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| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Will I Ever be Good Enough? Karyl McBride, 2008 The first book specifically for daughters suffering from the emotional abuse of selfish, self-involved mothers,Will I Ever Be Good Enough?provides the expert assistance you need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim your life for yourself. Drawing on over two decades of experience as a therapist specializing in women's psychology and health, psychotherapist Dr. Karyl McBride helpsyou recognize the widespread effects of this maternal emotional abuse and guides you as you create an individualized program for self-protection, resolution, and complete recovery.An estimated 1.5 million American women have narcissistic personality disorder, which makes them so insecure and overbearing, insensitive and domineering that they can psychologically damage their daughters for life. Daughters of narcissistic mothers learn that maternal love is not unconditional, and that it is given only when they behave in accordance with their mothers' often unreasonable expectations and whims. As adults, these daughters consequently have difficulty overcoming their insecurities and feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, sadness, and emotional emptiness. They may also have a terrible fear of abandonment that leads them to form unhealthy love relationships, as well as a tendency to perfectionism and unrelenting self-criticism, or to self-sabotage and frustration.Herself the recovering daughter of a narcissistic mother, Dr. McBride includes her personal struggle, which adds a profound level of authority to her work, along with the perspectives of the hundreds of suffering daughters she's interviewed over the years. Their stories of how maternal abuse has manifested in their lives -- as well as how they have successfully overcome its effects -- show you that you're not alone and that you can take back your life and have the controlyouwant.Dr. McBride's step-by-step program will enable you to:(1) Recognize your own experience with maternal narcissism and its effects on all aspects of your life (2) Discover how you have internalized verbal and nonverbal messages from your mother and how these have translated into a strong desire to overachieve or a tendency to self-sabotage (3) Construct a step-by-step program to reclaim your life and enhance your sense of self, a process that includes creating a psychological separation from your mother and breaking the legacy of abuse. You will also learn how not to repeat your mother's mistakes with your own daughter.Warm and sympathetic, filled with the examples of women who have established healthy boundaries with their hurtful mothers,Will I Ever Be Good Enough?encourages and inspires you as it aids your recovery. |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Karyl McBride, 2008-09-23 From experienced family therapist Dr. Karyl McBride, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? is an essential guide to recovery for women with selfish, emotionally abusive, and toxic mothers—designed to help daughters reclaim their lives. The first book for daughters who have suffered the abuse of narcissistic, self-involved mothers, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? provides the expert assistance you need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim your life. Drawing on more than two decades of experience as a therapist specializing in women’s health and hundreds of interviews with suffering daughters, Dr. Karyl McBride helps you recognize the widespread effects of this emotional abuse and create an individualized program for self-protection, resolution, and complete recovery. Narcissistic mothers teach their daughters that love is not unconditional, that it is given only when they behave in accordance with maternal expectations and whims. As adults, these daughters have difficulty overcoming feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, emotional emptiness, and sadness. They may also have a fear of abandonment that leads them to form unhealthy romantic relationships, as well as a tendency to perfectionism and unrelenting self-criticism or to self-sabotage and frustration. Dr. McBride’s step-by-step program will enable you to: (1) Recognize your own experience with maternal narcissism and its effects on all aspects of your life (2) Discover how you have internalized verbal and nonverbal messages from your mother and how these have translated into overachievement or self-sabotage (3) Construct a personalized program to take control of your life and enhance your sense of self, establishing healthy boundaries with your mother and breaking the legacy of abuse Warm and sympathetic, Dr. McBride brings a profound level of authority to Will I Ever Be Good Enough? that encourages and inspires you as it aids your recovery. |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: You're Not Crazy - It's Your Mother Danu Morrigan, 2021-05-27 A comprehensively revised and expanded new edition of Danu Morrigan's #1 bestselling book, which has helped tens of thousands of daughters of narcissistic mothers around the world.Do you find yourself emotionally bruised, upset and confused after being in touch with your mother? Do you somehow feel like you're not a real person in her company? If so, you are far from alone. Millions of daughters experience the samehall-of-mirrors dizziness. Many of them have come to the conclusion that their mother has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and that explains all that they have suffered. This book explores this - maybe it will resonate for you the same way and make you feel understood and validated as never before.This new edition includes a wealth of new insight and understanding learned by Danu over the last ten years, including: Clarity about escaping the toxic dynamic, through The Four Steps to Freedom; managing our fear of regretting our decisions; how Stories steer us without us realising; the NM's performative kindness and performative love; overcoming the trap of The Silent Treatment; distinguishing narcissistic 'niceness' from genuine decency; how to recognise, get, and contribute to healthy relationships. |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Narcissistic Mothers and Grown Up Daughters Cecilia Overt, 2019-12-17 You are about to Learn How to Stop Your Mother's Manipulative Strategies in Their Tracts to Have Your Life, Peace Of Mind And Sanity Back! There are mothers, in the traditional sense of the word mother, who would do anything for their children, irrespective of whether they are young or old with families of their own. And then there are narcissistic mothers, who are the complete opposite of 'traditional mothers'; lying, manipulative, always wanting to get their way, always striving to become the center of attention, always turning things around to be about them, never apologetic, never taking responsibility and much more. If your mother falls in the 2nd category, you know just how tiring, helpless and thankless your relationship with her can get. And the guilt and sense of obligation you may feel as an adult child could literally drive you nuts, as you feel the need to keep everything secret and maintain the rosy image that your narcissistic mother has held for years! Where do you even start? You probably have lots of questions... What goes on in her mind to want to unleash her manipulative tactics on you? How can you spot her manipulative and narcissistic strategies from getting through to you? How can you build a relationship with your mother when she just seems like she is out to annoy you on purpose, oppose you for the sake of it and just never offer any help like other 'normal' mothers do? How can you heal from the trauma and abuse that she has brought on you throughout the years? When do you decide enough is enough and develop the courage to cut ties with your mother, even if it hurts you deeply? If you have these and other related questions, this book seeks to answer them all so keep reading, as it covers the ins and outs of turning a new leaf in your life as you deal with your narcissistic mother. More precisely, the book covers: The basics about narcissistic personality disorder, including what it looks like so that you can spot it, the causes as well as the different remedies for narcissistic personality disorder How narcissistic tendencies manifest in mothers, so that you can tell whether your mother is truly narcissistic The different types of narcissistic mothers How a narcissistic mother especially affects her daughters through her tendencies The effects of being raised by a narcissistic parent, including how manipulation occurs, how a narcissistic parent influences your mindset, your emotional balance, self-discipline and other facets of your life The tools that your narcissistic mother may have been using on you to gain control, including how to spot these tools in action and take action How to develop the courage to cut ties with your mother and start healing And much more Being brought up by such a mother can literally alter your view of the role of parents, and mothers in particular. It can make you hate to be a parent; because you don't want to make your children to go through the pain you went through. And even if you become a parent, it can be hard to know how to parent your children; because you have nothing to guide you on how to parent your children properly. Lucky for you, this book takes an easy to follow, step by step approach to help you end the manipulation and mind games that your narcissistic mother or any member of your family has been playing on you. Don't wait any longer... Click Buy Now With 1-Click or Buy Now to get started! |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Narcissistic Mothers Lea Heal, 2020-12-22 Buy the Paperback Version of this Book on Amazon.com and get the Kindle Book version for FREE If you feel overwhelmed by living with a narcissistic mother or cannot get rid of the trauma, then keep reading.. Helping a person with narcissism to heal is a challenging endeavor. You need to come up with a strategy to internalize and practice what you learn in this book. While you are working within this relationship, make sure you take care of yourself. This is important and requires respect for the model to work. Consult frequently. After each meeting, debrief. Exercise your health and wellbeing and take care of it. Do not customize the activities of narcissistic individuals. Inside you will find an in-depth analysis of the disorder to enhance your understanding about it. As a result, you may change your perception about it and eventually view the victims differently. Similarly, a clear understanding puts off the myths and misconceptions associated with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and gain grounds to support you in case of bullying or misinformation. Anyone can go through this and no one should be discriminated for such an experience. Mothers with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are more likely to seek therapy if they see it as a means to mend relationships. An important barrier to obtaining adequate professional therapy for narcissistic personality disorder arises from the nature of the disorder itself, as those afflicted with it are often unwilling or even unable to acknowledge the problem's presence. A significant first step in promoting someone with NPD to undergo therapy is to convince them that the issue needs to be addressed. Keep in mind that it can be hard to circumvent someone with NPDs defense mechanisms and persuade them of the need for therapy. Approaching the situation without judgment or blame is useful and acknowledging that recovery is likely to be a long and continuous method. Only then will we be able to recognize our children, especially daughters, for who they are and help them achieve their complete, distinctive potential. Inside you will find: - In-depth analysis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) that includes cause and treatment. - The different faces of narcissism and their distinct characteristics - Common characteristics of NPD and how to tell the extent of the disorder. - The roles that fathers should play to protect their daughters from narcissistic mothers. - Effects that you might experience in case your narcissistic mother is harsh on you and if nothing is done to stop it. - How the disorder affects your relationship with your mother both in the short and long term - Various ways that have proven to treat the disorder and how to go about them - How easy and feasible ending the narcissism legacy is. Learn more now! Scroll Up and Click the Buy Now Button to Get Your Copy NOW! |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: NARCISSISTIC MOTHERS Maria Shahida Emma Daughters, 2020-10-03 Are you a son with a narcissist mother and emotionally immature parents? Do you want healing and recovery from emotional abuse.? If yes, then keep reading... Men that grow up with a narcissistic mother have almost definitely suffered from emotional abuse. It is shown in just about every one of the narcissist's actions. They will truly try to control you and make you feel as if you are nothing. Recovering from this and learning how to deal with it can be difficult but there are definitely ways that you can protect yourself from further emotional abuse. Most people are very familiar with what physical abuse is as it's easy to see and it, unfortunately, runs rampant around the world. Emotional or mental abuse can be harder to pinpoint. It can happen at any point in our lives and is just as detrimental, if not more detrimental, then physical abuse. Perhaps someone abused your trust to the point where your entire reality was flipped upside-down and inside out, leaving you with deep doubts and confusion that threaten your very perception of what's real and what's not. You lost trust in yourself, others, and likely even the universe/god. The repetitive experience of fear, terror, deceit, betrayal, and loneliness has shaped your life in some major way after narcissistic abuse. It's normal that your trust has been wounded and the good news is that it can be recovered. After months or years of abuse, your sense of trust is deeply damaged. You will be given a roadmap out of the suffering and struggle after narcissistic abuse in the chapters of this book that include: What is a narcissistic personality disorder? Types of narcissism Forms of narcissistic abuse Covert narcissistic mothers How to deal with a narcissistic mother? Effects of being raised by a narcissistic parent Implications of narcissistic abuse on the victims How to handle a narcissistic mother Healing and protecting yourself Steps to recovery Stop the cycle of narcissism ...And Much More If the abusive patterns began in childhood, your whole nervous system was programmed to respond in certain ways to people and stimuli in the environment and this will continue unchecked into adulthood until you gain self-awareness around this issue and start transforming your life through the practice of self-care. It was not your fau A mother showing one face to the world and an entirely different face to her children causes confusion to the children who will likely grow up to attract similar types of abusive people. Their nervous system recognizes abusive behavior as familiar and normal and they could ultimately turn out to be abusers themselves. You must be fully aware of what the entire spectrum of your abuse dynamic looks like, or at least be aware of the basic foundation of it all. Ready to get started ? Click Buy Now! |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Narcissistic Mothers Caroline Foster, 2020-11-03 Are you an adult child of a narcissistic mother? Do you suspect your mother has Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Caroline Foster, an experienced life coach, will lead you into a painful path of awareness, but she will also give you concrete advice on how to handle your toxic mother and change your life for the better. If you read this book: You will discover all the reasons why your childhood was so traumatic. You will learn how to handle your narcissistic mother. You will discover all of the dysfunctional beliefs and habits that you developed during your childhood. You will learn how to contrast Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms. The issue of toxic mothers undeniably challenges the status quo in various ways, but most certainly needs to be addressed. Adult children of narcissistic parents are often plagued with such an abundance of guilt and sense of deep obligation and shame that it causes them to feel duty-bound to keep whatever happened in the family secret, even when it is destroying their lives. It's really difficult to share your experience in this case, because narcissists, and especially a narcissistic mother, can be very good at creating the perfect family image for outsiders looking in. The solution is not forgiving or forgetting. You should understand your situation and work on your self-development in order to take back control of your life. Book Contents RECOGNIZING THE PROBLEM What is Pathological Narcissism Inside the Mind of a Narcissist Types of Narcissism Overt Grandiose Narcissism Covert Narcissism Narcissistic Strategies of Manipulation How the narcissist controls you Pathological Narcissists as Parents Signs of Narcissistic Parenting THE NARCISSISTIC MOTHER Enablers (enabler father) The Narcissistic Mother and The Roles She Chooses for Her Children Types of Narcissistic Mothers Narcissistic Mothers and Their Sons Narcissistic Mothers and their Daughters Effects of narcissistic abuse on Adult Children SOLUTIONS Protect Yourself from Narcissistic Mother How to Handle a Narcissistic Mother If You Live with Her No Contact with Narcissistic Mother Taking Back Your Power Move Out from Toxic Environment: Practical Tips Caring for Aging Narcissistic Mother HEALING Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) Emotional flashbacks Toxic Shame Self-abandonment Inner critic Social anxiety Self-healing Tips Even if you were born in the wrong place, and you grew up dealing with a narcissistic mother, you can leave the past behind and build a better future. It's never too late, let's start now! |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Dear Daughter of a Narcissistic Mother: 100 Letters for Your Healing and Thriving Danu Morrigan, 2021-05-04 After the tremendously successful You're Not Crazy--It's Your Mother comes a second book by Danu Morrigan. Now, Morrigan offers 100 letters written to daughters of narcissistic mothers offering advice, encouragement, and coping techniques from someone who has been there. The result is a self-help guidebook that serves as a map, action plan, and friend on the journey to full healing and thriving. |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Will I Ever Be Free of You? Karyl McBride, 2016-03-15 A practical guide to separating and divorcing from a narcissist, healing yourself, and protecting your children-- |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Narcissistic Mothers Dr Theresa J Covert, 2020-10-19 Being in a relationship with a narcissistic mother over a long period of time has long lasting traumatic effects that can be extremely catastrophic to the person suffering them. |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Mothers Who Can't Love Susan Forward, Donna Frazier Glynn, 2013-10-01 With Mothers Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters, Susan Forward, Ph.D., author of the smash #1 bestseller Toxic Parents, offers a powerful look at the devastating impact unloving mothers have on their daughters—and provides clear, effective techniques for overcoming that painful legacy. In more than 35 years as a therapist, Forward has worked with large numbers of women struggling to escape the emotional damage inflicted by the women who raised them. Subjected to years of criticism, competition, role-reversal, smothering control, emotional neglect and abuse, these women are plagued by anxiety and depression, relationship problems, lack of confidence, and difficulties with trust. They doubt their worth, and even their ability to love. Forward examines the Narcissistic Mother, the Competitive Mother, the Overly Enmeshed mother, the Control Freak, Mothers who need Mothering, and mothers who abuse or fail to protect their daughters from abuse. Filled with compelling case histories, Mothers Who Can’t Love outlines the self-help techniques Forward has developed to transform the lives of her clients, showing women how to overcome the pain of childhood and how to act in their own best interests. Warm and compassionate, Mothers Who Can’t Love offers daughters the emotional support and tools they need to heal themselves and rebuild their confidence and self-respect. |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Healing Journal for Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers , 2021-03-11 With this beautiful uplifting and funny guided journal, Valentina the scapegoat daughter of a monstrous narcissistic mother offers the perfect gift of self-love and inspiration, for when you just can't deal with your narcissistic mother's bullsh*t any longer. If you are a daughter of a narcissistic mother, With I hate you mother you will find moments of deep connection to yourself, sadness, joy, and even laughter through journaling activities and inspirations that will set you free from the madness. Within these truly empowering pages, you'll find ways to let go of her bullsh*t and lift your self love and acceptance a little higher, something your f*cking mother never did. If you are reading these words you are already somewhere along the path to recovery from emotional and psychological abuse, this journal is your trusty companion along this path. Even if you were born in the wrong place, and grew up with a narcissistic mother, you can leave the past behind and build a better life for yourself. It's never too late, let's start now! Scroll up, click on 'Buy Now' or Buy with 1-Click, and Get Your Copy today! The Book Contains: ◆ Premium matte cover design ◆ Inspirational quotes ◆ Coloring elements ◆ Funny jokes ◆ 135 pages ◆ Perfectly sized at 6 x 9 |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers Shell Teri, 2020-11-17 DOES YOUR MOTHER CRITICIZE YOU NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO? DO YOU FEEL THAT YOU CAN DO NOTHING RIGHT WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR MOTHER? DO YOU FEEL SUFFOCATED BY THE WAY SHE CONTROLS YOUR PREFERENCES, SUBJECTS, RELATIONSHIPS, FRIENDSHIPS, ETC..? Having a narcissistic mother is very exhausting. The sacred maternal bond that a daughter shares with her mother is totally shattered in a narcissistic family dynamic. LIVING WITH A NARCISSISTIC MOTHER When compared to sons, daughters bear the brunt of the narcissistic behavior of their mother. This is because mothers tend to project their thoughts and feelings on their daughters more than their sons. Mothers are aware that their daughters can very well surpass them in beauty, resolve, skill, intelligence, and more. This is why they wield discipline unmercifully. Either there is constant criticism or total indifference. If you are a helpless daughter of a narcissistic mother, this book can help you. Years of battered self-esteem and craving for her approval can leave you exhausted and feeling unworthy her love. THIS BOOK IS AN EFFORT TO HELP YOU GET AWAY FROM THE TOXIC SHADOW OF YOUR MOTHER. YOU WILL BE ABLE TO: ◆ Understand what narcissistic personality disorder is and how to recognize it ◆ Learn how to deal with a narcissistic mother ◆ Know about how to recover from narcissistic abuse ◆ Evaluate your situation and learn to cope with the behavior ◆ Learn self-care practices to heal yourself of the narcissistic abuse LIVE A FREE AND HAPPY LIFE Growing up with a narcissistic mother can stunt your development physically and mentally. If you fail to stand up for yourself you will end up leading an insecure life, one that you have no control over. The anger, hatred, abuse, and emotional neglect that narcissistic mothers expose their daughters to can leave the mother-daughter relationship in peril. Recovering from the trauma and feelings of shame and rejection is not an easy task. With this book, you will be able to recognize the signs of narcissism, learn about it, and take the necessary steps to deal with it successfully. ALSO YOU WILL LEARN TO: ◆ Identify and understand the abuse and shaming beliefs your mother has inculcated in you ◆ Replace the negativity with self-nurturing and live a life free from your mother's narcissistic influence Take this first step forward to live, breathe, and act freely without fear of disappointing her. START LIVING THE BEST LIFE POSSIBLE, AND PICK UP YOUR COPY BY CLICKING THE BUY NOW! |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: A Look at the U N , 1958 |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Mother Daughter Me Katie Hafner, 2013-07-02 The complex, deeply binding relationship between mothers and daughters is brought vividly to life in Katie Hafner’s remarkable memoir, an exploration of the year she and her mother, Helen, spent working through, and triumphing over, a lifetime of unresolved emotions. Dreaming of a “year in Provence” with her mother, Katie urges Helen to move to San Francisco to live with her and Zoë, Katie’s teenage daughter. Katie and Zoë had become a mother-daughter team, strong enough, Katie thought, to absorb the arrival of a seventy-seven-year-old woman set in her ways. Filled with fairy-tale hope that she and her mother would become friends, and that Helen would grow close to her exceptional granddaughter, Katie embarked on an experiment in intergenerational living that she would soon discover was filled with land mines: memories of her parents’ painful divorce, of her mother’s drinking, of dislocating moves back and forth across the country, and of Katie’s own widowhood and bumpy recovery. Helen, for her part, was also holding difficult issues at bay. How these three women from such different generations learn to navigate their challenging, turbulent, and ultimately healing journey together makes for riveting reading. By turns heartbreaking and funny—and always insightful—Katie Hafner’s brave and loving book answers questions about the universal truths of family that are central to the lives of so many. Praise for Mother Daughter Me “The most raw, honest and engaging memoir I’ve read in a long time.”—KJ Dell’Antonia, The New York Times “A brilliant, funny, poignant, and wrenching story of three generations under one roof, unlike anything I have ever read.”—Abraham Verghese, author of Cutting for Stone “Weaving past with present, anecdote with analysis, [Katie] Hafner’s riveting account of multigenerational living and mother-daughter frictions, of love and forgiveness, is devoid of self-pity and unafraid of self-blame. . . . [Hafner is] a bright—and appealing—heroine.”—Cathi Hanauer, Elle “[A] frank and searching account . . . Currents of grief, guilt, longing and forgiveness flow through the compelling narrative.”—Steven Winn, San Francisco Chronicle “A touching saga that shines . . . We see how years-old unresolved emotions manifest.”—Lindsay Deutsch, USA Today “[Hafner’s] memoir shines a light on nurturing deficits repeated through generations and will lead many readers to relive their own struggles with forgiveness.”—Erica Jong, People “An unusually graceful story, one that balances honesty and tact . . . Hafner narrates the events so adeptly that they feel enlightening.”—Harper’s “Heartbreakingly honest, yet not without hope and flashes of wry humor.”—Kirkus Reviews “[An] emotionally raw memoir examining the delicate, inevitable shift from dependence to independence and back again.”—O: The Oprah Magazine (Ten Titles to Pick Up Now) “Scrap any romantic ideas about what goes on when a 40-something woman invites her mother to live with her and her teenage daughter for a year. As Hafner hilariously and touchingly tells it, being the center of a family sandwich is, well, complicated.”—Parade |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Boundary Boss Terri Cole, MSW, LCSW, 2021-04-20 Break Free From Over-Functioning, Over-Delivering, People-Pleasing, and Ignoring Your Own Needs So You Can Finally Live the Life You Deserve! Most of us were never taught how to effectively express our preferences, desires or deal-breakers. Instead, we hide our feelings behind passive-aggressive behavior, deny our own truths, or push our emotions down until we get depressed or so frustrated that we explode, potentially destroying hard-won trust and relationships. The most successful and satisfied people on the planet have one thing in common: the ability to create and communicate clear, healthy boundaries. This ability is, hands down, the biggest game changer when it comes to creating a healthy, happy, self-determined life. In Boundary Boss, psychotherapist Terri Cole reveals a specific set of skills that can help you stop abandoning yourself for the sake of others (without guilt or drama) and get empowered to consciously take control of every aspect of your emotional, spiritual, physical, personal, and professional life. Since becoming a Boundary Boss is a process, Cole also offers actionable strategies, scripts, and techniques that can be used in the moment, whenever you need them. You will learn: • How to recognize when your boundaries have been violated and what to do next • How your unique “Boundary Blueprint” is unconsciously driving your boundary behaviors, and strategies to redesign it • Powerful boundary scripts so in the moment you will know what to say • How to manage “Boundary Destroyers”—including emotional manipulators, narcissists, and other toxic personalities • Where you fall on the spectrum of codependency and how to create healthy, balanced relationships This book is for women who are exhausted from over-giving, overdoing, and even over-feeling. If you’re getting it all done but at the expense of yourself, give yourself the gift of Boundary Boss. |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: You're Not Crazy - It's Your Mother: Understanding and Healing for Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers Danu Morrigan, 2021-06-29 Do you find yourself feeling emotionally bruised, upset, and confused after being in contact with your mother? Are you left doubting yourself--even feeling crazy--as she remembers some incidents totally differently than you remember them, and denies that other events even happened? Does it seem she gets frustrated, angry, or upset when good things happen in your life? Does she seem happy and energized if you have a problem or crisis? Round and round go your feelings, emotions, and half-formed thoughts, till you think you must truly be crazy. And you still end up emotionally bruised, confused, and hurt. If this resonates with you, it is possible that your mother has narcissistic personality disorder. You're Not Crazy--It's Your Mother explains what NPD is, and what it means for you and your self. This book will help you undertake a journey of recognition and recovery: of moving on, healing, and claiming your own self as the wonderful, vibrant woman you really are. |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Children of the Self-Absorbed Nina W Brown, 2008-04-01 Being a parent is usually all about giving of yourself to foster your child's growth and development. But what happens when this isn't the case? Some parents dismiss the needs of their children, asserting their own instead, demanding attention and reassurance from even very young children. This may especially be the case when a parent has narcissistic tendencies or narcissistic personality disorder. From the author of Working with the Self-Absorbed and Loving the Self-Absorbed, this major revision of a self-help classic offers a step-by-step approach to resolving conflict and building a meaningful relationship with a narcissistic parent. Children of the Self-Absorbed offers clear definitions of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder to help you identify the extent of your parent's problem. You'll learn the different types of destructive narcissism and how to recognize their effects on relationships. With the aid of proven techniques, you'll discover that you're not helpless against your parent's behavior and that you needn't consider giving up on the relationship. Instead, realistic strategies and steps are suggested for learning to set mutually agreed upon behaviors that can help you fulfill your needs and expectations. |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Narcissistic Mothers Desirée Shannon, 2019-10-02 Recovering from a narcissistic mother is possible. It's time to begin your journey to a healthier, happier future. When your mother abused you, bullied you, neglected you, and used you for her selfish gain, it was not your fault. When she made you feel trapped and like there was nowhere else for you to go, it was not your fault. And when you realized your toxic relationship with her ruined other relationships in your life, it was not your fault. Daughters of narcissistic mothers often find themselves growing up feeling massive amounts of pain, confusion, and fear in their lives. They tend to attract toxic relationships, lack self-esteem, and suffer a plethora of other painful emotional and mental symptoms. But healing from the past's trauma is possible, and you can learn to find a healthier way through life. With this guide, you'll learn how you can finally break free and recover from narcissistic abuse. You'll be able to identify the signs and symptoms of a narcissist, rebuild your mindsets and subconscious beliefs, re-evaluate your current relationships with your mother and other people, and begin your journey to a brighter future. You'll discover: What Are The Signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder? The Narcissistic Mother - a Profile How to Free Yourself and Heal From Abuse Deciding on The Future of Your Relationship How to Set Boundaries and Heal From Trauma Seeking Therapy - How to Find a Therapist for You Evaluating Your Other Relationships and Thinking About the Future And Much More With insightful advice on rebuilding your life and healing from the trauma of the past, as well as tips for building a supportive social circle and learning to recognize the signs of abuse in the future, this book is a must-have for any woman that is looking to end the cycle and heal from her mother's abuse, once and for all. Buy now to discover how you can free yourself from the past and begin your journey to a brighter future today! |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: White Oleander Janet Fitch, 2006-09-01 The unforgettable story of a young woman's odyssey through a series of Los Angeles foster homes on her journey to redemption. Astrid is the only child of a single mother, Ingrid, a brilliant, obsessed poet who wields her luminous beauty to intimidate and manipulate men. Astrid worships her mother and cherishes their private world full of ritual and mystery - but their idyll is shattered when Astrid's mother falls apart over a lover. Deranged by rejection, Ingrid murders the man, and is sentenced to life in prison. White Oleander is the unforgettable story of Astrid's journey through a series of foster homes and her efforts to find a place for herself in impossible circumstances. Each home is its own universe, with a new set of laws and lessons to be learned. With determination and humor, Astrid confronts the challenges of loneliness and poverty, and strives to learn who a motherless child in an indifferent world can become. Oprah Winfrey enjoyed this gripping first novel so much that she not only made it her book club pick, she asked if she could narrate the audio release. |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: The Healing( Pb ) Gita Aravamudan, 2008-08-22 A novel that spans several generations and seven tumultuous decades, The Healing is remarkable for the disarming simplicity with which it signposts the changing ways of contemporary India. The Babri masjid falls on the day Ramanujam, patriarch and freedom fighter, is rushed into hospital after suffering a cardiac arrest. As his wife and family stand vigil by his bedside, a second demolition is waiting to throw their lives out of gear- Shanti Nivas, the sprawling family property they have lived in for over seventy years, is to be transformed into modern apartments where all the members of the family find individual homes and possibly, an entirely different way of life. Told from the perspective of Ramanujam's younger daughter Bharati, this evocative novel set in Chennai maps the memories of Shanti Nivas and its residents. Past loves and unresolved conflicts war with the reality of present-day relationships as Bharati and her husband Krishna confront their old nemesis, doctor and sometime friend Manohar. The situation is further complicated when their older daughter Jayanti declares her intention to marry a colleague- a man who is not part of their community, or caste, or even religion. |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Healing the Adult Children of Narcissists Shahida Arabi, 1990-01-23 Those who have had a narcissistic parent can testify to how damaging it can be to one's psyche. Narcissistic parents lack empathy, show a severe sense of entitlement to micromanage the lives of their children and often subject their children to neglect, as well as emotional, psychological and physical abuse. From the unique challenges daughters of narcissistic fathers face to the ways in which adverse childhood experiences affect our brains, Shahida Arabi's insightful essays resonate deeply with those who have been raised by narcissistic parents. In this new essay collection, Arabi explores how narcissistic abuse in childhood can set us up for trauma repetition in adulthood, affecting how we navigate relationships, the self, and the world. She pinpoints the toxic traits and behaviors of narcissistic mothers and fathers, exposing how covert abuse insidiously plays out in these specific dynamics. She offers the essential tools, skill sets and healing modalities for survivors who have undergone a lifetime's worth of abuse, helping them to break the cycle once and for all for future generations. |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: This Time I Dance! Tama Kieves, 2006-09-07 These are all things that we have to deal with when going through a career change. What is most difficult is deciding to make the change, especially when you are good at what you do, and wonder whether you should just stick it out in an unhappy-albeit well-paid-environment instead of taking a risk and starting over doing something you love. In This Time I Dance!, Tama Kieves shares the inspiring wisdom that led her from being a successful Harvard lawyer to an even more successful writer and life coach. The best part? She's happy with her career! We all look for what will make us happy in life, but we don't always make the choices that we should when it comes to sustaining that happiness. Tama Kieves shows how to do just that: how to stay happy and employed doing something you love, and what it takes to stop being a stressed-out worker and make peace with your career-and, most important, with yourself. Filled with solutions to the anxieties and roadblocks you may confront on your path, This Time I Dance! is for all those who are unfulfilled at work and uncertain of the practical steps that they should follow to achieve their dreams. |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: How to Raise Successful People Esther Wojcicki, 2019 Outlines simple, counterintuitive approaches to raising happy, healthy, and successful children through parental demonstrations of respectful examples and child-directed activities that facilitate early independence and problem-solving skills. |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: How To Kill A Narcissist J.H. Simon, Narcissism is an overwhelming and confusing topic. But when you reveal its mask, you see that it is basically a lie, told to those who are vulnerable. Narcissistic abuse, by nature, is designed to keep you trapped in shame-based vertigo. It doesn’t just go away because you know it exists. Narcissism creates a set of beliefs, behaviours and paradigms in its target which must be changed from the inside. ‘How To Kill A Narcissist’ is a book with two aims: 1. To reveal the rotten core of the narcissistic personality so you can see it clearly 2. To present you with an inside-out strategy for healing, recovery and freedom Whether you are dealing with narcissistic parents, husbands, wives, friends, bosses or colleagues, the same philosophy will apply. After reading ‘How To Kill A Narcissist’, you will: - Become aware of the damage narcissistic abuse has done to your psyche and how to heal it - See how the narcissist uses shame as a weapon to fool you into feeling inferior - Understand the playing field which narcissists thrive on and how to stop playing their game - Learn how the narcissist uses mind control to break down and rebuild your identity for the purpose of subjugation - Gain tools for disarming a narcissist i.e. starving them of their narcissistic supply - Have taken a closer look beyond the label of narcissistic personality disorder ‘How To Kill A Narcissist’ takes an enlightening look at the dynamic between a narcissist and their target. It takes you on a deep journey and describes: - How we unwittingly qualify as targets of narcissists - The shame/grandiosity continuum and how the narcissist uses it to crush your self-esteem - The law of grandiosity and how it influences our relationships with the self-absorbed - The effect that narcissism has on its target including: toxic shame, a dissociated mind and a weakened ego - The obstacles which keep you trapped in a cycle of narcissistic abuse: the psychological cage, love starvation, low shame tolerance, guilt and conditioning to shamelessness Using an inside-out approach, ‘How To Kill A Narcissist’ presents the seven practices for recovery and healing: 1. Get allies: Boost self-esteem through limbic resonance 2. Give shape to your true self: Uncover disowned parts of the self and restore wholeness 3. Skill up: Empower yourself 4. Flex your muscles: Challenge the psychological cage and come out of hiding 5. Even the scale: Restore balance to your relationships 6. Boundaries: Foster a strong sense of self and firmly protect it 7. Scorched earth: Disengage from those who wish to manipulate you Each practice is designed to instil you with independence, strength, emotional resilience and awareness while allowing you to cultivate balanced, loving relationships and pursue a life of passion. This is the art of killing a narcissist. |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Narcissistic Mothers and Covert Emotional Abuse Diana Macey, 2017-02 If you feel something was very wrong with your childhood, yet you are unable to point to any of the horrific abuse often talked about in the media, this book is for you. It is for adults who don't know why they struggle with the things in life that come naturally to others, who find socialising draining because they are easily affected by the moods and the words of others and cannot understand why sadness and dissatisfaction prevail in their lives, while others thrive with seemingly a lot less.If you struggle with such issues you might be an adult child of a cover narcissistic parent. Covert narcissistic parents break down their children's self-esteem and sense of self in order to manipulate them into serving their unhealthy needs and demands. The abuse is subtle and over time, it erodes the victim's personality, distorts their sense of reality and it does severe damage to their ability to function.And if you wonder why anyone would do that, the answer is simple; narcissists are not mentally healthy people and their goal is not to raise mentally healthy offspring.Most parents do not destroy their children. The narcissism is classified as a personality disorder for a reason, and it has to do with the predatory and inadequate way of sustaining their ego. It is classified as a cluster B personality disorder with a specific set of dynamics and outcomes. This book is not about the academic description, your parents might've had full blown narcissism or had strong tendencies, ether way their unhealthy behaviour affected you and you need to understand what happened in order to heal. Other signs of such abuse are chronic anxiety, getting overwhelmed, concentration problems, substance abuse, irritability, flashbacks of humiliating moments from the past, inability to cope with failure and negative emotions, inability to enjoy the simple things others enjoy.This indicates something is majorly and fundamentally wrong with your mental state, and it is the result of the prolonged abuse you've been through. Worst of all, the abuse is not easily visible or widely acknowledged. Understanding the problem will help you start recovering. And, of course, this book is for those who already know about narcissism and narcissistic abuse. More specifically it's about covert narcissistic mothers, and how they inflict lasting damage on their children. |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: NARCISSISTIC MOTHERS AMANDA HOPE, Do you want to learn how to protect yourself from your narcissistic mother? If yes, then this book is perfect for you! Narcissistic mothers are susceptible to any real or imagined criticism and are prone to having emotional outbursts that may include verbal abuse, passive-aggressive behavior, infantilism, and even physical violence. They often try to control their children through guilt or bribes (such as gifts or money), and sometimes therapy sessions are used in the same way. They tend to be rigid, controlling, condescending, and critical. ★★★This book covers the following topics:★★★ The narcissistic personality Signs that you have a Narcissistic Mother Types of Narcissistic Mothers Daughters and Mothers Effects of Being Raised by a Narcissistic Parent Mental Manipulation and Control Protection tips Things Narcissistic Mothers Say for Mental Manipulation and Control And much more! According to Dr. Joseph Burgo (author of The Narcissist You Know”): It's not just that narcissists lack empathy; it's that they have a very particular kind of empathy deficit, empathy - the ability to sense and share another person's feelings - does exist in narcissists, but it is not what you would call 'ordinary empathy.' It is a highly selective form of emotional resonance with people in their immediate environment. Narcissists can intuitively sense when others are under stress or emotionally aroused, and they will respond emotionally and even engage in small talk with these people to comfort them or 'make them feel better.' But they will not respond with genuine empathy unless the other person demonstrates some tangible sign of distress. […] Ready to get started? Click the button and Get your copy NOW! |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Dear Daughter of a Narcissistic Mother Rachel Mann, 2017-03-02 |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Daughters Rising Katherine Fabrizio, 2015-09-14 The Mother/Daughter Relationship gets a Makeover from the Feminine Divine. You love your mother, but she can drive you crazy. No matter what you do, it isn't quite good enough. When you speak up, mom says, Well then, I guess I'm just a horrible mother. The mixed messages and guilt weighs you down and leaves you wondering if you can ever get it right. How can you turn this around, free yourself from self-doubt, and break the cycle for your own daughter? You can meditate, chant affirmations, and dutifully practice feeling grateful all you want, but you can't create the life you desire without addressing the issues around the person who first gave you life. Do you apologize chronically, saying, I'm sorry and it's ok, when it isn't? Second-guess yourself with every decision? Look to others for your sense of self worth? Feel that you have to choose between looking good and feeling good? Come with me, as I show you how the problems you have with your mother mirror the problems you have in life. By understanding what has gone wrong in the mother/daughter relationship and turning it around, you activate the Feminine energy that is the key to having the life you've always wanted. Are you ready to rise up, come alive, and live beyond your mother's limiting messages? Rise up and claim your full true Feminine power! In psychotherapist's Katherine Fabrizio's ground breaking book, DAUGHTERS RISING, she tells you how your relationship with your mother is affecting your life in ways you have not yet imagined. Your struggle with mom mirrors the internal struggle you have with yourself. The impossible standards your mother tried to live up to has caused you to be filled with shame, guilt and self-doubt. It doesn't have to be this way. Buried in each disempowering message is a message of strength and hope when you get back online with your Feminine power. You can't get there with the masculine energy that held your mother down and is so prevalent in the western culture today. This book will break the spells that are holding you back from the life you've always wanted and show you the way home to claim your true Feminine power. Get clear on the mixed messages that were passed down to you and learn how to rise above those messages. What are you waiting for? Your life is waiting. See how you have had the power in you all along. This, my pretty, changes everything. |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters Karen C.L. Anderson, 2018-03-13 “An empowering book . . . strategies for freeing yourself from the control of an unhealthy mother relationship.” —Susan Forward PhD, #1 New York Times–bestselling author of Toxic Parents For any adult daughter who struggles with a narcissistic, controlling, or otherwise difficult mother, here’s the good news: Your mother doesn't have to change in order for you to be happy. Inspired by her own journey, Karen C.L. Anderson shows women how to emotionally separate from their difficult mothers without guilt and anxiety, so they can finally create a life based on their own values, desires, needs, and preferences. With personal stories, practical tools, and journal prompts that can be used now to feel better. Anderson compassionately leads women struggling in their relationships with their difficult mothers through a process of self-awareness and understanding. Her experience with hundreds of women has resulted in cases of profound growth and transformation. This book is about Anderson discovering and accepting the whole of who she is (separate from her mother), and—in relatable, real, funny, and compassionate prose—making her discoveries accessible to women struggling to redefine their own challenging relationships with their mothers. Learn: · Why mothers and daughters can have difficult relationships · How to heal and transform your mother “wounds” · How to tell your stories in a way that empowers · How to handle the uncomfortable emotions that seem inevitable · The art of creating, articulating, and maintaining impeccable boundaries · How to stop “shouldering” How to “re-mother” yourself and acknowledge, honor, and meet your needs |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends Victoria Secunda, 2009-11-04 “A book of great value for every daughter and every mother; useful for sons, too.”—Benjamin Spock, M.D. From the Introduction: The goal of this book is to help readers achieve that separation so that they can either find a way to be friends with their mothers, or at least recognize and accept that their mothers did the best they could—even if it wasn't “good enough”—and to stop blaming them. Among the issues to be covered: • To understand how a daughter's attachment to her mother—more so than her relationship with her father—colors all her other relationships, and to analyze why it is more difficult for daughters than sons to separate from their mothers, as well as why daughters are more subject than sons to a mother's manipulation • To recognize the difference between a healthy and a destructive mother-daughter connection, and to define clearly the “bad mommy,” in order to help readers who have trouble acknowledging their childhood losses to begin to comprehend them • To conjugate what I call the “Bad Mommy Taboo”—why our culture is more eager to protect the sanctity of maternity than it is to protect emotionally abused daughters • To describe the evolution of the unpleasable mother—in all likelihood, she was bereft of maternal love as a child—and to recognize the huge, and often poignant, stake she has in keeping her grown daughter dependent and off-balance • To illustrate the consequent controlling behavior—in some cases, cloaked in fragility or good intentions—of such mothers, which falls into general patterns, including: the Doormat, the Critic, the Smotherer, the Avenger, the Deserter • To understand that the daughter has a similar stake in either being a slave to or hating her mother—the two sides of her depen dency and immaturity • To illustrate the responsive behavior—and survival mechanisms —of daughters, which is determined in part by such variables as birth rank, family history, and temperament, and which also falls into patterns, including: the Angel, the Superachiever, the Cipher, the Troublemaker, the Defector • To show how to redefine the mother-daughter relationship, so that each can learn to see and accept the other as she is today, appreciating each other's good qualities and not being snared by the bad • Finally, to demonstrate that a redefined relationship with one's mother—adult to adult—frees you from the past, whether that re definition ultimately results in real friendship, affectionate truce, or divorce. |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: The Highly Sensitive Person's Guide to Dealing with Toxic People Shahida Arabi, 2020-10-01 Reclaim your power from narcissists, manipulators, and other toxic people. If you’re a highly sensitive person, or identify as an “empath,” you may feel easily overwhelmed by the world around you, suffer from “people-pleasing,” experience extreme anxiety or stress in times of conflict, or even take on the emotions of others. Due to your naturally giving nature, you may also be a target for narcissists and self-centered individuals who seek to exploit others for their own gain. So, how can you protect yourself? In The Highly Sensitive Person’s Survival Guide to Dealing with Toxic People, you’ll learn evidence-based skills grounded in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) to help you recognize and shut down the common manipulation tactics used by toxic people, such as gaslighting, stonewalling, projection, covert put-downs, and love bombing. You’ll also discover targeted tips to protect yourself from the five main types of toxic people: Garden-variety boundary-steppers Crazymakers and attention-seekers Emotional vampires Narcissists Sociopaths and psychopaths Finally, you’ll learn how to heal from toxic or narcissistic abuse, and find strategies for establishing healthy boundaries and a strong sense of self. If you’re an HSP who is ready to take a stand against the toxic people in your life, this book has everything you need to survive and thrive. |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers Shell Teri, 2020-07-29 Includes photoreproductions of original manuscripts. |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Trapped in the Mirror Elan Golomb, PhD, 2012-06-19 In this compelling book, Elan Golomb identifies the crux of the emotional and psychological problems of millions of adults. Simply put, the children of narcissist—offspring of parents whose interest always towered above the most basic needs of their sons and daughters—share a common belief: They believe they do not have the right to exist. The difficulties experienced by adult children of narcissists can manifest themselves in many ways: for examples, physical self-loathing that takes form of overeating, anorexia, or bulimia; a self-destructive streak that causes poor job performance and rocky personal relationships; or a struggle with the self that is perpetuated in the adult's interaction with his or her own children. These dilemmas are both common and correctable, Dr. Golomb tells us. With an empathic blend of scholarship and case studies, along with her own personal narrative of her fight for self, Dr. Golomb plumbs the depths of this problem, revealing its mysterious hold on the affairs of otherwise bright, aware, motivated, and worthy people. Trapped in the Mirror explores. the nature of the paralysis and lack of motivation so many adults feel stress and its role in exacerbating childhood wrongs why do many of our relationships seem to be reruns of the past how one's body image can be formed by faulty parenting how anger must be acknowledge to be overcome and, most important, how even the most traumatized self can be healed. Rooted in a profoundly humanist traditional approach, and suffused with the benefit of the latest knowledge about intrafamily relationships, Trapped in the Mirror offers more than the average self-help book; it is truly the first self-heal book for millions. |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Mean Mothers Peg Streep, 2009-10-13 Drawn from research and the real-life experiences of adult daughters, Mean Mothers illuminates one of the last cultural taboos: what happens when a woman does not or cannot love her own daughter. Peg Streep, co-author of the highly acclaimed Girl in the Mirror, has subtitled this important, eye-opening exploration of the darker side of maternal behavior, “Overcoming the Legacy of Hurt.” There are no psychopathic child abusers in Mean Mothers. Instead, this essential volume focuses on the more subtle forms of psychological damage inflicted by mothers on their unappreciated daughters—and offers help and support to those women who were forced to suffer a parent’s cruelty and neglect. |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Adult Children Adult Children of Alcoholics (Association), 2006 This is the official ACA Fellowship Text that is Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization (ACA WSO) Conference Approved Literature. Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families (ACA) is an independent 12 Step and 12 Tradition anonymous program. |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Why Is It Always About You? Sandy Hotchkiss, 2008-06-20 In this groundbreaking book -- the first popular book on narcissism in more than a decade -- clinical social worker and psychotherapist Sandy Hotchkiss shows you how to cope with controlling, egotistical people who are incapable of the fundamental give-and-take that sustains healthy relationships. Exploring how individuals come to have this shortcoming, why you get drawn into their perilous orbit, and what you can do to break free, Hotchkiss describes the Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism and their origins. You will learn to recognize these hallmarks of unhealthy narcissism -- Shamelessness, Magical Thinking, Arrogance, Envy, Entitlement, Exploitation, Bad Boundaries -- and to understand the roles that parenting and culture play in their creation. Whether the narcissist in question is a coworker, spouse, parent, or child, Why Is It Always About You? provides abundant practical advice for anyone struggling to break narcissism's insidious spread to the next generation, and for anyone who encounters narcissists in everyday life. |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Good-Enough Mother René Syler, 2007-03-27 In an ideal world, mothers would have time to hand-sew their kids' costumes for the school play, prepare all-organic meals, and volunteer in the classroom at the drop of a hat. In reality, most moms have to settle for plopping their little ones in front of SpongeBob so that they can prepare yet another chicken nugget-based dinner, guiltily convinced they're falling down on the job. In Good-Enough Mother, René Syler pulls back the curtain to reveal the truth about modern mothering and reassure time-stressed moms that even if their children are strangers to made-from-scratch cookies, they can emerge as happy, well-adjusted, fully functioning members of society. Mother to two great kids of her own, Syler explains how she learned to chuck perfection for practicality -- in short, how she became a Good-Enough Mother. She shows other women seeking to balance family, work, and some semblance of a personal life how to happily join the ranks of Good-Enough Mothers, who occasionally serve breakfast for dinner yet give their children plenty of what really matters -- love, time, and support. Each essay provides welcome empathy and sage advice on navigating life's different obstacles, whether it's dealing with annoying Supermoms, bluffing through a third grader's math homework, or coping with the words that strike terror into every parent's heart (Your son's teacher on line one). Offering real wisdom tempered with humor and warmth, Good-Enough Mother will have every modern mom laughing in relief and recognition. |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Friendfluence Carlin Flora, 2013-01-15 Discover the unexpected ways friends influence our personalities, choices, emotions, and even physical health in this fun and compelling examination of friendship, based on the latest scientific research and ever-relatable anecdotes. Why is dinner with friends often more laughter filled and less fraught than a meal with family? Although some say it’s because we choose our friends, it’s also because we expect less of them than we do of relatives. While we’re busy scrutinizing our romantic relationships and family dramas, our friends are quietly but strongly influencing everything from the articles we read to our weight fluctuations, from our sex lives to our overall happiness levels. Evolutionary psychologists have long theorized that friendship has roots in our early dependence on others for survival. These days, we still cherish friends but tend to undervalue their role in our lives. However, the skills one needs to make good friends are among the very skills that lead to success in life, and scientific research has recently exploded with insights about the meaningful and enduring ways friendships influence us. With people marrying later—and often not at all—and more families having just one child, these relationships may be gaining in importance. The evidence even suggests that at times friends have a greater hand in our development and well-being than do our romantic partners and relatives. Friends see each other through the process of growing up, shape each other’s interests and outlooks, and, painful though it may be, expose each other’s rough edges. Childhood and adolescence, in particular, are marked by the need to create distance between oneself and one’s parents while forging a unique identity within a group of peers, but friends continue to influence us, in ways big and small, straight through old age. Perpetually busy parents who turn to friends—for intellectual stimulation, emotional support, and a good dose of merriment—find a perfect outlet to relieve the pressures of raising children. In the office setting, talking to a friend for just a few minutes can temporarily boost one’s memory. While we romanticize the idea of the lone genius, friendship often spurs creativity in the arts and sciences. And in recent studies, having close friends was found to reduce a person’s risk of death from breast cancer and coronary disease, while having a spouse was not. Friendfluence surveys online-only pals, friend breakups, the power of social networks, envy, peer pressure, the dark side of amicable ties, and many other varieties of friendship. Told with warmth, scientific rigor, and a dash of humor, Friendfluence not only illuminates and interprets the science but draws on clinical psychology and philosophy to help readers evaluate and navigate their own important friendships. |
| healing the daughters of narcissistic mothers: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Lindsay C. Gibson, 2015-06-01 Now a New York Times bestseller! If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life. In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life. Discover the four types of difficult parents: The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxiety The driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory |
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