bedroom. 3. Communicate your feelings with courage, even when you are hurt, frustrated, or angry. 4. Create a safe haven so you can be vulnerable with each other without feeling judged. 5. Deal with anxiety about intimacy for yourself or your spouse. 6. The 5 simple things we do every day that has been proven to strengthen intimacy in many marriages; even if you don’t have much time. 7. More than 52 conversation starters for deeper conversations, building trust, intellectual and emotional intimacy. 8. The different forms of intimacy every couple needs to know so you can build that intimate connection you both desire. 9. Over 69 simple, yet effective ways to rekindle intimacy, romance, and the passion you once had. Plus, the 30-Day and 12-Month intimacy challenge for couples; which is about practicing intimacy in your marriage every single day. You see, a marriage without emotional and sexual intimacy is bound to be unfulfilling. So, if you want to enhance intimacy in your marriage, rekindle the romance, and have satisfying sex with your spouse, then this book is for you. More importantly, Emotional and Sexual Intimacy in Marriage will change the way you relate with your spouse, live your marriage, and make intimacy a part of your daily life - starting today! Scroll to the top to buy your copy of this intimacy book for couples today. --------------- Keywords related to this intimacy book for couples: Intimacy book for couples, emotional intimacy, sexual intimacy, intimacy in marriage, how to reconnect with your spouse, how to connect with spouse, intimacy book for married couples, marriage books, marriage books for couples, newlyweds book, books for couples, marriage help books, relationship help books, relationship books, books for couples, books for married couples, physical intimacy, rekindle marriage, rekindle relationship, rekindle intimacy, intimacy anorexia, fear of intimacy, fear of intimacy, lack of intimacy, forms of intimacy, rekindle romance, |
| john gottman worksheets: Take Back Your Marriage William Joseph Doherty, 2013-07-24 All couples walk to the altar dreaming of happily-ever-after, but many forces in our society work against healthy lifelong commitment. Renowned family therapist William J. Doherty reveals how cracks can develop in even a rock-solid marriage, and what steps you can take to keep your love strong. Learn ways to break free of common traps like confusing desires with needs, comparing your spouse to your fantasies of other relationships, or becoming overtime parents instead of full-time partners. You'll get suggestions for creating relationship rituals--from mundane to celebratory, sexy to silly--that build closeness and connection every day. The updated second edition incorporates Dr. Doherty's ongoing experience counseling couples, plus the latest information on marriage and health, how divorce affects kids, the impact of new technologies on family life, and more. Winner--Best Self-Help Book, ForeWord Magazine's Book of the Year Awards |
| john gottman worksheets: Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy For Dummies Brent Bradley, James Furrow, 2013-07-15 A practical, down-to-earth guide to using the world's most successful approach to couple therapy One of the most successful therapeutic approaches to healing dysfunctional relationships, emotionally focused couple therapy provides clients with powerful insights into how and why they may be suppressing their emotions and teaches them practical ways to deal with those feelings more constructively for improved relationships. Unlike cognitive-behavioural therapy, which provides effective short-term coping skills, emotionally focused therapy often is prescribed as a second-stage treatment for couples with lingering emotional difficulties. Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy For Dummies introduces readers to this ground-breaking therapy, offering simple, proven strategies and tools for dealing with problems with bonding, attachment and emotions, the universal cornerstones of healthy relationships. An indispensable resource for readers who would like to manage their relationship problems independently through home study Delivers powerful techniques for dealing with unpleasant emotions, rather than repressing them and for responding constructively to complex relationship issues The perfect introduction to EFT basics for therapists considering expanding their practices to include emotionally focused therapy methods Packed with fascinating and instructive case studies and examples of EFT in action, from the authors' case files Provides valuable guidance on finding, selecting and working with the right EFT certified therapist |
| john gottman worksheets: The Uncontrollable Child Matis Miller, 2021-04-01 Evidence-based skills, insight, and methods drawn from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) to help you gain a greater understanding of your child’s behavior, parent them with compassion and confidence, and restore peace to your home. Is your child extremely irritable most of the time? Do they have difficulty interpreting social cues? Are they impulsive and prone to outbursts or explosive rages? Parenting a child who has emotional dysregulation can be a bumpy ride. You’ve probably received advice—some of it unsolicited—from friends, teachers, and family members. But strategies and techniques that work for other kids are usually ineffective when it comes to your unique child, and can even lead to more stress for everyone in your family. The Uncontrollable Child is here to help. Written for parents of children with emotion dysregulation disorders, including disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (DMDD), The Uncontrollable Child is a lifeline. It contains a powerful set of skills based in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)—including mindfulness, validation, limit-setting, and behavior-shaping—to help you better understand your child and their behavior, and successfully find balance between acceptance and change, flexibility and consistency, and limits and love. As a parent, you want the very best for your child, but if you have a child with explosive emotions, you need extra help. Let this book guide you toward creating a nurturing, healthy, and loving environment in which your whole family can thrive. |
| john gottman worksheets: After the Affair Janis A. Spring, 2008-07-08 After the Affair teaches partners how to heal themselves and grow from the shattering crisis of an infidelity. Drawing on thirty-five years as a clinical psychologist, Dr. Spring offers a series of original and proven strategies that address such questions as: Why did it happen? Once love and trust are gone, can we ever get them back? Can I—should I—recommit when I feel so ambivalent? How do we become sexually intimate again? Is forgiveness possible? What constitutes an affair in cyberspace? |
| john gottman worksheets: The High-Conflict Couple Alan Fruzzetti, 2006-12-03 You hear and read a lot about ways to improve your relationship. But if you've tried these without much success, you're not alone. Many highly reactive couples—pairs that are quick to argue, anger, and blame—need more than just the run-of-the-mill relationship advice to solve their problems in love. When destructive emotions are at the heart of problems in your relationship, no amount of effective communication or intimacy building will fix what ails it. If you're part of a high-conflict couple, you need to get control of your emotions first, to stop making things worse, and only then work on building a better relationship. The High-Conflict Couple adapts the powerful techniques of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) into skills you can use to tame out-of-control emotions that flare up in your relationship. Using mindfulness and distress tolerance techniques, you'll learn how to deescalate angry situations before they have a chance to explode into destructive fights. Other approaches will help you disclose your fears, longings, and other vulnerabilities to your partner and validate his or her experiences in return. You'll discover ways to manage problems with negotiation, not conflict, and to find true acceptance and closeness with the person you love the most. This book has been awarded The Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Seal of Merit — an award bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives. |
| john gottman worksheets: NOT "Just Friends" Shirley Glass, 2007-11-01 One of the world’s leading experts on infidelity provides a step-by-step guide through the process of infidelity—from suspicion and revelation to healing, and provides profound, practical guidance to prevent infidelity and, if it happens, recover and heal from it. You’re right to be cautious when you hear these words: “I’m telling you, we’re just friends.” Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage. |
| john gottman worksheets: Getting Past the Affair Douglas K. Snyder, Donald H. Baucom, Kristina Coop Gordon, 2007-01-06 This book has been replaced by Getting Past the Affair, Second Edition, ISBN 978-1-4625-4748-7. |
| john gottman worksheets: Getting the Love You Want Workbook Harville Hendrix, Helen LaKelly Hunt, 2007-11-01 This newly revised and updated companion study guide to the 2019 edition of the New York Times bestseller Getting the Love You Want. In 1988, Harville Hendrix, in partnership with his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt, published a terrifically successful relationship guide called Getting the Love You Want. The book introduced thousands to their Imago Relationship Therapy, a unique healing process for couples, prospective couples, and parents, and developed into an overnight sensation. For their part, Doctors Hendrix and Hunt managed to aid scores of couples in their plight for more loving, supportive, and deeply satisfying relationships. Now, more than a decade later, this companion book picks up where its predecessor left off, delving further into relationship therapy to help transform relationships into lasting sources of love and companionship. The Getting the Love You Want Workbook is designed for the hundreds of thousands of couples who have attended Imago workshops since Getting the Love You Want hit bookstands, as well as new and curious ones seeking a practical route back to intimacy and passionate friendship. The workbook contains a unique twelve-week course (The New Couples’ Study Guide) designed to help work through the exercises published in Part III of Getting the Love You Want. For those of us struggling to maintain our most precious relationships, the Getting the Love You Want Workbook helps us grow aware of our individual, unconscious agenda while steering us towards a more harmonious link with our loved ones that will satisfy our deepest needs. |
| john gottman worksheets: Disarming the Narcissist Wendy T. Behary, 2013-07-01 Do you know someone who is overly arrogant, shows an extreme lack of empathy, or exhibits an inflated sense of entitlement? Do they exploit others, or engage in magical thinking? These are all traits of narcissistic personality disorder, and when it comes to dealing with narcissists, it can be difficult to get your point across. So how do you handle the narcissistic people in your life? You might interact with them in social or professional settings, and you might even love one—so ignoring them isn’t really a practical solution. They're frustrating, and maybe even intimidating, but ultimately, you need to find a way of communicating effectively with them. Disarming the Narcissist, Second Edition, will show you how to move past the narcissist's defenses using compassionate, empathetic communication. You'll learn how narcissists view the world, how to navigate their coping styles, and why, oftentimes, it's sad and lonely being a narcissist. By learning to anticipate and avoid certain hot-button issues, you'll be able to relate to narcissists without triggering aggression. By validating some common narcissistic concerns, you'll also find out how to be heard in conversation with a narcissist. This book will help you learn to meet your own needs while side-stepping unproductive power struggles and senseless arguments with someone who is at the center of his or her own universe. This new edition also includes new chapters on dealing with narcissistic women, aggressive and abusive narcissists, strategies for safety, and the link between narcissism and sex addiction. Finally, you'll learn how to set limits with your narcissist and when it's time to draw the line on unacceptable behavior. |
| john gottman worksheets: The Science of Making Friends Elizabeth Laugeson, 2013-09-10 The groundbreaking book that puts the focus on teens and young adults with social challenges This book offers parents a step-by-step guide to making and keeping friends for teens and young adults with social challenges—such as those diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, ADHD, bipolar, or other conditions. With the book’s concrete rules and steps of social etiquette, parents will be able to assist in improving conversational skills, expanding social opportunities, and developing strategies for handling peer rejection. Each chapter provides helpful overview information for parents; lessons with clear bulleted lists of key rules and steps; and expert advice on how to present the material to a teen or young adult. Throughout the book are role-playing exercises for practicing each skill, along with homework assignments to ensure the newly learned skills can be applied easily to a school, work, or other real life setting. Bonus content shows role-plays of skills covered, demonstrating the right and wrong way to enter conversations, schedule get-togethers, deal with conflict, and much more. PART ONE: GETTING READY Ch. 1: Why Teach Social Skills to Teens and Young Adults? PART TWO: THE SCIENCE OF DEVELOPING AND MAINTAINING FRIENDSHIPS Ch. 2: Finding and Choosing Good Friends Ch. 3: Good Conversations: The Basics Ch. 4: Starting and Entering Conversations Ch. 5: Exiting Conversations Ch. 6: Managing Electronic Communication Ch. 7: Showing Good Sportsmanship Ch. 8: Enjoying Successful Get-Togethers PART THREE: THE SCIENCE OF HANDLING PEER CONFLICT AND REJECTION: HELPFUL STRATEGIES Ch. 9: Dealing With Arguments Ch. 10: Handling Verbal Teasing Ch. 11: Addressing Cyber Bullying Ch. 12: Minimizing Rumors and Gossip Ch. 13: Avoiding Physical Bullying Ch. 14: Changing a Bad Reputation Epilogue: Moving Forward |
| john gottman worksheets: Somatic Psychotherapy Toolbox Manuela Mischke-Reeds, 2018-07-10 Whether you're new to somatic approaches or a seasoned practitioner, this toolbox will be a game-changer in your work. From over 25 years of clinical experience, Manuela Mischke-Reeds, MA, LMFT, has created the go-to resource for mental health therapists who want to incorporate somatic techniques into their daily practice. Highly-effective for clients dealing with trauma and stress disorders, somatic psychotherapy is the future of healing the entire person-body and mind. Section-by-section, this toolbox guide the clinician through: - Targeted somatic interventions for trauma, stress and PTSD - Steps to incorporate the body into your current therapeutic approach - Mindfulness techniques and breath work - Starting guidelines, safety concerns and keys to success - Getting to know their own body to better use body work with clients |
| john gottman worksheets: I Do! Jim Walkup, 2019-04-16 Strengthen Your Bond, Strengthen Your Marriage Planning a meaningful wedding is important. Planning for a happy and satisfying marriage is critical. Through in-depth, thought-provoking exercises, I Do! A Marriage Workbook for Engaged Couples helps prospective partners grow their love and solidify their partnership as they prepare to walk down the aisle together. From money to intimacy, this marriage workbook helps you dig deep into your relationship over the course of 7 chapters--each focusing on a different part of married life. Gain insight into each other and discover ways to feel closer before you finally and happily say, I do! I Do! A Marriage Workbook for Engaged Couples includes: LOVE, SEX, AND MONEY--Prepare for married life by exploring and sharing your feelings on communication, money, intimacy, children, beliefs and values, family and friends, and work. IN-DEPTH EXERCISES--Learn more about your partner through various exercises, including writing prompts, true/false questionnaires, worksheets, partner discussions, and more. TOOLS TO TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL--Use this marriage workbook's exercises as springboards for a deeper exploration into your relationship. Deepen your connection and prepare for your marriage with I Do! A Marriage Workbook for Engaged Couples. |
| john gottman worksheets: Couples Therapy Homework Planner Gary M. Schultheis, Steffanie Alexander O'Hanlon, Bill O'Hanlon, 2010-07-28 Features new and updated assignments and exercises to meet the changing needs of mental health professionals The Couples Therapy Homework Planner, Second Edition provides you with an array of ready-to-use, between-session assignments designed to fit virtually every therapeutic mode. This easy-to-use sourcebook features: 71 ready-to-copy exercises covering the most common issues encountered by couples in therapy, such as financial conflict, infidelity, work/home role strain, and separation and divorce A quick-reference format—the interactive assignments are grouped by behavioral problems including improving communications, handling parenting problems, and resolving sexual issues Expert guidance on how and when to make the most efficient use of the exercises Assignments are cross-referenced to The Couples Psychotherapy Treatment Planner, Second Edition—so you can quickly identify the right exercise for a given situation or problem A download code that contains all the exercises in a word-processing format—allowing you to customize them to suit you and your clients’ unique styles and needs Additional resources in the PracticePlanners® series: Treatment Planners cover all the necessary elements for developing formal treatment plans, including detailed problem definitions, long-term goals, short-term objectives, therapeutic interventions, and DSMTM diagnoses. Progress Notes Planners contain complete, prewritten progress notes for each presenting problem in the companionTreatment Planners. For more information on our PracticePlanners® products, including our full line of Treatment Planners, visit us on the Web at: www.wiley.com/practiceplanners |
| john gottman worksheets: Marriage Can Be Forever--Preparation Counts! Susanne M. Alexander, Johanna Merritt Wu, 2003-01-01 |
The Gottman Love Map Exercise - NewPathCentre
Resilient couples have developed a “map” of their relation-ship and its …
Aftermath of a Failed Bid To Connect - Webflow
Drs. John and Julie Gottman. tools! This exercise is a guide for processing …
Gottman Repair Checklist
Gottman Repair Checklist. I Feel. 1. I’m getting scared. 2. Please say that …
THE LOVE MAPS QUESTIONS - Love Your People Well
Copyright © 2016 by John M. Gottman, Ph.D., and Julie Gottman, Ph.D. …
The Sound Relationship House Questionnaires (5 item scale)
Sometimes I don’t feel important to my partner. My partner has forced me to …
The Gottman Love Map Exercise - NewPathCentre
Resilient couples have developed a “map” of their relation-ship and its history—one that embraces each person’s concerns, preferences, experiences, and reality. To help you learn more about …
Aftermath of a Failed Bid To Connect - Webflow
Drs. John and Julie Gottman. tools! This exercise is a guide for processing what happened after a failed bid to connect emotionally. This is the major source of couples’ conflicts. This exercise is …
Gottman Repair Checklist
Gottman Repair Checklist. I Feel. 1. I’m getting scared. 2. Please say that more gently. 3. Did I do something wrong? 4. That hurt my feelings. 5. That felt like an insult. 6. I’m feeling sad. 7. I feel …
THE LOVE MAPS QUESTIONS - Love Your People Well
Copyright © 2016 by John M. Gottman, Ph.D., and Julie Gottman, Ph.D. Distributed under license by The Gottman Institute. ASKING OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS. Now that you understand the …
The Sound Relationship House Questionnaires (5 item scale)
Sometimes I don’t feel important to my partner. My partner has forced me to do some things against my principles, or to do things that I find objectionable, repulsive, or disgusting. My …
Lesson 2 - GottSex
• “What do you feel is not going as well as you’d like?” • “How are you doing, baby?” • “How is life treating you? Talk to me. I’m listening.” After you have started, take a look the skills below. …
The Sound Relationship House - Craig Tucker, LCSW
The Walls of the House: The walls of the house are made up of the amount of trust and commitment that's been built up in a relationship. When all is fitly joined together, the …
The Gottman 19 Areas Checklist for Solvable and Perpetual …
1. We are staying emotionally connected o, or becoming emotionally distant o. Check all the specific items below: Not a problem .
Exercise 1: “I Appreciate…” - Welcome to Lifebuilders Counseling
Exercise 1: “I Appreciate...”. From the list below, circle three items that you think are characteristic of your partner. If there are more then three, circle just three. (You can choose to circle another …
Gottman Open Ended Questions - Growing Edges
Gottman Open Ended Questions. All of the above questions will help you develop greater personal insight and a more de- tailed map of each other's life and world. Getting to know your …
Relationships: Bids for Connection - PEPS
In research led by John Gottman, at the Relationship Research Institute, they observed married couples in interaction. They found one vital indicator of how likely the couple is to stay together …
Exercise 1: “I Appreciate…” - Couplestrong
Exercise 1: “I Appreciate...” The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. by John M. Gottman, PH.D , and Nan Silver. From the list below, circle three items that you think are characteristic of …
NCIPLE 1: ENHANCE YOUR LOVE MAPS - Green Space Therapy
Gottman. J (2000). Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Orion House, London. Love Maps Questionnaire . By giving honest answers to the following questions, you will get a sense of the …
This clinical tool consists of 480 questions about ... - John Gottman
This clinical tool consists of 480 questions about friendship, intimacy, how well you know your part-A. new online assessment by Drs. John that and Julie Gottman in collaboration with The …
Love Map Questionnaire - Integral Psychology
Gottman, John and Nan Silver: The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide From the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert (New York: Three Rivers Press, …
Successful Relationships Counselling that works - Vivian Baruch
What is your partner's favorite side of the bed? Copyright © 2000—2011 by Dr. John M. Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman. Distributed under license by The Gottman Relationship …
THE SOUND RELATIONSHIP HOUSE THEORY - John Gottman
THE SOUND RELATIONSHIP HOUSE THEORY . man, Ph.D. and Julie Gottman, Ph. Pioneers relationships, couples. The in relationship approach to help couples and couples Relationship …
Aftermath of a Fight or Regrettable Incident - Candice Wu
The Gottman Institute (2013) Introduction: This guidebook is for “processing” past fights, regrettable incidents, or past emotional injuries. “Processing” means that you can talk about …
Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work By John Gottman
By John Gottman. Principle 1: Enhance your Love Map. Emotionally intelligent couples are intimately familiar with each other’s world. Pay attention to what is going on with partner and …
Gottman Repair Checklist - Allison Rice Therapy & Associates
Gottman Repair Checklist I Feel I'm getting scared. Please say that more gently. Did I do something wrong? That hurt my feelings. That felt like an insult. I'm feeling sad. I feel blamed. …
