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| coping with your difficult older parent: Coping with Your Difficult Older Parent Grace Lebow, Barbara Kane, Irwin Lebow, 2011-08-02 Do You Have An Aging Parent Who -- Blames you for everything that goes wrong? Cannot tolerate being alone, wants you all the time? Is obsessed with health problems, real, or imagined? Make unreasonable and/or irrational demands of you? Is hostile, negative and critical? Coping with these traits in parents is an endless high-stress battle for their children. Though there's no medical defination for difficult parents, you know when you have one. While it's rare for adults to change their ways late in life, you can stop the vicious merry-go-round of anger, blame, guilt and frustration. For the first time, here's a common-sense guide from professionals, with more than two decades in the field, on how to smooth communications with a challenging parent. Filled with practical tips for handling contentious behaviors and sample dialogues for some of the most troubling situations, this book addresses many hard issues, including: How to tell your parent he or she cannot live with you. How to avoid the cycle of nagging and recriminations How to prevent your parent's negativity from overwhelming you. How to deal with an impaired parent who refuses to stop driving. How to asses the risk factors in deciding whether a parent is still able to live alone. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Doing the Right Thing Roberta Satow, Ph.D., 2006-03-16 Now in paperback, one of the first books to help navigate the profound emotional challenges of caring for elderly parents in a strained parent-child relationship. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Children of the Aging Self-Absorbed Nina W Brown, 2015-09-01 Growing up with a parent who is self-absorbed is difficult, and they may become more difficult to deal with as they age. This essential book shows how to cope with your aging parent's narcissistic behavior, and provides tips to help protect yourself and your children from their self-absorbed, destructive actions. As your self-absorbed parent grows older and becomes more dependent on you, hurtful relationships may resurface and become further strained. In the tradition of Children of the Self-Absorbed, author Nina Brown offers the first book for adult children of aging narcissistic or self-absorbed parents. You will learn practical, powerful strategies for navigating the intense negative feelings that your parents can incite, as well as tips to protect your children from the criticism, blame, or hostility that may exist between you and their grandparent. In this book, you will gain greater awareness of how and why your parent's self-absorbed behaviors and attitudes get worse, and develop strategies to manage the negative feelings that can arise as a result. You'll also learn to reduce the shame and guilt that may be felt when you feel like you don't want to be a caretaker. Finally, you'll learn to set limits with your parent so you can stay sane during this difficult time. Having an aging parent can be stressful enough, but dealing with an aging narcissistic or self-absorbed parent is especially challenging. This essential guide will help you through. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Taking Care of Parents Who Didn't Take Care of You Eleanor Cade, 2009-08-19 A self-help guide for those who have to take care of their aging parents. Caring for aging parents is difficult-it's exhausting, expensive, time-consuming, and under appreciated. And that's under the best of circumstances, when the caregiver loves and respects his or her aging parent. What happens when adult children are asked to care for elderly parents who were abusive, neglectful, or absent? Here is a compassionate and practical guide to facing the psychological and emotional issues that arise when caring for aging parents. Eleanor Cade offers sound as well as personal accounts from individuals who have made the choice to care for difficult parents. The result is a powerful guide to moving beyond feelings of anger, regret, and grief in order to build healthy new family dynamics based on decency and mercy.Target audience For individuals who are caring for aging, dysfunctional parents, as well as counselors and therapists who work with familiesFeaturesan authoritative resource for baby boomers caring for aging parentsdefines differences between normal and dysfunctional familiespersonal stories validate the experiences and feelings of readers |
| coping with your difficult older parent: A Bittersweet Season Jane Gross, 2011-04-26 Just a few of the vitally important lessons in caring for your aging parent—and yourself—from Jane Gross in A Bittersweet Season As painful as the role reversal between parent and child may be for you, assume it is worse for your mother or father, so take care not to demean or humiliate them. Avoid hospitals and emergency rooms, as well as multiple relocations from home to assisted living facility to nursing home, since all can cause dramatic declines in physical and cognitive well-being among the aged. Do not accept the canard that no decent child sends a parent to a nursing home. Good nursing home care, which supports the entire family, can be vastly superior to the pretty trappings but thin staffing of assisted living or the solitude of being at home, even with round-the-clock help. Important Facts Every state has its own laws, eligibility standards, and licensing requirements for financial, legal, residential, and other matters that affect the elderly, including qualification for Medicare. Assume anything you understand in the state where your parents once lived no longer applies if they move. Many doctors will not accept new Medicare patients, nor are they legally required to do so, especially significant if a parent is moving a long distance to be near family in old age. An adult child with power of attorney can use a parent’s money for legitimate expenses and thus hasten the spend-down to Medicaid eligibility. In other words, you are doing your parent no favor—assuming he or she is likely to exhaust personal financial resources—by paying rent, stocking the refrigerator, buying clothes, or taking him or her to the hairdresser or barber. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Elder Rage Jacqueline Marcell, 2001 Elder Rage, or Take My Father... Please: How to Survive Caring for Aging Parents--is a riveting true story as well as an extensive self-help book, with solutions for effective management, medically and behaviorally, of challenging elders who resist care. Jacqueline Marcell's poignant and often-humorous story of caring for her challenging elderly father and sweet but frail mother, addresses issues like how to get an obstinate elder to: give up driving, accept a caregiver, see a different doctor, take medication, go to adult day care, move to a new residence, etc. Includes: Behavior Modification Guidelines, 25 Q&A's=How Do I Handle My Elderly Loved One Who...?, Long-Term Care Insurance, Ten Warning Signs of Alzheimer's, How is Alzheimer's Diagnosed, Three Stages of Alzheimer's, Startling Statistics, Other Diseases That Act Like Alzheimer's, Jacqueline's Top Ten Recommendations, Hope For The Future, The Search for the Cure, Valuable Resources, Recommended Reading. Internationally known dementia specialist, Rodman Shankle, MS MD, contributes the Addendum: A Physician's Guide to Treating Dementia. Over 50 endorsements include: Hugh Downs, Regis Philbin, Dr. Dean Edell, Duke University Center for Aging, Dr. Nancy Snyderman/ABC News, Leeza Gibbons, Senator John D. Rockefeller IV, Rudy Tanzi/Harvard Medical School, and The Johns Hopkins Memory Clinic. http://www.elderrage.com |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Role Reversal Iris Waichler, MSW, LCSW, 2016-08-16 Designed to help caregivers understand how to cope with and overcome the overwhelming challenges that arise while caregiving for a loved one—especially an aging parent—Role Reversal is a comprehensive guide to navigating the enormous daily challenges faced by caregivers. In these pages, Waichler blends her personal experience caring for her beloved father with her forty years of expertise as a patient advocate and clinical social worker. The result is a book offering invaluable information on topics ranging from estate planning to grief and anger to building a support network and finding the right level of care for your elderly parent. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Working Daughter Liz O'Donnell, 2019-07-31 Working Daughter provides a roadmap for women trying to navigate caring for aging parents and their careers. Using the author’s own experiences as a prime example, it’s ideal for readers who want straight talk and real advice about the challenges and rewards of eldercare while managing a career and family. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: How to Care for Aging Parents Virginia Morris, 2004-10-15 Thoroughly updated and expanded, a compassionate, single-volume reference to the many emotional, legal, financial, medical, and logistical issues associated with caring for aging parents covers such areas as nursing homes, finances, finding a good doctor, legal arrangements, redefining parental relationships, and handling emotional challenges. Original. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Parenting Your Parents Dr. Grant Ethridge, Tammy Ethridge, 2019-09-03 Help and Hope for the Hard Road Ahead If you are currently providing care for your aging parents or facing the prospect of doing so in the near future, you are definitely not alone. Dr. Grant Ethridge and his wife, Tammy, have been there, having given care during their dads’ last days. They know the stress and uncertainty you face. Through their story and those of other caregivers, Grant and Tammy share research and practical tips to aid you in dealing with everyday caregiving struggles and situations. You will learn how to decide which care is best, prepare legal documents, handle family disputes, and much more. They will also share encouragement and advice from the Bible. You’ll discover that with God’s help, you can make it through even the most difficult days in your journey. Looking after an elderly or sick parent is a physically and emotionally draining experience. Let this book give you the tools you need to be successful without giving away your peace of mind in the process. And remember, as you give care to your parents, your Heavenly Father is always caring for you. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: How to Say It® to Seniors David Solie, 2004-09-07 A practical guide to bridging the generation gap. In How to Say It to Seniors, geriatric psychology expert David Solie offers help in removing the typical communication blocks many experience with the elderly. By sharing his insights into the later stages of life, Solie helps in understanding the unique perspective of seniors, and provides the tools to relate to them. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: When Parents Have Problems Susan B. Miller, 2019-02-21 Numerous books have been written for adults who grew up coping with troubled and difficult parents. Often the adults who read these books say, I wish someone had told me that when I was a kid; it might have helped me so much. Unfortunately, not much has been written for the kids who are coping in the present with difficult or troubled parents. This book is written out of the belief that intelligent kids can use sound ideas to improve their lives, either on their own or with the help of healthy adults. It will offer help in sorting out whether a difficult situation may be a result of a parent’s problems. In this new third edition, changes have been made throughout in order to update and refine the author’s ideas. Two new chapters have been added, as well. The first new chapter addresses parents who tell lies. Dishonest parents are motivated in several different ways, but all dishonest parents pose special problems for their children. The second chapter discusses the idea that all parents have problems some of the time. In this chapter, the author helps young people look at the challenges posed by recognizing that all parents, even excellent ones, have shortcomings, and it differentiates between the ordinary shortcomings that all parents have and more serious problems in parenting. This book is an excellent resource for therapists, school counselors, group leaders, and others who work with children and teenagers and who want reading materials to recommend to them. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: When Your Aging Parent Needs Help Leslie Kernisan, MD, 2021-02-11 It's scary and stressful when it happens ... noticing changes in your parent and becoming increasingly worried about their health and safety. Maybe it's Mom leaving the stove on, Dad getting lost on his way home, or unpaid bills that trigger this realization. Or perhaps there have been falls or emergency room visits. Whatever it is, you know something's wrong. You wonder about a diagnosis. And you want your aging parent to accept help, or perhaps move. Helping an older parent can be gratifying. But it's especially hard if they're blowing off your concerns, refusing to make changes, or otherwise resisting your efforts. You want them to listen, but they get upset or withdraw when you try to talk about this. What to do? You don't have to remain stuck in conflict with your parent (or other family members). You don't have to keep getting the runaround from doctors or feel stumped about next steps. Instead, use an expert's clear plan on how to help your aging parent. In this practical, step-by-step guide, geriatrician Leslie Kernisan, MD, walks you through what to do and what to say in order to offer respectful assistance and intervention to a declining elderly parent. Full of actionable advice and insider tips, When Your Aging Parent Needs Help provides practical and flexible steps that move concerned families toward effective elder care action, while respecting a parent's dignity and autonomy. You'll discover: How to communicate with your aging parent to reduce conflicts and enhance cooperation The A-B-C-D-E assessment framework for Alzheimer or other dementia concerns, safety issues, or independent living - and steps to implement change Strategies to overcome parental resistance, health provider reluctance to share information, and family disagreement How to get a medical evaluation for memory loss and, if applicable, a diagnosis for Alzheimer's or another dementia What to know about possible mental incompetence, powers of attorney, HIPAA, and other options for gaining legal authority as a caregiver How to find geriatric care managers and other eldercare professionals to assist Downloadable worksheets, symptom checkers, and checklists to bring to doctor visits What this looks like family stories that show you what these action steps look like in real-world situations Transform good intentions into workable solutions and improved relationships. If you're concerned about an aging parent's health, wellbeing, or safety, you'll find encouragement and direction for this next life stage in When Your Aging Parent Needs Help. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Adult Sibling Relationships Geoffrey L. Greif, Michael E. Woolley, 2015-12-08 The bond siblings develop in childhood may be vastly different from the relationship that evolves in adulthood. Driven by affection but also characterized by ambivalence and ambiguity, adult sibling relationships can become hurtful, uncertain, competitive, or exhausting though the undercurrents of love and loyalty remain. An approach that recognizes the positive aspects of the changing sibling relationship, as well as those that need improvement, can restore healthy ties and rebuild family closeness. With in-depth case studies of more than 260 siblings over the age of forty and interviews with experts on mental health and family interaction, this book offers vital direction for traversing the emotional terrain of adult sibling relations. It pursues a richer understanding of ambivalence, a normal though little explored feeling among siblings, and how ambiguity about the past or present can lead to miscommunication and estrangement. For both professionals and general readers, this book clarifies the most confounding elements of sibling relationships and provides specific suggestions for realizing new, productive avenues of friendship in middle and later life—skills that are particularly important for siblings who must cooperate to care for aging parents or give immediate emotional or financial support to other siblings or family members. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Children of the Self-Absorbed Nina W Brown, 2008-04-01 Being a parent is usually all about giving of yourself to foster your child's growth and development. But what happens when this isn't the case? Some parents dismiss the needs of their children, asserting their own instead, demanding attention and reassurance from even very young children. This may especially be the case when a parent has narcissistic tendencies or narcissistic personality disorder. From the author of Working with the Self-Absorbed and Loving the Self-Absorbed, this major revision of a self-help classic offers a step-by-step approach to resolving conflict and building a meaningful relationship with a narcissistic parent. Children of the Self-Absorbed offers clear definitions of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder to help you identify the extent of your parent's problem. You'll learn the different types of destructive narcissism and how to recognize their effects on relationships. With the aid of proven techniques, you'll discover that you're not helpless against your parent's behavior and that you needn't consider giving up on the relationship. Instead, realistic strategies and steps are suggested for learning to set mutually agreed upon behaviors that can help you fulfill your needs and expectations. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Lindsay C. Gibson, 2015-06-01 Now a New York Times bestseller! If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life. In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life. Discover the four types of difficult parents: The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxiety The driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory |
| coping with your difficult older parent: The Caregiving Season Jane Daly, 2016-09-01 Caring for elderly parents is challenging. It’s a season of life that requires grace and strength that can only come from God. In The Caregiving Season, Jane Daly shares personal caregiving stories, offering practical advice to help you honor your aging parents well and deepen your personal relationship with Christ along the journey. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Coping with Un-Cope-Able Parents Carol-Ann Hamilton, 2012-09-14 Do you: Meet unquantifiable resistance in merely hinting its time your headstrong parents leave their decades-old residence? Battle belligerently at daring to suggest household caregivers to your defiant folks, given their progressive inability to perform basic daily tasks? Serve up your total human capacity to your unappreciative relatives without coming close to filling their bottomless pit? Enter resident expert Carol-Ann Hamilton. Her unique termun-cope-ableperfectly describes her own intractable duo. Through painful personal experience across decades, Carol-Ann has discovered and tested twelve innovative Keys to Coping. Eureka! Success! Engage with the Impossible Parents Questionnaire and overcome 10 hair-yanking eldercare challenges Apply 6 LOVING attitudes and stay centered during crazy-making exchanges Gain 6 down-to-earth ACTION strategies that guarantee your targeted efforts will achieve headway Be inspired by others illuminating stories, knowing youre not alone anymore Benefit from Carol-Anns hard-won lessons. Share her poignant yet hilarious journey. Get the support you needNOW. Say good-bye to feeling victimized and over-burdened. Say hello to relief and hope in Coping with Un-cope-able Parents! |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Dealing with Difficult Parents Todd Whitaker, Douglas Fiore, 2013-08-16 This book helps teachers, principals, superintendents, and all educators develop a repertoire of tools and skills for comfortable and effective interaction with parents. It shows you how to deal with the parent who is bossy, volatile, argumentative, aggressive, or maybe the worst - apathetic. It provides specific phrases to use with parents to help you avoid using trigger words which unintentionally make matters worse. It will show you how to deliver bad news to good parents, how to build positive credibility to all types of parents, and how to foster the kind of parent involvement which leads to student success. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Can't We Talk about Something More Pleasant? Roz Chast, 2014-05-06 #1 New York Times Bestseller 2014 NATIONAL BOOK AWARD FINALIST In her first memoir, New Yorker cartoonist Roz Chast brings her signature wit to the topic of aging parents. Spanning the last several years of their lives and told through four-color cartoons, family photos, and documents, and a narrative as rife with laughs as it is with tears, Chast's memoir is both comfort and comic relief for anyone experiencing the life-altering loss of elderly parents. When it came to her elderly mother and father, Roz held to the practices of denial, avoidance, and distraction. But when Elizabeth Chast climbed a ladder to locate an old souvenir from the “crazy closet”-with predictable results-the tools that had served Roz well through her parents' seventies, eighties, and into their early nineties could no longer be deployed. While the particulars are Chast-ian in their idiosyncrasies-an anxious father who had relied heavily on his wife for stability as he slipped into dementia and a former assistant principal mother whose overbearing personality had sidelined Roz for decades-the themes are universal: adult children accepting a parental role; aging and unstable parents leaving a family home for an institution; dealing with uncomfortable physical intimacies; managing logistics; and hiring strangers to provide the most personal care. An amazing portrait of two lives at their end and an only child coping as best she can, Can't We Talk about Something More Pleasant will show the full range of Roz Chast's talent as cartoonist and storyteller. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Families Caring for an Aging America National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine, Health and Medicine Division, Board on Health Care Services, Committee on Family Caregiving for Older Adults, 2016-12-08 Family caregiving affects millions of Americans every day, in all walks of life. At least 17.7 million individuals in the United States are caregivers of an older adult with a health or functional limitation. The nation's family caregivers provide the lion's share of long-term care for our older adult population. They are also central to older adults' access to and receipt of health care and community-based social services. Yet the need to recognize and support caregivers is among the least appreciated challenges facing the aging U.S. population. Families Caring for an Aging America examines the prevalence and nature of family caregiving of older adults and the available evidence on the effectiveness of programs, supports, and other interventions designed to support family caregivers. This report also assesses and recommends policies to address the needs of family caregivers and to minimize the barriers that they encounter in trying to meet the needs of older adults. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Parenting Our Parents Jane Wolf Frances, 2019-09-17 This book is a “must read” for anyone who is presently caring for their aging parents, anyone who will eventually care for their aging parents or anyone planning on growing older. The author brings her decades of professional experiences as a psychotherapist, an attorney, a coach and a daughter to this book. She simultaneously chronicles her own heart-warming and touching journey as well as providing a comprehensive guide on doing effective family caregiving in the 21st century. Many report feeling “deeply understood” reading this book as they resonated with the candid revelations of the author’s inner struggles. Others find hers “a sane voice in a difficult world.” You will not be disappointed with reading the dilemmas, insights and decisions told in “My Story,” as you see what can be learned from this expert’s mistakes as well as her successes. Jane Wolf Frances offers many valuable tips and insights as she guides you from the beginning of the POPcycle, as she’s termed it, all the way to the end of her own parents’ lives. Whether you’re one of the 75 million Americans who are lucky enough to be “ParentingOurParents,” or you’re still struggling with overwhelm and confusion, you’ll need to know what’s being offered here. You will learn how you can: read the signs your parents need help; have “the talk” with your folks; make crucial decisions to get the maximum benefits available; enroll more family to be on the team; balance the elements in the new life you’re taking on as ParentingOurParents will change your life; transform the remarkable challenges of role reversals - legal, emotional, practical, residential - into a true journey of love. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: When Your Adult Child Breaks Your Heart Joel Young, Christine Adamec, 2013-12-03 Behind nearly every adult who is accused of a crime, becomes addicted to drugs or alcohol, or who is severely mentally ill and acting out in public, there is usually at least one extremely stressed-out parent. This parent may initially react with the bad news of their adult child behaving badly with, Oh no! followed by, How can I help to fix this? A very common third reaction is the thought, Where did I go wrong--was it something I said or did, or that I failed to do when my child was growing up that caused these issues? Is this really somehow all my fault? These parents then open their homes, their pocketbooks, their hearts, and their futures to saving their adult child--who may go on to leave them financially and emotionally broken. Sometimes these families also raise the children their adult children leave behind: 1.6 million grandparents in the U.S. are in this situation. This helpful book presents families with quotations and scenarios from real suffering parents (who are not identified), practical advice, and tested strategies for coping. It also discusses the fact that parents of adult children may themselves need therapy and medications, especially antidepressants. The book is written in a clear, reassuring manner by Dr. Joel L. Young, medical director of the Rochester Center for Behavioral Medicine in Rochester Hills, Michigan; with noted medical writer Christine Adamec, author of many books in the field. In the wake of the Newtown shooting and the viral popularity of the post I Am Adam Lanza's Mother, America is now taking a fresh look, not only at gun control, but also on how we treat mental illness. Another major issue is our support or stigmatization of those with adult children who are a major risk to their families as well to society itself. This book is part of that conversation. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: The Complete Family Guide to Dementia Thomas F. Harrison, Brent P. Forester, 2022-08-10 If you are facing the unique challenges of caring for a parent with dementia, you are not alone. What do you do when your loved one so plainly needs assistance, but is confused, angry, or resistant to your help? Where can you find the vital information you need, when you need it? Journalist Thomas Harrison and leading geriatric psychiatrist Brent Forester show that you don’t have to be a medical expert to be a good care provider in this authoritative guide. They explain the basics of dementia and offer effective strategies for coping with the medical, emotional, and financial toll. With the right skills, you can navigate changing family roles, communicate better with your parent, keep him or her safe, and manage difficult behaviors. Learn how to care smarter, not harder--and help your loved one maintain the best possible quality of life. Winner (Second Place)--American Journal of Nursing Book of the Year Award, Consumer Health Category Winner (Third Place)--Foreword INDIES Book of the Year Award, Family & Relationships Category |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Parenting Matters National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine, Division of Behavioral and Social Sciences and Education, Board on Children, Youth, and Families, Committee on Supporting the Parents of Young Children, 2016-11-21 Decades of research have demonstrated that the parent-child dyad and the environment of the familyâ€which includes all primary caregiversâ€are at the foundation of children's well- being and healthy development. From birth, children are learning and rely on parents and the other caregivers in their lives to protect and care for them. The impact of parents may never be greater than during the earliest years of life, when a child's brain is rapidly developing and when nearly all of her or his experiences are created and shaped by parents and the family environment. Parents help children build and refine their knowledge and skills, charting a trajectory for their health and well-being during childhood and beyond. The experience of parenting also impacts parents themselves. For instance, parenting can enrich and give focus to parents' lives; generate stress or calm; and create any number of emotions, including feelings of happiness, sadness, fulfillment, and anger. Parenting of young children today takes place in the context of significant ongoing developments. These include: a rapidly growing body of science on early childhood, increases in funding for programs and services for families, changing demographics of the U.S. population, and greater diversity of family structure. Additionally, parenting is increasingly being shaped by technology and increased access to information about parenting. Parenting Matters identifies parenting knowledge, attitudes, and practices associated with positive developmental outcomes in children ages 0-8; universal/preventive and targeted strategies used in a variety of settings that have been effective with parents of young children and that support the identified knowledge, attitudes, and practices; and barriers to and facilitators for parents' use of practices that lead to healthy child outcomes as well as their participation in effective programs and services. This report makes recommendations directed at an array of stakeholders, for promoting the wide-scale adoption of effective programs and services for parents and on areas that warrant further research to inform policy and practice. It is meant to serve as a roadmap for the future of parenting policy, research, and practice in the United States. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Difficult Judith R. Smith, 2022-02-15 A much-needed perspective on how to mother difficult adult children while balancing one’s own needs. Difficult brings to life the conflicts that arise for mothers who are confronted with the unexpected, burdensome, and even catastrophic dependencies of their adult children associated with mental illness, substance use, or chronic unemployment. Through real stories of mothers and their challenging adult children, this book offers relatable, provocative, and, at times, shocking illustrations of the excruciating maternal dilemma: Which takes precedence—the needs of the mother or of the distressed adult child? With guidance for finding social support, staying safe, engaging in self-care, and helping the adult child, Difficult is a compassionate resource for those living in a family situation which too many keep secret and allows readers to see that they are not alone. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Setting Boundaries® with Your Adult Children Allison Bottke, 2019-12-03 This important and compassionate new book from the creator of the successful God Allows U-Turns series will help parents and grandparents of the many adult children who continue to make life painful for their loved ones. Writing from firsthand experience, Allison identifies the lies that kept her, and ultimately her son in bondage—and how she overcame them. Additional real life stories from other parents are woven through the text. A tough–love book to help readers cope with dysfunctional adult children, Setting Boundaries® with Your Adult Children will empower families by offering hope and healing through S.A.N.I.T.Y.—a six–step program to help parents regain control in their homes and in their lives. S = STOP Enabling, STOP Blaming Yourself, and STOP the Flow of Money A = Assemble a Support Group N = Nip Excuses in the Bud I = Implement Rules/Boundaries T = Trust Your Instincts Y = Yield Everything to God Foreword by Carol Kent (When I Lay My Isaac Down) |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Cruising through Caregiving Jennifer L. FitzPatrick, 2016-09-27 Caregiving is no vacation, but you can cruise more smoothly through it! If you’re facing the daunting reality that you’re about to become a caregiver—whether you planned for it or not—Cruising through Caregiving is the down-to-earth and authoritative answer you need. Jennifer FitzPatrick has been through nearly every possible scenario on the caregiving spectrum, both professionally and personally, and she expertly shows you how to be a responsible, loving caregiver without being overcome by guilt, exhaustion, or worry. It doesn’t matter whether you have advantages such as money or an extended family. You don’t have to passively just let things happen. No matter your particular situation, FitzPatrick has a practical and thoughtful solution to deal with it. She’ll help you discover and harness powers you don’t even know you have—from getting other family members to participate in caregiving to navigating a loved one’s finances, living setting, or declining physical and mental health conditions. Advice and resources from FitzPatrick and twenty-four other professionals show how to give your loved one the best quality of life possible without sacrificing your own life, health, career, relationships, or financial stability. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: They're Your Parents, Too! Francine Russo, 2010-01-26 Your parents are growing older and are getting forgetful, starting to slow down, or worse. Suddenly you find yourself at the cusp of one of the most important transitions in your life—and the life of your family. Your parents need you and your siblings to step up and take care of them, a little or a lot. To make the right things happen, you will all need to work together. And yet your siblings may have very different ideas from yours of what’s best for Mom and Dad. They may be completely uninterested in helping, leaving you with all the responsibility. Or they may take charge and not allow you to help, or criticize whatever help you do give. Will you and your siblings be able to reach an understanding and work together, or will the challenges you face tear you apart? Most of us enter this period of our lives unprepared for the difficult decisions and delicate negotiations that lie ahead. This is the first book that provides guidance on the transition from the “old” family to the “new” one, especially for adult siblings. Here you’ll find practical advice on a wide range of topics including • Who will make major medical decisions, manage finances, and enforce end-of-life choices if your parents cannot? And how will this be decided and carried out? • How will you negotiate caregiving issues and deal with unequal contributions or power struggles? • How can inheritance and the division of property, assets, and personal effects be handled to minimize hurt feelings and resentment? • How will you cope with the natural reemergence of unresolved childhood rivalries, hurts, and needs? • How can caring for your parents be an enriching experience rather than a thankless chore? • Most important, how can you ensure the best care for your parents while lessening conflict, guilt, anger, and angst? Written by a veteran journalist who chronicles life and how baby boomers live it, They’re Your Parents, Too! offers all the information, insight, and advice you’ll need to make productive choices as you and your siblings begin to assume your parents’ place as the decision-making generation of your family. Filled with expert guidance from gerontologists, family therapists, elder-care attorneys, financial planners, and health workers; resonant real-life stories; and helpful family negotiation techniques, this is an indispensable book for anyone whose parents are aging. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: When Your Child Has a Chronic Medical Illness Frank J. Sileo, Carol S. Potter, 2021-01-26 Written by leading mental health professionals, this warm and accessible parenting book for children with chronic illnesses offers clear, practical guidance for all aspects of the journey. When you're focused on ensuring your child gets the best possible treatments for their symptoms, it's easy to overlook or dismiss the impact the illness can have on your relationships and emotions. This book places your psychological well-being front and center, so you can be the best caregiver possible for your child. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: A Catholic Guide to Caring for Your Aging Parent Monica Dodd, 2009-06-15 Monica Dodds understands the pressures that millions of middle-aged Americans endure as they become caregivers to aging parents. Her professional work with the elderly has exposed her to the complex medical, financial, and legal problems that entangle older people. Her personal experience helping ailing family members has given her deep insight into the difficulties caregivers face in dealing with these problems. A Catholic Guide to Caring for Your Aging Parent is a comprehensive guide for caregivers. Dodds insists that faith is a fundamental part of caregiving, and her approach is deeply rooted in Catholic spirituality. She shows adult children how they can love and serve their aging parents better by deepening their own spiritual lives. Caregiving, she says, is a time of many grace-filled moments. Dodds explains how to properly assess the needs of a failing older person, and she writes in detail about the physical, mental, emotional, interpersonal, and spiritual dimensions of care. Three extensive appendices provide checklists for assessing needs, a compilation of resources, and an anthology of prayers. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Death of a Parent Debra Umberson, 2003-04-28 When a parent dies, most adults are seized by an unexpected crisis that can trigger a profound transformation. Using in-depth interviews and national surveys, Dr Umberson explains why the death of a parent has strong effects on adults and looks at protective factors that help some individuals experience better mental health following the death than they did when the parent was alive. This is the first book to rely on sound scientific method to document the significant adverse effects of parental death for adults in a national population. Exploring the social and psychological risk factors that make some people more vulnerable than others, readers will come to view the loss of a parent in a new way: as a turning point in adult development. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Running on Empty Jonice Webb, 2012-10-01 A large segment of the population struggles with feelings of being detached from themselves and their loved ones. They feel flawed, and blame themselves. Running on Empty will help them realize that they're suffering not because of something that happened to them in childhood, but because of something that didn't happen. It's the white space in their family picture, the background rather than the foreground. This will be the first self-help book to bring this invisible force to light, educate people about it, and teach them how to overcome it. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Parent Burnout Joseph Procaccini, Mark Kiefaber, 1984 |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Hope for the Caregiver Peter Rosenberger, 2015-10-15 There are 65.7 million caregivers in America, making up 29 percent of the U.S. adult population. Where does the caregiver turn when dealing with their own need for encouragement and renewal? |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Running on Empty No More Jonice Webb, 2017-11-07 “Opens doors to richer, more connected relationships by naming the elephant in the room ‘Childhood Emotional Neglect’” (Harville Hendrix, PhD & Helen Lakelly Hunt, PhD, authors of the New York Times bestseller Getting the Love You Want). Since the publication of Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect, many thousands of people have learned that invisible Childhood Emotional Neglect, or CEN, has been weighing on them their entire lives, and are now in the process of recovery. Running on Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships will offer even more solutions for the effects of CEN on people’s lives: how to talk about CEN, and heal it, in relationships with partners, parents, and children. “Filled with examples of well-meaning people struggling in their relationships, Jonice Webb not only illustrates what’s missing between adults and their parents, husbands, and their wives, and parents and their children; she also explains exactly what to do about it.” —Terry Real, internationally recognized family therapist, speaker and author, Good Morning America, The Today Show, 20/20, Oprah, and The New York Times “You will find practical solutions for everyday life to heal yourself and your relationships. This is a terrific new resource that I will be recommending to many clients now and in the future!” —Dr. Karyl McBride, author of Will I Ever Be Good Enough? |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Your Turn for Care Laura S. Brown, Laura S Brown, PH D, 2012-12-13 Your Turn is the first book for adults who were abused and maltreated by older family members who are now faced with the aging and death of those abusive elders. This book discusses the reasons that this normal life passage has become especially difficult for adult survivors, drawing on psychological research about the long-term effects of childhood maltreatment. It then addresses how adult survivors can move through this time of time and make it into an opportunity for their own healing. Specific suggestions for self-care and strategies for decision-making are presented. An extensive list of written and on-line resources on a variety of related topics is included in the book. Your Turn is the only book that speaks to the special concerns of adult survivors of childhood maltreatment who are at this juncture in their lives. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: The Caregiving Trap Pamela D. Wilson, 2015-10-06 The Caregiving Trap combines the authentic life and professional experience of Pamela D. Wilson, who provides recommendations for overwhelmed and frustrated caregivers who themselves may one day need care. The Caregiving Trap includes stories about Pamela's actual personal and professional experience along with end of chapter exercises to support caregivers. Common caregiving issues include: A sense of duty and obligation to provide care that damages family relationships Emotional and financial challenges resulting in denial of care needs Ignorance of predictive events that result in situations of crises or harm Delayed decision making and lack of planning resulting in limited choices Minimum standards of care supporting the need for advocacy |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Connect First: 52 Simple Ways to Ignite Success, Meaning, and Joy at Work Melanie Katzman, 2019-10-22 #1 WALL STREET JOURNAL BESTSELLER • USA TODAY BESTSELLER A renowned business psychologist, advisor, and consultant to the world’s leading companies reveals the key to greater success, meaning, and joy at work Technology has enabled us to be more interconnected today than ever before. So why do so many of us feel isolated and undervalued at work? Why does it feel like something is missing? It doesn’t have to be this way. In these rapidly changing, challenging times, how do we—YOU—develop the intuition, self-awareness, and interpersonal agility required to prosper? Here’s what we’ve lost track of: organizations are run by people, and people run on emotions. Strong relationships are the bedrock of lasting success, meaning, and joy at work. In this life-changing guide, Dr. Melanie Katzman shows you an impactful approach to connect first as fellow humans, then as coworkers and colleagues, to forge the deep bonds that make a significant difference. Learn how to: • Establish respect and make others feel valued • Engage all of your senses to create a truly inclusive culture • Become popular and be the person everyone wants to work with • Grow loyalty by making it about them—your coworkers • Resolve conflicts by remaining curious and open with others • Fight fear (and prepare for the future) by stepping outside your comfort zone and experimenting with new ideas • Have a big impact by leveraging your platform, living your values, and leading the change Dr. Katzman presents 52 actions you can take immediately to create a deeply rewarding work life by connecting to yourself, your organization, and the world at large. These are the same powerful techniques she has used with leaders and employees at the world’s top companies to enhance productivity and foster fulfillment and joy at work—the hallmarks of true success. |
| coping with your difficult older parent: Occupational Therapy Practice Framework: Domain and Process Aota, 2014 As occupational therapy celebrates its centennial in 2017, attention returns to the profession's founding belief in the value of therapeutic occupations as a way to remediate illness and maintain health. The founders emphasized the importance of establishing a therapeutic relationship with each client and designing an intervention plan based on the knowledge about a client's context and environment, values, goals, and needs. Using today's lexicon, the profession's founders proposed a vision for the profession that was occupation based, client centered, and evidence based--the vision articulated in the third edition of the Occupational Therapy Practice Framework: Domain and Process. The Framework is a must-have official document from the American Occupational Therapy Association. Intended for occupational therapy practitioners and students, other health care professionals, educators, researchers, payers, and consumers, the Framework summarizes the interrelated constructs that describe occupational therapy practice. In addition to the creation of a new preface to set the tone for the work, this new edition includes the following highlights: a redefinition of the overarching statement describing occupational therapy's domain; a new definition of clients that includes persons, groups, and populations; further delineation of the profession's relationship to organizations; inclusion of activity demands as part of the process; and even more up-to-date analysis and guidance for today's occupational therapy practitioners. Achieving health, well-being, and participation in life through engagement in occupation is the overarching statement that describes the domain and process of occupational therapy in the fullest sense. The Framework can provide the structure and guidance that practitioners can use to meet this important goal. |
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