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| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: Speaking My Mind Ronald Reagan, 2004-08 The most important speeches of America's Great Communicator: Here, in his own words, is the record of Ronald Reagan's remarkable political career and historic eight-year presidency. |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: The Last Lecture Randy Pausch, Jeffrey Zaslow, 2010 The author, a computer science professor diagnosed with terminal cancer, explores his life, the lessons that he has learned, how he has worked to achieve his childhood dreams, and the effect of his diagnosis on him and his family. |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: It's a Magical World Bill Watterson, 1996-09 A Calvin and Hobbes collection. |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: Ask a Manager Alison Green, 2018-05-01 From the creator of the popular website Ask a Manager and New York’s work-advice columnist comes a witty, practical guide to 200 difficult professional conversations—featuring all-new advice! There’s a reason Alison Green has been called “the Dear Abby of the work world.” Ten years as a workplace-advice columnist have taught her that people avoid awkward conversations in the office because they simply don’t know what to say. Thankfully, Green does—and in this incredibly helpful book, she tackles the tough discussions you may need to have during your career. You’ll learn what to say when • coworkers push their work on you—then take credit for it • you accidentally trash-talk someone in an email then hit “reply all” • you’re being micromanaged—or not being managed at all • you catch a colleague in a lie • your boss seems unhappy with your work • your cubemate’s loud speakerphone is making you homicidal • you got drunk at the holiday party Praise for Ask a Manager “A must-read for anyone who works . . . [Alison Green’s] advice boils down to the idea that you should be professional (even when others are not) and that communicating in a straightforward manner with candor and kindness will get you far, no matter where you work.”—Booklist (starred review) “The author’s friendly, warm, no-nonsense writing is a pleasure to read, and her advice can be widely applied to relationships in all areas of readers’ lives. Ideal for anyone new to the job market or new to management, or anyone hoping to improve their work experience.”—Library Journal (starred review) “I am a huge fan of Alison Green’s Ask a Manager column. This book is even better. It teaches us how to deal with many of the most vexing big and little problems in our workplaces—and to do so with grace, confidence, and a sense of humor.”—Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and author of The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide “Ask a Manager is the ultimate playbook for navigating the traditional workforce in a diplomatic but firm way.”—Erin Lowry, author of Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: Bare Feet to High Heels Jane Jenkins Herlong, 2015-02-03 Laugh with SiriusXM Southern Humorist, Jane Jenkins Herlong as she journeys from the rows of her father's tomato field to the runway of the Miss America Pageant and beyond. Step into her hilarious world of big hair, plumped lips, and fashion-covered cat fights. Behind the curtain and beneath the laughter is a poignant message; back stage wisdom is more than skin deep.Jane is an award-winning author of five books and member of the Speaker Hall of Fame. (TM) She travels the country sharing her sweet tea wisdom and Southern fried humor.Jane Jenkins Herlong's blend of Southern humor and folksy wisdom is just priceless. She deserves to be right up there with Anita Renfroe and Chonda Pierce-in some ways, she's even better. The more suburban and bland our culture gets, the more precious genuine Southern culture like this becomes. Simon & Shuster Visit Jane's Website: www.janeherlong.comMy favorite part of Jane's book is when she said that you can't run with the big dogs sittin' on the porch. Sunney-Faye Hightower, Miss Coonhunt USAPaint on the face will not create beauty but the right foundation will. This book will stick with you longer than a big helpin' of grits! |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: I Know This Much Is True Wally Lamb, 1998-06-03 With his stunning debut novel, She's Come Undone, Wally Lamb won the adulation of critics and readers with his mesmerizing tale of one woman's painful yet triumphant journey of self-discovery. Now, this brilliantly talented writer returns with I Know This Much Is True, a heartbreaking and poignant multigenerational saga of the reproductive bonds of destruction and the powerful force of forgiveness. A masterpiece that breathtakingly tells a story of alienation and connection, power and abuse, devastation and renewal--this novel is a contemporary retelling of an ancient Hindu myth. A proud king must confront his demons to achieve salvation. Change yourself, the myth instructs, and you will inhabit a renovated world. When you're the same brother of a schizophrenic identical twin, the tricky thing about saving yourself is the blood it leaves on your bands--the little inconvenience of the look-alike corpse at your feet. And if you're into both survival of the fittest and being your brother's keeper--if you've promised your dying mother--then say so long to sleep and hello to the middle of the night. Grab a book or a beer. Get used to Letterman's gap-toothed smile of the absurd, or the view of the bedroom ceiling, or the influence of random selection. Take it from a godless insomniac. Take it from the uncrazy twin--the guy who beat the biochemical rap. Dominick Birdsey's entire life has been compromised and constricted by anger and fear, by the paranoid schizophrenic twin brother he both deeply loves and resents, and by the past they shared with their adoptive father, Ray, a spit-and-polish ex-Navy man (the five-foot-six-inch sleeping giant who snoozed upstairs weekdays in the spare room and built submarines at night), and their long-suffering mother, Concettina, a timid woman with a harelip that made her shy and self-conscious: She holds a loose fist to her face to cover her defective mouth--her perpetual apology to the world for a birth defect over which she'd had no control. Born in the waning moments of 1949 and the opening minutes of 1950, the twins are physical mirror images who grow into separate yet connected entities: the seemingly strong and protective yet fearful Dominick, his mother's watchful monkey; and the seemingly weak and sweet yet noble Thomas, his mother's gentle bunny. From childhood, Dominick fights for both separation and wholeness--and ultimately self-protection--in a house of fear dominated by Ray, a bully who abuses his power over these stepsons whose biological father is a mystery. I was still afraid of his anger but saw how he punished weakness--pounced on it. Out of self-preservation I hid my fear, Dominick confesses. As for Thomas, he just never knew how to play defense. He just didn't get it. But Dominick's talent for survival comes at an enormous cost, including the breakup of his marriage to the warm, beautiful Dessa, whom he still loves. And it will be put to the ultimate test when Thomas, a Bible-spouting zealot, commits an unthinkable act that threatens the tenuous balance of both his and Dominick's lives. To save himself, Dominick must confront not only the pain of his past but the dark secrets he has locked deep within himself, and the sins of his ancestors--a quest that will lead him beyond the confines of his blue-collar New England town to the volcanic foothills of Sicily 's Mount Etna, where his ambitious and vengefully proud grandfather and a namesake Domenico Tempesta, the sostegno del famiglia, was born. Each of the stories Ma told us about Papa reinforced the message that he was the boss, that he ruled the roost, that what he said went. Searching for answers, Dominick turns to the whispers of the dead, to the pages of his grandfather's handwritten memoir, The History of Domenico Onofrio Tempesta, a Great Man from Humble Beginnings. Rendered with touches of magic realism, Domenico's fablelike tale--in which monkeys enchant and religious statues weep--becomes the old man's confession--an unwitting legacy of contrition that reveals the truth's of Domenico's life, Dominick learns that power, wrongly used, defeats the oppressor as well as the oppressed, and now, picking through the humble shards of his deconstructed life, he will search for the courage and love to forgive, to expiate his and his ancestors' transgressions, and finally to rebuild himself beyond the haunted shadow of his twin. Set against the vivid panoply of twentieth-century America and filled with richly drawn, memorable characters, this deeply moving and thoroughly satisfying novel brings to light humanity's deepest needs and fears, our aloneness, our desire for love and acceptance, our struggle to survive at all costs. Joyous, mystical, and exquisitely written, I Know This Much Is True is an extraordinary reading experience that will leave no reader untouched. |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: Bury Me with My Pearls Jane Jenkins Herlong, 2013-11-07 Bury Me with My Pearls is a real-life, roller-coaster ride of laughter, tears, and stomach-churning truths written by a professional speaker, humorist, and singer, who as Miss South Carolina, represented her state in the Miss America Pageant. Incorporating the analogy of pearls, this laugh-out-loud book bravely addresses difficult issues many in her audiences encounter within changing roles, self-actualization, and families.--Back cover |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: The Art of Procrastination John Perry, 2012-08-28 At last: Self-help for procrastinators. (The secret: acceptance!) Filled with charm, tongue-in-cheek wit, and the insights of a lifelong introspective dawdler, The Art of Procrastination is a philosophical self-help program for every reader who suffers the pangs of being a procrastinator. John Perry celebrates this nearly universal character flaw by pointing out how often procrastinators are, paradoxically, doers. They may not be accomplishing everything on their to-do lists, but that doesn’t make them slackers. It just indicates a need to rethink the to-do list. He also introduces the philosophical notion of akrasia (the mystery of why we often choose to act against our better judgement), examines the torturous relationship between procrastination and perfectionism, and shows how to give yourself permission to do an imperfect but, in fact, perfectly good job. These are strategies—task triage, horizontal organization. Underlying causes—right-parenthesis deficit disorder. Anecdotes and ideas. But above all, an attitude of acceptance. Pat yourself on the back for what you manage to get done—but don’t stop enjoying that time you waste, too. Who knows where daydreams will lead? |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free Ernie John Zelinski, 2009-09-16 Retirement is the beginning of life, not the end. |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: Fair Play Eve Rodsky, 2021-01-05 AN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A REESE'S BOOK CLUB PICK Tired, stressed, and in need of more help from your partner? Imagine running your household (and life!) in a new way... It started with the Sh*t I Do List. Tired of being the “shefault” parent responsible for all aspects of her busy household, Eve Rodsky counted up all the unpaid, invisible work she was doing for her family—and then sent that list to her husband, asking for things to change. His response was...underwhelming. Rodsky realized that simply identifying the issue of unequal labor on the home front wasn't enough: She needed a solution to this universal problem. Her sanity, identity, career, and marriage depended on it. The result is Fair Play: a time- and anxiety-saving system that offers couples a completely new way to divvy up domestic responsibilities. Rodsky interviewed more than five hundred men and women from all walks of life to figure out what the invisible work in a family actually entails and how to get it all done efficiently. With 4 easy-to-follow rules, 100 household tasks, and a series of conversation starters for you and your partner, Fair Play helps you prioritize what's important to your family and who should take the lead on every chore, from laundry to homework to dinner. “Winning” this game means rebalancing your home life, reigniting your relationship with your significant other, and reclaiming your Unicorn Space—the time to develop the skills and passions that keep you interested and interesting. Stop drowning in to-dos and lose some of that invisible workload that's pulling you down. Are you ready to try Fair Play? Let's deal you in. |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k Sarah Knight, 2015-12-31 The word-of-mouth bestseller * Published in more than 30 countries * 3 million copies sold worldwide Are you stressed out, overbooked and underwhelmed by life? Fed up with pleasing everyone else before you please yourself? Finding it hard working from home? Then it's time to stop giving a f**k, and care less to get more. This irreverent and practical book explains how to rid yourself of unwanted obligations, shame, and guilt - and give your f**ks instead to people and things that make you happy. From family dramas to having a bikini body, the simple 'NotSorry Method' for mental decluttering will help you unleash the power of not giving a f**k and will free you to spend your time, energy and money on the things that really matter. 'The anti-guru' Observer 'Absolutely blinding. Read it. Do it.' Mail on Sunday 'Genius' Cosmopolitan 'I love Knight's book even before I start reading . . . Works a charm' Sunday Times Magazine 'Life-affirming . . . The key practice she advocates is devising for yourself a fuck budget . . . It's a beautiful way of streamlining your psyche' Lucy Mangan, Guardian ALSO AVAILABLE FROM SARAH KNIGHT: YOU DO YOU: how to be who you are and use what you've got to get what you want AND Get Your Sh*t Together - the New York Times bestseller helping you organise the f**ks you want and need to give |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: The Message of You Judy Carter, 2013-02-19 Motivational humorist Judy Carter believes ordinary people have the ability to find the extraordinary stories tucked away deep inside of them, stories that not only can make a difference in the lives of others but also can result in a money-making career for the storyteller. In her previous bestseller, The Comedy Bible, Judy taught everyday people how to turn their problems into punch lines. Now, she is helping professional speakers, techies, entrepreneurs, survivors, and even complete novices to transform their tragedies and triumphs into hilarious and motivational speeches that not only educate, inspire, and entertain but also pay the rent.--From publisher description. |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: Designing Your Life Bill Burnett, Dave Evans, 2016-09-20 #1 NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER • At last, a book that shows you how to build—design—a life you can thrive in, at any age or stage • “Life has questions. They have answers.” —The New York Times Designers create worlds and solve problems using design thinking. Look around your office or home—at the tablet or smartphone you may be holding or the chair you are sitting in. Everything in our lives was designed by someone. And every design starts with a problem that a designer or team of designers seeks to solve. In this book, Bill Burnett and Dave Evans show us how design thinking can help us create a life that is both meaningful and fulfilling, regardless of who or where we are, what we do or have done for a living, or how young or old we are. The same design thinking responsible for amazing technology, products, and spaces can be used to design and build your career and your life, a life of fulfillment and joy, constantly creative and productive, one that always holds the possibility of surprise. |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Podium Herbert Victor Prochnow, 1998 [Prochnow] . . . wrote the book on public speaking. --The Chicago Rotary Club A wonderful collection! This is must reading for all who give speeches. --James W. Robinson, author of Better Speeches in 10 Simple Steps A veritable treasure chest--all in one volume. --American Banker Add sparkle to your speeches and introductions. Enliven your conversations with humor and memorable facts so that important ideas will not be forgotten. With more than 2,000 epigrams, literary quotations, anecdotes from biographies, humorous stories, inspiring illustrations, and interesting facts, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Podium is the essential reference you need to present your ideas colorfully and effectively. Inside you'll find: - 500 humorous stories - 500 epigrams and quips - 160 unusual quotations from world leaders through the ages - 292 humorous definitions - 100 stories and comments from unusual lives - 190 statements on important subjects by great thinkers - 209 wise and witty proverbs - and so much more! A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Podium is great for any occasion and makes for enjoyable browsing too! |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: Make Your Bed Admiral William H. McRaven, 2017-04-04 Based on a Navy SEAL's inspiring graduation speech, this #1 New York Times bestseller of powerful life lessons should be read by every leader in America (Wall Street Journal). If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed. On May 17, 2014, Admiral William H. McRaven addressed the graduating class of the University of Texas at Austin on their Commencement day. Taking inspiration from the university's slogan, What starts here changes the world, he shared the ten principles he learned during Navy Seal training that helped him overcome challenges not only in his training and long Naval career, but also throughout his life; and he explained how anyone can use these basic lessons to change themselves-and the world-for the better. Admiral McRaven's original speech went viral with over 10 million views. Building on the core tenets laid out in his speech, McRaven now recounts tales from his own life and from those of people he encountered during his military service who dealt with hardship and made tough decisions with determination, compassion, honor, and courage. Told with great humility and optimism, this timeless book provides simple wisdom, practical advice, and words of encouragement that will inspire readers to achieve more, even in life's darkest moments. Powerful. --USA Today Full of captivating personal anecdotes from inside the national security vault. --Washington Post Superb, smart, and succinct. --Forbes |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: Feelers Brian M Wiprud, 2009-03-03 Morty Martinez is known in the industry of estate liquidation as a feeler. If you were to look him up in the Brooklyn yellow pages, he would be listed under home content removal, but his real job is looking for stashes of cash crammed into tin cans that have been left out of wills, kept out of banks, and hidden away for decades by the frugal elderly suspicious of ATMs and the IRS. When Morty hits upon the biggest score of his life, over $800,000.00, he knows that news travels fast and he must operate quickly and carefully to safeguard his booty, his life and his destiny as patrician of a seaside Mexican village. But what he doesn't know is that there are others after the same buried treasure, including the recently paroled prison assassin Danny Kessel. |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: The Art of Doing Science and Engineering Richard W. Hamming , 2020-05-26 A groundbreaking treatise by one of the great mathematicians of our time, who argues that highly effective thinking can be learned. What spurs on and inspires a great idea? Can we train ourselves to think in a way that will enable world-changing understandings and insights to emerge? Richard Hamming said we can, and first inspired a generation of engineers, scientists, and researchers in 1986 with You and Your Research, an electrifying sermon on why some scientists do great work, why most don't, why he did, and why you should, too. The Art of Doing Science and Engineering is the full expression of what You and Your Research outlined. It's a book about thinking; more specifically, a style of thinking by which great ideas are conceived. The book is filled with stories of great people performing mighty deeds––but they are not meant to simply be admired. Instead, they are to be aspired to, learned from, and surpassed. Hamming consistently returns to Shannon’s information theory, Einstein’s relativity, Grace Hopper’s work on high-level programming, Kaiser’s work on digital fillers, and his own error-correcting codes. He also recounts a number of his spectacular failures as clear examples of what to avoid. Originally published in 1996 and adapted from a course that Hamming taught at the U.S. Naval Postgraduate School, this edition includes an all-new foreword by designer, engineer, and founder of Dynamicland Bret Victor, and more than 70 redrawn graphs and charts. The Art of Doing Science and Engineering is a reminder that a childlike capacity for learning and creativity are accessible to everyone. Hamming was as much a teacher as a scientist, and having spent a lifetime forming and confirming a theory of great people, he prepares the next generation for even greater greatness. |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: Beastie Boys Book Michael Diamond, Adam Horovitz, 2018-10-30 #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A panoramic experience that tells the story of Beastie Boys, a book as unique as the band itself—by band members ADROCK and Mike D, with contributions from Amy Poehler, Colson Whitehead, Wes Anderson, Luc Sante, and more. The inspiration for the Emmy-nominated Apple TV+ “live documentary” Beastie Boys Story, directed by Spike Jonze NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY Rolling Stone • The Guardian • Paste Formed as a New York City hardcore band in 1981, Beastie Boys struck an unlikely path to global hip hop superstardom. Here is their story, told for the first time in the words of the band. Adam “ADROCK” Horovitz and Michael “Mike D” Diamond offer revealing and very funny accounts of their transition from teenage punks to budding rappers; their early collaboration with Russell Simmons and Rick Rubin; the debut album that became the first hip hop record ever to hit #1, Licensed to Ill—and the album’s messy fallout as the band broke with Def Jam; their move to Los Angeles and rebirth with the genre-defying masterpiece Paul’s Boutique; their evolution as musicians and social activists over the course of the classic albums Check Your Head, Ill Communication, and Hello Nasty and the Tibetan Freedom Concert benefits conceived by the late Adam “MCA” Yauch; and more. For more than thirty years, this band has had an inescapable and indelible influence on popular culture. With a style as distinctive and eclectic as a Beastie Boys album, Beastie Boys Book upends the typical music memoir. Alongside the band narrative you will find rare photos, original illustrations, a cookbook by chef Roy Choi, a graphic novel, a map of Beastie Boys’ New York, mixtape playlists, pieces by guest contributors, and many more surprises. Praise for Beastie Boys Book “A fascinating, generous book with portraits and detail that float by in bursts of color . . . As with [the band’s] records, the book’s structure is a lyrical three-man weave. . . . Diamond’s voice is lapidary, droll. Horovitz comes on like a borscht belt comedian, but beneath that he is urgent, incredulous, kind of vulnerable. . . . Friendship is the book’s subject as much as music, fame and New York.”—The New York Times Book Review “Wild, moving . . . resembles a Beastie Boys LP in its wild variety of styles.”—Rolling Stone |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: Social Security 101, 2nd Edition Michele Cagan, Alfred Mill, 2024-10-01 Learn the ins and outs of the social security system in this accessible, easy-to-navigate guide with refreshed, updated information in Social Security 101, 2nd Edition. Too often, writing about social security turns the noteworthy details of the benefits into boring details about regulations or biased political arguments that would put even a diehard bureaucrat to sleep. Social Security 101, 2nd Edition, cuts out the tedious explanations and instead provides a hands-on lesson that keeps you engaged as you learn all you need to know about the federal program that’s been around since the Great Depression. From the history of social security to its likely role in the future, this primer is packed with hundreds of entertaining tidbits and concepts that will keep you on track as you learn how to maximize your benefits. Whether you want to learn about calculating your retirement age or estimating your projected payments, Social Security 101 has all the answers—even the ones you didn’t know you were looking for. |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: Doing Harm Maya Dusenbery, 2018-03-06 Editor of the award-winning site Feministing.com, Maya Dusenbery brings together scientific and sociological research, interviews with doctors and researchers, and personal stories from women across the country to provide the first comprehensive, accessible look at how sexism in medicine harms women today. In Doing Harm, Dusenbery explores the deep, systemic problems that underlie women’s experiences of feeling dismissed by the medical system. Women have been discharged from the emergency room mid-heart attack with a prescription for anti-anxiety meds, while others with autoimmune diseases have been labeled “chronic complainers” for years before being properly diagnosed. Women with endometriosis have been told they are just overreacting to “normal” menstrual cramps, while still others have “contested” illnesses like chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia that, dogged by psychosomatic suspicions, have yet to be fully accepted as “real” diseases by the whole of the profession. An eye-opening read for patients and health care providers alike, Doing Harm shows how women suffer because the medical community knows relatively less about their diseases and bodies and too often doesn’t trust their reports of their symptoms. The research community has neglected conditions that disproportionately affect women and paid little attention to biological differences between the sexes in everything from drug metabolism to the disease factors—even the symptoms of a heart attack. Meanwhile, a long history of viewing women as especially prone to “hysteria” reverberates to the present day, leaving women battling against a stereotype that they’re hypochondriacs whose ailments are likely to be “all in their heads.” Offering a clear-eyed explanation of the root causes of this insidious and entrenched bias and laying out its sometimes catastrophic consequences, Doing Harm is a rallying wake-up call that will change the way we look at health care for women. |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: Speeches on Special Occasions , 1839 |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: A Century of Innovation 3M Company, 2002 A compilation of 3M voices, memories, facts and experiences from the company's first 100 years. |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: English for Nurses Shama Lohumi, 2015-07-15 What's New in the Second Edition• More examples have been added in the chapters• Exercises have been increased in several chapters• Several chapters like Narration and Voice have been revised for better clarity of the concept• Chapters like Essay Writing and Comprehension have been revised to include more health care scenarios |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: Debating in the World Schools Style Simon Quinn, 2009 Offers students an overview of the world schools style of debating, with expert advice for every stage of the process, including preparation, rebuttal, style, reply speeches, and points of information. |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: What Retirees Want Ken Dychtwald, Robert Morison, 2020-06-09 Dychtwald and Morison offer a brilliant and convincing perspective: an essential re-think of what 'aging' and 'retirement' mean today and an invitation to help mobilize the best in the tidal wave of Boomer Third Agers. —Daniel Goleman, PhD, Author, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ Throughout 99 percent of human history, life expectancy at birth was less than 18 years. Few people had a chance to age. Today, thanks to extraordinary medical, demographic, and economic shifts, most of us expect to live long lives. Consequently, the world is witnessing a powerful new version of retirement, driven by the power and needs of the Baby Boomer generation. Consumers over age 50 account for more than half of all spending and control more than 70% of our total net worth – yet are largely ignored by youth-focused marketers. How will work, family, and retirement be transformed to accommodate two billion people over the age of 60 worldwide? In the coming years, we'll see explosive business growth fueled by this unprecedented longevity revolution. What Retirees Want presents the culmination of 30 years of research by world-famous Age Wave expert Ken Dychtwald, Ph.D., and author and consultant Robert Morison. It explains how the aging of the Baby Boomers will forever change our lives, businesses, government programs, and the consumer marketplace. This exciting new stage of life, the Third Age, poses daunting questions: What will old look like in the years ahead? With continued advances in longevity, all of the traditional life-stage markers and boundaries will need to be adjusted. What new products and services will boom as a result of this coming longevity revolution? What unconscious ageist marketing practices are hurting people – and business growth? Will the majority of elder boomers outlive their pensions and retirement savings and how can this financial disaster be prevented? What incredible new technologies of medicine, life extension, and human enhancement await us in the near future? What purposeful new roles can we create for elder boomers so that the aging nations of the Americas, Europe, and Asia capitalize on the upsides of aging? Which pioneering organizations and companies worldwide have created marketing strategies and programs that resonate with the quirky and demanding Boomer generation? In this entertaining, thought-provoking, and wide-ranging book, Dychtwald and Morison explain how individuals, businesses, non-profits, and governments can best prepare for a new era – where the needs and demands of the Third Age will set the lifestyle, health, social, marketplace, and political priorities of generations to come. |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: Refire! Don't Retire Ken Blanchard, Morton Shaevitz, 2015-02-02 Bring a renewed sense of purpose to the next chapter of your life with the New York Times bestselling author’s guide to thriving in retirement. Many people see their later years as a time to endure rather than as an exciting opportunity. Yet research and common sense confirm that people who embrace these years with energy and gusto consistently find them to be rich and rewarding. In Refire! Don't Retire, Ken Blanchard and Morton Shaevitz offer inspiring insight and thought-provoking questions to help people make the rest of their lives the best of their lives. In the trademark Ken Blanchard style, the authors tell the compelling story of Larry and Janice Sparks, who discover how to see each day as an opportunity to enhance their relationships, stimulate their minds, revitalize their bodies, and grow spiritually. As they learn to be open to new experiences, Larry and Janice rekindle passion in every area of their lives. Readers will find humor, practical information, and profound wisdom in Refire! Don't Retire. Best of all, they will be inspired to make all the years ahead truly worth living. |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: Dave Hill Doesn't Live Here Anymore Dave Hill, 2016 A painfully funny series of autobiographical essays, centered around the relationship between comedian Dave Hill and his dad, in the wake of his mother's death, as father and son redefine their relationship--and Dave, finally, becomes a man-- |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: Make Good Art Neil Gaiman, 2013-05-14 THIS BOOK IS FOR EVERYONE LOOKING AROUND AND THINKING, NOW WHAT?” Neil Gaiman’s acclaimed commencement address, Make Good Art, thoughtfully and aesthetically designed by renowned graphic artist Chip Kidd. This keepsake volume is the perfect gift for graduates, aspiring creators, or anyone who needs a reminder to run toward what gives them joy. When Neil Gaiman delivered his Make Good Art commencement address at Philadelphia’s University of the Arts, he shared his thoughts about creativity, bravery, and strength. He encouraged the fledgling painters, musicians, writers, and dreamers to break rules and think outside the box. Most of all, he encouraged them to make good art. The speech resonated far beyond that art school audience and immediately went viral on YouTube and has now been viewed more than a million times. Acclaimed designer Chip Kidd brings his unique sensibility to this seminal address in this gorgeous edition that commemorates Gaiman's inspiring message. |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: 101 Ways to Open a Speech Brad Phillips, 2015-07-12 This book will introduce you to a broad range of speech starters, using dozens of real-life examples and original suggestions. You will find opens intended to surprise, persuade, motivate, engage, and amuse your audiences. Some tell a story, others help frame your topic, and a few rely on modern technology. |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: Why Does He Do That? Lundy Bancroft, 2003-09-02 In this groundbreaking bestseller, Lundy Bancroft—a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men—uses his knowledge about how abusers think to help women recognize when they are being controlled or devalued, and to find ways to get free of an abusive relationship. He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You’ve asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men—and change your life. In Why Does He Do That? you will learn about: • The early warning signs of abuse • The nature of abusive thinking • Myths about abusers • Ten abusive personality types • The role of drugs and alcohol • What you can fix, and what you can’t • And how to get out of an abusive relationship safely “This is without a doubt the most informative and useful book yet written on the subject of abusive men. Women who are armed with the insights found in these pages will be on the road to recovering control of their lives.”—Jay G. Silverman, Ph.D., Director, Violence Prevention Programs, Harvard School of Public Health |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: Encyclopedia of Ethical Failure Department of Defense, 2009-12-31 The Standards of Conduct Office of the Department of Defense General Counsel's Office has assembled an encyclopedia of cases of ethical failure for use as a training tool. These are real examples of Federal employees who have intentionally or unwittingly violated standards of conduct. Some cases are humorous, some sad, and all are real. Some will anger you as a Federal employee and some will anger you as an American taxpayer. Note the multiple jail and probation sentences, fines, employment terminations and other sanctions that were taken as a result of these ethical failures. Violations of many ethical standards involve criminal statutes. This updated (end of 2009) edition is organized by type of violations, including conflicts of interest, misuse of Government equipment, violations of post-employment restrictions, and travel. |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: Brothers, We are Not Professionals John Piper, 2013 John Piper pleads with fellow pastors to abandon the professionalization of the pastorate and pursue the prophetic call of the Bible for radical ministry. |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: Leonard and Hungry Paul Ronan Hession, 2021-05-11 A disarming novel that asks a simple question: Can gentle people change the world? In this charming and truly unique debut, popular Irish musician Ronan Hession tells the story of two single, thirty-something men who still live with their parents and who are . . . nice. They take care of their parents and play board games together. They like to read. They take satisfaction from their work. They are resolutely kind. And they realize that none of this is considered . . . normal. Leonard and Hungry Paul is the story of two friends struggling to protect their understanding of what’s meaningful in life. It is about the uncelebrated people of this world — the gentle, the meek, the humble. And as they struggle to persevere, the book asks a surprisingly enthralling question: Is it really them against the world, or are they on to something? |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: Cain's Last Stand Sandy Mitchell, 2008 As the forces of Chaos overwhelm Perlia, can Commissar Cain prove himself to be a real hero of the Imperium one last time? |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: Present! a Techie's Guide to Public Speaking Poornima Vijayashanker, Karen Catlin, 2015-11-02 The ultimate interactive public speaking guide from tech speakers Poornima Vijayashanker and Karen Catlin that prepares and encourages techies to discover their expertise, confidently share it, and successfully level up in their careers. Techies around the world can now jump start and grow their speaking careers with the book, Present! A Techie's Guide to Public Speaking, written by tech leaders, Poornima Vijayashanker and Karen Catlin. The book serves as a resource for technology professionals who want or need to develop the skills to communicate their expertise effectively, whether in a meeting at work or delivering an engaging talk at a conference. Poornima, who is the founder of Femgineer and the founding engineer of Mint.com, collaborated with former Adobe vice president and founder of Karen Catlin Consulting, Karen Catlin, to compile and share their lessons, tips, and techniques learned from their own experiences as professional tech speakers. Karen and I wanted to write this book so that our fellow techies would have a comprehensive resource to help them with their own public speaking endeavors. So many folks in the tech industry have amazing ideas and experience, but they often feel stuck on how to present them effectively. Also, our hope is that more women will be inspired by our stories and encouraged to get out there and share their own valuable expertise through public speaking in order to boost representation of women tech speakers, Poornima said. Present! covers public speaking from A to Z. Through stories, examples, and interactive exercises, Poornima and Karen dive into topics including, overcoming stage fright, exploring personal speaking style, creating the right talk for the right audience, polishing presence and delivery, and nailing any type of talk, whether it's a lightning or long-form talk or being part of a panel. Karen said, Even though Poornima and I are professional speakers, we felt it was important to share our own feelings of nerves and uncertainty, and bumps we've had along the way - and sometimes continue to experience. It was important for us to communicate that no one is perfect and it really is okay when talks don't always go according to plan. Our hope is that by being open, we'll be able to give others the confidence and the techniques to handle situations when they arise, deliver an amazing presentation, and most importantly, have FUN! |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: A Journey, a Reckoning, and a Miracle K. J. Fraser, 2009 Set in America after 2008, A Journey, a Reckoning and a Miracle follows the stories of Lucy, a seventeen year old Rapture believer who travels on a pilgrimage to honor the dead but finds the living; George, a former leader, who through suffering, finally acknowledges his tragic mistakes and begins atonement; and Judith, a severely wounded Iraq War vet who recovers her identity, voice and sense of humor with the help of her loved ones. |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: Communicative English for Nurses , 3rd Edition - E-Book Shama Lohumi, Rakesh Lohumi, 2021-09-22 Communicative English for Nurses , 3rd Edition - E-Book |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: You Got This Lisa Kleiman, 2019-08-27 Inspiring and Authentic! Boring and Incomprehensible! Which of these phrases best describes your speech presentations? Lisa Kleiman is a speaking consultant with a passion for communication. She has coached hundreds of individuals and facilitated classes, workshops, and seminars across the globe. In You Got This, she shares her secrets about stepping out in front of any group and successfully delivering your message with clarity, confidence, and authenticity. Filled with worksheets and helpful tips, You Got This helps you prepare for every possibility—from big picture issues like determining your audience to the smallest details, such as the clothes you’ll wear. Lisa’s easy-to-use guide gives you all the tools you need to present a speech that delivers, including the following— • Managing speech anxiety • Planning, speech writing, and practicing • Strategies to becoming a better presenter • Knowing when and how to smoothly adapt your message during your speech • Effectively planning, managing, and addressing audience questions • Speaking authentically and using humor effectively • And more! Not just for formal speeches, You Got This also includes advice for employment interviews, wedding toasts, and other impromptu speeches that everybody encounters at some point in their lives. Say goodbye to the often incapacitating stress of public speaking. With these practical and strategic guidelines, you will triumph every time! Recent graduates just starting out in their careers and repeat veteran speakers who continually struggle with crafting impactful presentations will want this must-read on their bookshelves. |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: Outspoken Veronica Rueckert, 2019-07-02 Are you done with the mansplaining? Have you been interrupted one too many times? Don’t stop talking. Take your voice back. Women’s voices aren’t being heard—at work, at home, in public, and in every facet of their lives. When they speak up, they’re seen as pushy, loud, and too much. When quiet, they’re dismissed as meek and mild. Everywhere they turn, they’re confronted by the assumptions of a male-dominated world. From the Supreme Court to the conference room to the classroom, women are interrupted far more often than their male counterparts. In the lab, researchers found that female executives who speak more often than their peers are rated 14 percent less competent, while male executives who do the same enjoy a 10 percent competency bump. In Outspoken, Veronica Rueckert—a Peabody Award–winning former host at Wisconsin Public Radio, trained opera singer, and communications coach—teaches women to recognize the value of their voices and tap into their inherent power, potential, and capacity for self-expression. Detailing how to communicate in meetings, converse around the dinner table, and dominate political debates, Outspoken provides readers with the tools, guidance, and encouragement they need to learn to love their voices and rise to the obligation to share them with the world. Outspoken is a substantive yet entertaining analysis of why women still haven’t been fully granted the right to speak, and a guide to how we can start changing the culture of silence. Positive, instructive, and supportive, this welcome and much-needed handbook will help reshape the world and make it better for women—and for everyone. It’s time to stop shutting up and start speaking out. |
| funny retirement speeches for coworkers: Your Happiness Portfolio for Retirement Marianne T. Oehser, 2019-05-03 Make the post-career phase of your life the happiest and most fulfilling time of your life! So much changes as you move from your career into the Third Act of your life! You have to redefine your identity, find a new reason to get up in the morning, build a new structure for your days, and replace part of your social network. Some people slip easily into their new life and others struggle. Many of us fill our days with fun and relaxing things to do but get to the point where we want something more – then we feel a bit empty. You know you need a financial portfolio to retire but did you know you also need a Happiness Portfolio ®? This book is a practical guide to creating your Happiness Portfolio ® and flourishing in your Third Act. It includes valuable information and thought-provoking exercises to design your retirement life so you enjoy it to the max and feel that your life is fulfilling. You will explore: • Why this change is sometimes so difficult • How to structure your life so there is plenty of time for both fun and doing things that make you feel like your life is worthwhile • What it really means to be happy • Some tools for dealing with the bumps you are certain to encounter along the way This book is right for you if: • You intend to retire soon or • If you retired in the past five years or so Scroll up and click on “Look inside” to learn more or just add it to your cart. |
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